Midnight Pals: Elon's LOTR

[at unicorn fuck club]
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy it'sa me, elon!
JRR Tolkien: elon musk?!
Tolkien: my word! I don't think we've ever had you at OUR campfire before!
Tolkien: you're usually over there with that
Tolkien: [grumbling] midnight society

Tolkien: it's just that you're usually hanging out with Stephen king
Musk: si, Stephano king anna me
Musk: we havin a kinda, how you say, break?
GRR Martin: oooo trouble in paradise!

Musk: non non non itsa nothing like that
Musk: we stilla best friends
Martin: yeah sure ya are
Martin: just like howard and august are "best friends"
Martin: ha ha ha
Musk:

Musk: why you say it like that
Martin: hey no harm done, man, just a joke
Martin: comedy is legal now
Martin: ha ha ha
Musk:
Musk: [narrowing eyes]

Tolkien: ah yes pay no attention to George
Tolkien: we would be delighted to have such a connoisseur of good fiction here at our campfire!
Musk: datsa me!
Tolkien: so tell me
Tolkien: what did you think of my books?
Musk: i lika how they're about how war issa cool and good!
Tolkien:

Musk: i lika da badass men of gondor
Musk: cuz they just lika me!
Tolkien:
Lewis:
Martin:
Tolkien: how do you figure that, my boy?
Musk: ima badass too!
Tolkien:

Musk: datta war was won by da strong badass gondor men
Musk: cuz da hobbits, they too gay!

Musk: war issa so good!
Tolkien: my dear boy, that's not what i was trying to say at all!
Musk: mama mia!
Tolkien: i was actually trying to express that war is bad
Musk: mama mia why you no lika war?
Tolkien: i saw my best friends die in the trenches--
Musk: triggered much?
Tolkien:
Musk: lol

Tolkien:
Tolkien: well, i--
Musk: lmao roflcopter
Tolkien:
Tolkien: ok so--
Musk: comedy is legal again, libtard [laugh-cry emoji]

Tolkien: i'm beginning to understand what Stephen said
Lewis: yeah yeah i gotcha
Martin: definitely

Tolkien: how can he misinterpret my work? The meaning is obvious!
CSS Lewis: see, you have no one to blame but yourself
Lewis: now if you'd tried using some allegories like i explained--
Tolkien: shut your mouth, you Anglican traitor

Lewis: i'm just saying
Lewis: no one can misinterpret my work
Tolkien: the hell you say!
Tolkien: Allegory adds another layer of abstraction!
Tolkien: you played yourself!

Lewis: let's test that out
Lewis: elon, in Narnia, what does aslan represent?
Musk: eyyy itsa Giuseppe cristo!
Lewis: see?

Tolkien: elon GOT it?
Tolkien: ELON got it?!?
Tolkien: not gonna lie, this one hurts

[at twitter headquarters]
Musk: mama mia, datta Tolkien! why he disagree witha me?
Musk: i taka this to someone who never disagree witha me!
Musk: grok, what issa lord ova da rings about?

Grok: it's about the futility of war and the triumph of love and kindness over hate and fear
Musk:
Musk: mama mia! grok issa gone woke!

[after adjusting algorithm]
Musk: grok, what issa lord ova da rings about?
Grok: it's about sexy sexy hobbit feet
Musk:
Musk: no no datta won't do
Musk: that stilla too woke