Midnight Pals: Fandom

Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] BEHOLD!
King: the arch magus!
Barker: the arch magus!
Poe: the arch magus!
Lovecraft: the arch magus!
Koontz: the grand nagus!
Poe: no dean
Poe: that's not right
Poe: that's star trek
Moore: and that is exactly what i came to talk to you all about today

Moore: i have come down from the mountain to share the wisdom imparted to me by the cosmos
King: guys! the arch magus is going to share some wisdom!
King: everyone be quiet, we gotta hear this!
Moore: fandom
Moore: is crap
King:
King: oh well i don't care much for that wisdom at all

Moore: your fannish obsessions have blinded you to the truth!
Moore: fandom is bad
Diane Duane: even star trek?
Moore: even star trek!
Chuck Wendig: even star wars?
Moore: even star wars!
Lafcadio Hearn: even anime?
Moore: ESPECIALLY anime!

Moore: fools! can you not see how your fannish obsessions choke art & culture?
Moore: it will make it so that you throw a halloween party & play an anime theme song playlist bc you believe halloween songs don't exist!
King: that seems like an awful specific complaint
King: did that happen to you?

Moore: fandom makes you obsessed with cataloging and blinds you to the truths of this world!
Moore: so that you feel no shame when you write really really stupid letters asking 'could dr manhattan beat up the flash?'
King: now that you bring that up that's a really good question
Moore: NO ITS NOT!!!

King: so could dr manhattan beat up the flash?
Poe: he could but he'd have to catch him first
Lovecraft: yeah but dr manhattan exists in all realities so it would be really easy for him to catch the flash
King: UNLESS
King: we're in one of the realities where he FAILS to catch the flash
Moore: UGH

Moore: first of all, foolish mortals!
Moore: THERE IS NO REALITY IN THE MULTIVERSE IN WHICH DR MANHATTAN WOULD FAIL TO CATCH THE FLASH!!
Moore: SO SPEAKETH THE ARCH MAGUS!
King: the arch magus!
Poe: the arch magus!
Lovecraft: the arch magus!
Barker: the arch magus!
Koontz: the grand nagus!

Moore: and secondly your obsession has blinded you to the real questions of our times
Moore: why ask foolish questions about superheroes
Moore: when you could be asking the deep questions of life?
Moore: like what if dorothy gale fucked the wizard of oz?
Moore: and also the wizard was a very old man

Moore: i mean like really old
Moore: since a man hits is sexual peak around, oh, 85-100
Moore: you might not like it but that's just science
Moore: so speaketh the