Midnight Pals: Anti-woke campfire

King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the clown that lived in the sewers
Dan Simmons: i've had enough of you and your wokescold cultural marxist oppression
King:
Simmons: help help i'm being oppressed by your wokescold cultural marxist oppression

Simmons: but now i've finally found a campfire for politically homeless free thinkers with maverick points of view
Simmons: and the most interesting thing about this anti-woke campfire
Simmons: is that its in a place where you wouldn't normally expect an anti-woke campfire

Simmons: no longer will I be forced to conform to your narrow-minded PC narrow mindedness
Simmons: i can give free rein to the dangerous thoughts that you blue-haired social warriors find so threatening
Simmons: thoughts like
Simmons: "won't someone rid me of this turbulent greta thunberg"

Simmons: goodbye forever, wokies! you won't be seeing me again!
Simmons: i'm off to a campfire where free thinking is celebrated
Lovecraft: wow! what's it like?
Simmons: oh it's so cool
Simmons: it's like if the thule society was populated by a bunch of tucker maxes

Lovecraft: can i come?
Simmons: hmmm i don't know
Simmons: are you a fearless truth teller unafraid to tweak the noses of the PC establishment?
Lovecraft: well
Lovecraft: i am racist against all minorities
Simmons: hmm
Simmons: you do make a strong case for membership

Simmons: sorry howard i've reviewed your application & i'm afraid i have to reject you from the anti-woke campfire
Lovecraft: what?! but why?
Simmons: your character witness says you're ONLY as racist as the average man of your time

Simmons: we're looking for people with exceptional achievements in racism
Simmons: some real gold star racists
Simmons: real innovators in the field of racism
Simmons: and, sorry, but this is some basic bitch racism
Lovecraft: i can change!
Simmons: sorry howard

Simmons: i was considering admitting you
Simmons: some of these racist bonafides seemed pretty convincing
Simmons: but then "deep cuts in a lovecraftian vein" added context
Lovecraft: ugh!! they're always adding context and ruining my fun!!
Lovecraft: curse that shifty Italian yegg!

[anti-woke campfire]
curtis yarvin: welcome to the anti-woke campfire
Yarvin: to prove your allegience to anti-woke, first you must give the osculum infame to this graven image of peter thiel
Yarvin: then you must forsake all worship of the anomalous woman greta thunberg

Big Ball Burritos: so then i realized if i work at the gas station, i can gas up my camaro for free
Roxxxane Mengele-von Ribbontropf: [rolling the worst joint you've ever seen in your life] that's so hot
Dan Simmons: finally! my intellectual peers!