Midnight Pals: Roast

Laird Barron: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of more dark
Barron: it's about this reclusive horror writer called Tom L
Barron: no wait that's too obvious
Barron: let's just call him T Ligotti

Barron: anyway, this horror writer, Tom L, everyone thinks he's so great
Barron: but actually he's a totally dorkwad poser
Barker: ah ha ha ha!
Barker: oh man i love a good roast!
Barker: he's really got your number, tom!
Thomas Ligotti: hm

King: how do you know it's about tom?
Barker: how do i know...
Barker: laird, tell us more about Tom L
Barron: he's a reclusive horror writer who loves to write about puppets
King: i just don't see it

Barker: hey tom how do you like getting roasted?
Ligotti: i neither like nor dislike it
Ligotti: events transpire regardless of human desire
Barker:
Barker: that sound exactly like something that Tom L would say

Barron: so i was at this horror event with my good friend John L
Barron: who was wearing his "women want me, fish fear me hat" and his rubber waders
John Langan: [wearing "women want me, fish fear me" hat and rubber waders] that's nothing like me

Barron: hold on john i didn't say it was you
Barron: it could be any John L
Barron: just cuz i happened to describe you with uncanny accuracy doesn't mean the character is actually intended to be you
Langan:
Langan: ok then
Barron: anyway then John L went on this real boring lecture about fishing

Barron: you know who else was at this event? that clueless boomer dad Steve K
King: haha this steve k sounds like a real loser!
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Poe:
Barker:
Barker: steve-
Poe: no no let him figure it out for himself
Poe: he'll get there in the end

King: hey wait a second!! are these characters based on us?
Barron: i didn't say that
Barron: if you recognize asshole Clive B or lovable dog-obsessed doofus Dean K as eerily reminiscent of people in your life, well, that's just an amazing coincidence
King: that is a pretty amazing coincidence

King: laird, you can't just do that!
King: you can't just make up fictional characters based on famous horror writers and then just put silly words in their mouths to make fun of them!
Barron:
Barker:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Barron: damn how meta can you get