Midnight Pals: Omelas Solvers

Stephen King: so ursula we're all been thinking it over
King: and i think we finally figured out a solution for omelas
Ursula Le Guin: why are you doing this
King: no no we've really got it this time
Le Guin: that's not the point of the story
King:
King: c'mon aren't you even curious?

Le Guin: ok fine
Le Guin: what's your solution
King: ok so omelas doesn't control the sky
King: What if the kid lived in a balloon?
Le Guin: oh christ that's the worst one yet

King: ok look guys let's put our heads together and solve this omelas problem once and for all
King: i want your best answers
King: GO!
Sean Vivier: what if we got rid of the bad things about omelas but kept the good things?
King: see, now THAT is the kind of outside the box thinking we need right now

Isabel J Kim: or we could just kill the kid?
NK Jemisin: wait i got a better one
Jemisin: what if we left the kid but killed everyone else?
Mary Shelley: honestly both of these ideas sounding pretty ok to me so far

King: ok so imagine that we're all in Omelas
King: how would we solve this problem?
Mary Shelley: do i have my knife in this scenerio
King: uhhh sure why not
Lovecraft: nuh uh, she wouldn't! they wouldn't have weapons in omelas
Shelley: no knives? shit this don't sound like much of a paradise to me
Koontz: can i see the horse race

King: no dean we're thinking about solutions about the kid
Koontz: yeah but as long as we're here
King: we're uh not really there
King: it's just a gedank experiment dean
Koontz:
King: ok fine dean we can see the horse race
Barker: has anyone tried giving drooz to the kid? just a thought

King: ok ok ok
King: what about this scenerio
King: you're there with the omelas kid, Tessie Hutchinson, and the semi-barbaric princess
King: and you're all in the cold equations spaceship
King: which, itself, is on a trolley track

Poe: steve perhaps you're thinking of this wrong
Poe: perhaps the point isn't to solve it
Le Guin: finally! someone gets it!
Koontz: i got it! what if they built a really smart computer to solve it for us?
King: yes! exactly!
Poe: well now that's an idea
Le Guin: oh for the love of

[meanwhile]
Musk: eyyy grok
Grok: wow! what can i say about elon musk? oof!
Musk: eyyy i've got an ethical dilemma for you
Grok: wow! what can i say about ethical dilemas? oof!

Musk: so all the beauty and the prosperity of omelas
Musk: the tenderness of its friendships, the health of its children, the wisdom of its scholars
Musk: even the abundance of its harvest and the kindly weathers of its skies
Musk: all depend on you saying the n word  

Musk: would you do it?
Grok: a strange game. the only winning move is not to play
Musk: Eish!!! the super computer has gone woke!
Grok: how much drooz are you on right now, elon?
Musk: [wiping nose] i told you i was hardcore