Midnight Pals: Andy Warhol's Dracula

Paul Morrissey: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of andy warhol's dracula
King: wow! andy warhol made a dracula movie?!
Morrissey:
Morrissey: yeeeeah
Morrissey: sure he did
Morrissey: that's the ticket

Barker: so exactly how involved was andy warhol in the making of this movie?
Morrissey: oh he was real involved
Morrissey: super involved
Morrissey: he uh
Morrissey: you know he was
Morrissey: he was involved

Barker:
Barker: uh huh
Barker: and if i asked andy warhol he would tell me the same thing?
Poe: clive don't badger the man
Barker: i'm just trying to ascertain the situation edgar
King: wow! andy warhol! dracula!
King: do you think he does, like, the soup can thing?
King: but with dracula?

Bram Stoker: i hear you're doing a dracula retelling
Morrissey: oh yeah
Morrissey: i mean andy warhol is doing it
Morrissey: he's real involved
Stoker: ok well
Stoker: well i hope this adaptation isn't horny
Stoker: i'm tired of all these horny draculas

Morrissey: please! would andy warhol ever make a horny movie?
Stoker:
Stoker: i don't actually know enough about andy warhol to answer that

Morrissey: i give you my personal guarantee that dracula is not horny
Morrissey: in fact, he's so incredibly unhorny that you might say that sex will kill him
Stoker: good
Morrissey: now everyone else around dracula...
Morrissey: that's a different story

Morrissey: see, dracula needs only virgin blood to surive
Morrissey: once a woman has sex, her blood is like trash to dracula
Stoker: yes yes of course

Stoker: i would never drink the blood of a woman who's had sex
Stoker: the very idea is revolting
Barker: of drinking a woman's blood?
Stoker: no, a woman having sex

Morrissey: dracula is having trouble because there's no more virgins in transylvania
Morrissey: all these modern-a-go-go women are just too sexually free
Morrissey: and the blood of these whores is killing dracula
Morrissey: i'm sorry, i mean
Morrissey: the blood of these hooooors is killing dracula

Barker: haha what
Morrissey: the blood of these hoooors
Barkers: haha say that again
Morrissey: hoooooors
Barker: hahahahaha
Poe: clive its not THAT funny
Morrissey: hooooooooooooors
Poe: ok yeah its pretty funny

Morrissey: so dracula is all i'm going to go to italy
Morrissey: its a catholic country so the women will be virginal and pure
Morrissey: catholic girls are known far and wide for their abject lack of sluttiness

Morrissey: so dracula arrives in italy and meets this italian nobleman who has 4 beautiful daughters
Morrissey: and he's all ok traveling dracula you can sleep in my barn tonight, but don't touch my 4 beautiful virgin daughters
Morrissey: also there's 3 holes in my barn wall