Midnight Pals: Consequences

[at JK Rowling's Scottish castle]
JK Rowling's agent: hey joanne it's me your agent
Agent: Lydia
Agent: i haven't appeared in a while so readers might not remember me
Agent: i am a midnight pals totally original character, do not steal

Agent: so how you been doing? working on a new book?
JK Rowling: actually i've been bussssy
agent: oh yeah? with the transphobia?
Rowling: with the transssphobia, yesss
Rowling: itsss like a full time job

Rowling: i started an international tranvestigation into an Algerian boxer
agent:
agent: ah ok um
agent: any particular reason why?
Rowling: to get her killed
agent: ok um
agent: again, any particular reason why?

Rowling: anyway, since this Algerian boxer situation went down
Rowling: I've been waiting here, right next to this cobweb-strewn telephone, for the Olympic committee to call me up with an apology
Rowling:
Rowling:
Rowling: [checking watch]
Rowling:

agent: so about this whole Algerian boxer situation
agent: it turns out she's suing you
Rowling: that can't be right
Rowling: i'm JK Rowling
Rowling: i sue PEOPLE
Rowling: people don't sue me

agent: no no it turns out that the legal system works both ways
Rowling: what?
agent: yeah i know i was surprised too
Rowling: i'm pretty sure that's not how it works
Rowling: check it again
agent: I've already checked it 3 times
Rowling: CHECK IT AGAIN


Rowling: ssso she think she can sue me for cyberharrassment huh?
Rowling: get my lawyer on the phone! the best lawyer money can buy!
agent: do you mean Allison bailey again
Rowling: NO i want to win this time

Rowling: don't worry i have a full proof plan to win in court!
Rowling: i'm going to challenge the judge to point to a specific tweet where i called Imane Khelif a man
Rowling: if you look carefully, you'll notice i never once use the word man
agent: what about that gigantic banner currently flying from the ramparts of your Scottish castle
Rowling: that's a typo