Midnight Pals: The Kids Ain't Alright

TL Bodine: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight society, I call this the tale of children in peril
Stephen Gresham: no!
John Saul: YES!

Saul: i love stories with reckless child endangerment!
Barker: yeah that's true
Barker: hard to think of anyone who likes them more
Poe: except roald
Barker: yeah except roald

Roald Dahl: how many children die in this story
Dahl: oo i hope it's a lot
Dahl: nasty nasty little rotten children
Dahl: never do as they're told

Bodine: there's this poor couple and they have two children
Bodine: but they can't afford to keep them
Bodine: so they take them into the woods and abandon them
Barker: this sounds familiar
Angela Carter: shut up, let her cook

Bodine: so they abandon them in the woods
Bodine: but it turns out there's a whole society of feral children there
Bodine: cuz people just keep abandoning children there
Bodine: you know how it is

Bodine: people have a kid as an easter present and then 2 weeks later they realize it's actually too big a responsibility
Bodine: so they flush it down the toilet
Bodine: in the sewer, the kids grow to massive sizes
Bodine: it's a real problem

Bodine: what if an alien brood parasite took over your womb
Bodine: and you gave birth to an awful baby that gets bigger but never grows up?
Bodine: kind of like bobo and lil debbul from nothing but trouble

Bodine: now you're stuck with a weird baby that just grows and grows
Bodine: but it's still just a baby
Edward Gorey: beastly!

Bodine: that would sure test the limits of your selfless parental love, don't you think?
King: i was in that exact situation, actually
Bodine:
King: but i still love my large adult son owen
Bodine:
Bodine: that's not what i mean

Bodine: what if you were at camp and there was a monster?
RL Stine: classic premise, classic
Bodine: but here's the twist
Bodine: it was a fat camp
King: a fat camp??

King: boy, i don't know how i feel about this
King: maybe if it was a fat camp where fat boys lose weight and prove their worth
Bodine: the heroines are fat girls
King: oh i don't like that at all
King: there's no redemption for that

King: is the monster actually the health risks of obesity?
Bodine: what? no!
King: cuz you know
King: being fat is unhealthy

Bodine: actually it's about how a group of fat teens, underestimated by adults because of their size, use ingenuity and cunning to fight back and save themselves from being eaten by a monster
King:
King: ok yeah but you know being fat is unhealthy
Meg Elison: i am going to fucking kill you steve

King: why would anyone want to read a story about fat people?
King: i just don't get it
King: cuz being fat is unhealthy
King: especially for girls
Bodine: is he always like this?
Poe: yes pretty much