Midnight Pals: Castle Freak

Stuart Gordon: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the castle freak  
King: is this a freak who lives in a castle or someone who's a freak for castles?  
Gordon:  
Gordon: what do you think steve  
King: probably the first thing?  
Gordon: obviously

Gordon: so this castle freak  
Barker: wait i also have a question  
Barker: a question about the castle freak  
Gordon: what do you want to know about the castle freak?
Poe: can you all stop saying castle freak  
Barker: no

Barker: what kind of freak is this castle freak?  
Barker: is it, like, someone who, say, has a whole room full of stale candy?  
Barker: or a four foot fence?  
Gordon: no it's the good kind of freak  
Gordon: like a mutant  
Barker: now we're talkin!

Gordon: so this american family inherits an italian castle  
Gordon: but what they don't know  
Gordon: is that this castle comes with a freaky little surprise  
Barker: is the surprise a castle freak?  
Gordon:  
Gordon: yes but  
Gordon: don't give it away

Gordon: don't give away the ending!  
Barker: feel like the title already gave it away  
Gordon: what?  
Gordon: how does the title give away that there's a freak in the castle?  
Barker: the title is "castle freak"  
Gordon:  
Gordon: that's a typo

Gordon: so this american family now owns a castle with a castle freak  
Gordon: grit eatin' freak  
Gordon: scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique  
Gordon: he's a one man, no gut, losing streak  
Gordon: nothin' but a castle freak

Gordon: then a prostitute mysteriously disappears from the neighboring town  
Gordon: and the cops are really intent on finding her  
Barker: phhbt i could buy a castle freak  
Barker: but this is getting kinda unrealistic

Gordon: but picture this  
Gordon: the dad is played by a young jeffrey combs  
Gordon: in his joel hodgson era