Midnight Pals: It's January

Poe: boy
Poe: boy it's sure been a year, hasn't it?
King: edgar, it's January

Poe: it looks like the regime is letting up
Mary Shelley: how do you figure that
Poe: they demoted greg bovino
Mary Shelley: not good enough
Shelley: i want him [redacted]
Shelley: and also [redacted]
Shelley: [redacted]

Poe: whoa! Mary!
Poe: you can't
Poe:
Poe: well
King: she's not wrong
Poe: i didn't say she was wrong
Poe: it's just
Poe: there might be mods around
Poe: but yeah she's not wrong

Shelley: i'm not done
Poe: now?
Shelley: no
Shelley: also [redacted]
Shelley: and [redacted]
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Shelley: oh, and [redacted]
Poe: yeah
Poe: yeah that's fair

George Romero: it's far from over
Romero: only when the people understand the reality of their power can the regime be defeated
Romero: the people united will never be divided
Shelley: yeah, see, this guy? i like the cut of his jib

Barker: hey there's a bright side to all this
Barker: now that he's been fired, bovino's got plenty of time to have more twitter beefs with steve
King: that wasn't ICE oberkommandant greg bovino
King: that was former FBI deputy director dan bongino
Barker: WHAT
King: yeah, you know, the guy from the song

Barker: what the fuck??
Barker: you're telling me those are two different guys!?
King: yeah i had the same reaction
Barker: jesus christ
Barker: next you're gonna tell me they got some guy called bob boobino running the nsa or something

Dan Bongino: eeeeey its me dan bongino, bada bing bada boom!!!
Bongino: i used ta be da FBI deputy director, new york's finest, back da blue baby!!!
Bongino: but turned out runnin' da FBI was alotta work an i ain't about dat
Bongino: so i quit to dedicate myself to my real passion
Bongino: podcastin', baby!!!!

Bongino: eyyyy its da dan bongino podcast
Bongino: eyyy getcha bacon-flavored dick pills right he'e, i gottem right he'e
Bongino: braised wit da farts straight from da anus of da god king himself
Bongino: dis is way easier dan a real job!
Bongino: i shoulda done this long ago!
Bongino: oh wait i guess i kinda did

King: boy!
King: everything in the world is so heavy right now
King: it would be nice if we could get back to some light hearted japes
Bitter Karella: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY
Mary Shelley: oh great, this little shit again

Bitter Karella: now that all those wacky dan bongino jokes have got your attention
Karella: i want to remind you that i, bitter karella, am now on the long list for a stoker award
King:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Poe:
Karella: it's kind of a big deal

Karella: i mean
Karella: how many stoker awards have YOU won?
Barker: twice
Karella:
Karella: oh
King: 13
Karella: …oh

Barker: whoa whoa whoa
Barker: 13??!?!
Barker: how is that fair?
King: well
King: i don't like to brag
King: but there's a reason they call me king
King: and it's not because my name is Stephen King
King: but also, yes, because of that too

Koontz: I've been nominated
King:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
King: that's great, dean!
Koontz: 4 times!
King: that's super!
King: isn't that great, everyone?
Barker: yeah yeah it's real nice

Koontz: i got nominated for my book about robot santa
King: oh yeah i remember that
King: you really should have won for that, dean
King: honestly i think you were robbed
Poe: yeah everyone liked that one