Where are new videos?

The videos don’t come out and it’s bad, bad for me, for my channel, for my earnings. And all because I have a strong apathy for this. I've burned out for the umpteenth time. I sit down to edit and just can’t bring myself to finish the video. I see this as a very serious problem, as I have reached a dead end. I cannot say that I am stopping my activities, but all the events and difficulties that occur have given me such an effect that I cannot get out of it all. I started making special episodes for my Patreon channel a long time ago, but I have difficulties with the work because, in addition to this, I need to make regular videos. I’ve almost finished 2 episodes, but I can’t post them yet, or rather I don’t want to, because I want to make all the episodes in the same style and publish them with pride. When I watch these 2 episodes, I think “Maybe I should watch this on a big screen, with powerful speakers, because everything looks so good...”, I did such a good job on the editing and music that I think it would be worthy. But the despair from the views and support on YouTube does not leave me. This is why I have no motivation to make a video. I've visited a lot of interesting places, but people are so focused on Chornobyl that people still ask me for these videos.

This is probably all because I perceive myself as disabled more than before. In my videos, I no longer see or feel the energy that I had 3 years ago. Now I’m like an old grandfather, I visit places and get tired many times more, because of this I can’t joke or get out of the situation like before. My condition does not suit me as much as possible, perhaps because I cannot get used to my treatment.

If we talk about something good, I’m already finishing the design of my photo book from Chornobyl. I found so many photographs from all my hikes that I was very surprised. I plan to make several such books from different places, “especially from special episodes, there are very serious places and very good photos.” If I return to my writing, maybe I’ll make a book of my exploits or adventures.

Also, I was on a short trip where I climbed a mountain. And I can say that for me now this is an achievement, I was able to overcome myself and go hiking. In fact, I would start making such videos if I had the opportunity to travel quietly, but since I am now very dependent on my illegal channel, I need to at least do something stable there.

Well, in conclusion, I just want to say that I hope for the best and I plan to finish everything that I planned in advance. I look at everything optimistically, although there are such attacks. Thank you for your attention. Hope everyone is doing well.