Midnight Pals: Lectures

[unicorn fuck club]
JRR Tolkien: sorry chaps I can't speak tonight
Tolkien: i'm afraid i'm quite busy at my day job
Tolkien: being a professor at oxford
CS Lewis: wow, a professor AND a writer? must be hard
Tolkien: you have no idea

Tolkien: let me tell you
Tolkien: being a professor is no cake walk
CS Lewis: oh?
Tolkien: yeah, see
Tolkien: there's this one really annoying student

Tolkien: i can't wait to get away from this stupid teaching
Tolkien: and get back to what's really important
Tolkien: sexy sexy hobbit feet
Tolkien: now if there's no questions, i think we can end class early
Diana Wynne Jones: actually professor
Jones: i have several questions
Tolkien: jesus fucking christ

Diana Wynne Jones: [raising hand] professor, professor!
Jones: pick me, professor, I'm ever so smart!
Tolkien: goddamnit
Tolkien: i'll show her
Tolkien: i'll make this lecture so incredibly boring that she'll HAVE to drop the class
Tolkien: heh heh delightfully devilish, jirt!

Tolkien: allow me to introduce myself
Tolkien: they call me professor Tolkien
Tolkien: i'm dull and drab and dreary
Tolkien: and that ain't even jokin'!

Tolkien: my monotonous drone can hypnotize!
Tolkien: my boring mumbles will paralyze!
Tolkien: my lectures are real dull, not thought provokin'
Tolkien: t-t-t-tedious! t-t-tiresome!
Tolkien: T-t-t-t-Tolkien!
Tolkien: DON'T MESS WITH THE PROFESSOR!!

Tolkien: so in conclusion
Tolkien: that's why hobbits never wear shoes
Tolkien: now since everyone's left for the day-
Jones: i'm still here!
Tolkien:
Tolkien: [through gritted teeth] so you are

Tolkien: look diana it's not that you're not a good student
Tolkien: i certainly do find the idea of female students to be a fascinating concept
Tolkien: but couldn't you go to
Tolkien: maybe a different lecture?
Tolkien: i hear CS Lewis does some good ones
Tolkien: everyone knows he's the fun professor

CS Lewis: so the administration says i gotta grade you
Lewis: here's what i think of their rules, man
Lewis: [throws rule book out window, students gasp]
Lewis: that's right
Lewis: [sits backwards on chair] i'm not just a professor
Lewis: i'm a COOL professor