Midnight Pals: Eureka

Poe: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of eureka
Poe: this is going to be a little different from my usual stuff
Poe: it's actually a scientific meditation on the nature of the universe
Barker: is this one of those things where you have to be high to get it
Barker: cuz if it is, i want to know now

Poe: no! it's not just some ridiculous navel-gazing drivel!
Poe: it's actually a complete system of cosmology
Poe: arrived at via facts and logic
Poe: and my patented system of ratiocination (tm)
Barker: oh for pete's sake
Barker: edgar, stop trying to make ratiocination (tm) happen
Barker: it ain't gonna happen!

Poe: ok so before i go any further
Poe: the first thing that you have to understand is that space time is curved
Barker: oh god this is gonna be a snoozer
Fitz James O'Brien: no way man i totally get this
Barker: are you high right now

O'Brien: ha ha
O'Brien: oh man
O'Brien: oh man you are tripping me out man
O'Brien: have you ever looked at your hand, man?
O'Brien: i mean like REALLY looked at your hand?

Poe: so this whole philosophy is based on the premise
Poe: "because nothing was, all things are"
Barker:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Poe: oh don't you all give me that stare
Poe: it makes perfect sense!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Barker: edgar was explaining the philosophy of the universe
Shelley: is this john barth shit
Poe: again with john barth!
Poe: no, mary, this is not meta in any way
Shelley: ok good cuz i don't fuck with that john barth shit
Shelley: as I've said on previous occasions

Poe: ok so listen
Poe: "because nothing was, all things are"
Shelley:
Shelley: yeah i don't get it
Barker: see? it's gibberish
Poe: it's not gibberish!
Poe: some people say it's my greatest work!

Poe: some people say that "eureka: a pros poem" is bigger than the discovery of gravity!
Shelley: oh yeah? who says that?
Poe:
Poe: well, for one, i did. just now.

O'Brien: ohh!
O'Brien: i get it
O'Brien: it makes TOTAL sense!
O'Brien: yeah man he's saying that we're all one with the universe, man
O'Brien: the important thing is that the universe is EVOLVING, constantly expanding and contracting
Shelley: ok see THAT makes sense
Shelley: why didn't you explain it like that, edgar?
Poe: