Midnight Pals: The Devil's Cat

William W Johnstone: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the devil's cat
Johnstone: don't like it? don't worry
Johnstone: in the time that it took you to read that sentence, i just wrote 8 new books
Johnstone: and some of them are about COWBOYS!

Johnstone: now some writers feel the need to orient the reader, so that they're not immediately lost on the first page
Johnstone: those writers are cowards

Johnstone: brad and janet are driving to Nebraska, because the devil might be there
Johnstone: turns out the devil is not there
Johnstone: "brad" says janet
Johnstone: "yes, janet?" says brad
Johnstone: "let's try Oklahoma" says janet
Johnstone: "okay" says brad

Johnstone: so they go to Oklahoma
Johnstone: but the devil's not there
Johnstone: "brad" says janet
Johnstone: "yes janet?" says brad
Johnstone: "let's try Kansas" says janet
Johnstone: "okay" says brad

Johnstone: now it might seem like they're just randomly driving across the Midwest
Johnstone: but actually janet is a witch
Johnstone: but its okay, she's accepted Jesus as her lord and savior
Johnstone: so she's one of the good ones

Johnstone: "hey brad" says janet
Johnstone: "do you remember when we fought that coven of satan worshippers and then defeated the devil?"
Johnstone: brad remembered the memory, a thought that assaulted the brains of all who thought it
Johnstone: "yes" says brad
Johnstone: "i do" says brad

Johnstone: you know, you guys have been awful quiet
Barker: oh you're doing great
Barker: keep going
Barker: don't even think about us
Barker: we're just spellbound

Johnstone: so they're driving along and they see a dog
Koontz: a dog?!?!?!
Poe: hey, i thought this was about the devil's CAT
Johnstone: you can't talk about the devil's cat
Johnstone: without talking about God's dog
Koontz: [vigorously nodding] yes yes absolutely right
Koontz: now THIS is literature!

Johnstone: "look brad" says janet "a dog!"
Johnstone: "yes" says brad. "I see it."
Koontz: [mumbling under breath] pleaseadoptthedogpleaseadoptthedog
Johnstone: "we should adopt the dog" says janet
Koontz: YES!

Johnstone: and brad says
Koontz: oh oh please say yes!!!
Johnstone: "yes" says brad
Koontz: BEST STORY EVER!!!
Barker: you got some real bang on story criteria there dean
Poe: clive leave him alone
Poe: you know dean likes his dogs