Midnight Pals: More Usherin

Mike Flanagan: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the fall of the house of usher
[several hours later]
Flanagan: ocean acidification, opioid addiction, postmaster louis dejoy
Flanagan: and microplastics! don't even get me started on that!

Mike Flanagan: Figures published reveal US beekeepers lost an estimated 48% of their honey bee colonies in 2022-23
Flanagan: this is the second highest death rate on record after 2020-21's 51%
Flanagan: worldwide, honey bee populations have been decimated by pesticides, pollution, and climate change
Flanagan: speaking of, let's talk about climate change...
King: hey do you think you might be wrapping this up soon

King: what story was he telling?
Poe: the house of usher
King: still?
Poe: yeah he just got sidetracked on this bee thing
Flanagan: well i guess SOME of us just don't care about colony collapse disorder
Poe: no mike i didn't say that
Flanagan: it's a real issue you know

Poe: of course mike we all acknowledge that
Flanagan: Poe's pretty good and all
Flanagan: but if there's one thing that his stories lack
Flanagan: it's really long monologues
Barker: oh yeah Poe be like that
Barker: Poe the famed writer of SHORT stories
Barker: the key word being short

Flanagan: war, famine, plague, so much evil in the world
Flanagan: we're all guilty
Koontz: even me?
Flanagan: no dean not you
Flanagan: you're a good boy
Flanagan: you alone of all the boys are the goodest boy
Flanagan: the love you have for dogs and the good that you've done for dogs will echo through the ages

Flanagan: hey i've got an adaptation of your story too shirley
Shirley Jackson: [mumbles]
Flangan: it stars approximately 500 identical sad-faced brunettes
Flanagan: all bein' mopey
Flanagan: and occasionally someone makes the Ring face