Midnight Pals: Trad Times
Added 2025-12-02 17:00:15 +0000 UTCColleen Hoover: well golly
Hoover: i don't know why everyone's so scared of lil' ol' me
Hoover: i'm just a girl, after all
Hoover: just a harmless girl
Hoover: i just love normal girl things
Hoover: like canning my own jams and fruit preserves
Hoover: wearing a gingham dress while churning butter on my family homestead
Hoover: and feeding my hungry hungry boys a nutritious organic seed oil-free meal of fried beef tallow and horse paste
Hoover: i just want to be a good tradwife
Patricia Highsmith: hey i kinda dig this broad
Hoover: wearing modest yet figure flattering 1950s styled outfits
Highsmith: nice
hoover: and pleasing my man
Highsmith: ugh
Highsmith: never mind, sweetheart, you had to go and ruin it
Hoover: that's me, i just love living on a farm
Hoover: i
Hoover: ugh, what is that awful smell???
Ursula Vernon: oh sorry that's me
Vernon: i just got back from working my farm
Vernon: you're probably smelling honest work sweat
Vernon: and also pig manure
Hoover: gross!!!
Hoover: actual farming???
Hoover: yucky!
Hoover: ew ew gross!!!
Hoover: don't get near me!
Hoover: you're going to soil my freshly laundered linen shift!
Hoover: i don't have time to do any actual farming
Hoover: i'm too busy filming my pickling and canning processes for tik tok
Hoover: and laughing at my baby's enormous testicles
Comments
Honestly, I just made that up cuz her whole vibe seems very trad. Not sure if she actually is, tho!
Bitter Karella
2025-12-03 17:17:19 +0000 UTCwait wait wait wait so you're telling me, apart from writing god awful books, Hoover is also presenting trad wife on social media? I did not think my opinion of her could get any lower than it already was 🙄
Claire Hiria Ahuriri-Dunning
2025-12-03 09:12:34 +0000 UTCHmmm. I do enjoy canning.
Pamela Adams
2025-12-02 17:27:08 +0000 UTC
