AltF4 Chapter 13: Greed

...

Mina froze as her eyes widened and her mouth betrayed her first. “Yeah?” she said, automatically. Then she blinked, realised what she’d just answered, and immediately shook her head hard. “No- uh- you’re obviously exhaust-”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: SIR????? I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS
tv.dinner: MINA SAID ‘YEAH?’ ON REFLEX LMAOOOOO
pixx_aria: SHE AUTO-ACCEPTED LIKE IT WAS A MERCY TRADE WINDOW

“Tired,” Alt corrected. “Not drunk.” He tapped his temple with a finger. “Still the same functional asshole, don’t worry.”

Mina stared at him like that didn’t actually reassure her.

He said in response. “Just offering,” he added slowly. “You should take it while you can-”

“I don’t want you waking up annoyed over it,” she answered back carefully.

“Eh.” He shrugged into the pillow. “How annoyed can I be?” The words were coming out too fast for his brain to process. Then he paused, tried to think of something, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “...Think you’ll be more annoyed with yourself if you walk away right now.”

He felt it as he said it- the fatigue system actually, truly, easing off in real time.

The comfort hit back harder than earlier as he let out a contented sigh and briefly closed his eyes.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: Ok either I am delirious or he’s delirious and suddenly... like... cuddly.
tv.dinner: I think we’re all delirious
cheap_aviators: I am here, I am here- what’s- when’d Mina get here- WHAT IS THIS ENERGY?
pixx_aria: he tapped his temple like ‘brain still installed’ HELP
ratmilk: he said it like limited-time merch. ‘cuddle (?) drop expires soon’
goblinresin: I think Alt’s bargaining with his own personality in real time??
npc_karen: THAT IS EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL AND I SUPPORT IT
pixx_aria: FOR THE SLEEPERS WHO JUST GOT HERE WE ARE WATCHING ALT DO A ROMCOM SPEEDRUN BY ACCIDENT ITS EITHER GONNA BE HOT OR UNHINGED

Mina’s voice opened his eyes back up, “...You sure?” she asked, and the hope in it was almost worse than the flirting.

Alt nodded once. “Doubt I’ll be annoyed,” he said, and to his own surprise, he meant it.

Mina hesitated like she was waiting for his punchline.

He didn’t have one.

He watched her nod slowly, circle the bed, and climb up on the other side-

Alt blinked as she pulled the blanket on the side over him.

She paused at the edge of the bed and smiled at him. “I’ll see you later, Alt.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘...you sure?’ OH MY GOD THAT TONE. THAT HOPE. I’M GOING TO DIE.
ratmilk: that ‘you sure’ is the real boss fight.
npc_karen: THE BLANKET TUCK. THE BLANKET TUCK IS CRAZY.
ratmilk: she just tucked in the world’s most dangerous gremlin like he’s a toddler
pixx_aria: ‘I’ll see you later, Alt.’ I AM UNWELL.
tv.dinner: that’s not flirting that’s domesticity.
cheap_aviators: she smiled like she’s trying to store the moment for when he goes cold again.

And then, just like that, he watched her get back off the bed.

The clarity hit him at the exact wrong moment.

This was it.

This was the closest he’d get to actually letting his guard down with her- one exhausted moment where he didn’t have the energy to perform.

“Mina.”

She stopped at the door and turned her head over her shoulder.

Alt stared at her for a beat, then said slowly, “I don’t think I’m going to pull another day like today.”

He watched her fully turn towards him, slightly confused.

“This is the closest I’ll come to admitting it.”

She frowned at him, not getting what he meant-

“Come here,” he decided to just say it.

Mina’s eyebrows lifted. “Alt, you need some sleep. You don't sound like-”

“No,” Alt cut her off. He pushed himself up slightly and the fatigue system complained at it. “No, no. If I can be greedy with Kayaba fucking Akihiko,” he continued, “I can be greedy with a girl that wants me to be.” He managed to let out in one breath before his brain could actually get in the way.

[Twitch Chat]
tv.dinner: this is either ‘get out’ or ‘stay’ and i hate both outcomes
bag_of_meat: wtf is happening
cheap_aviators: Mina’s confusion is so real. like ‘sir are you dying or flirting’
npc_karen: he just put ‘antagonizing god’ and ‘wanting affection’ on the same board.
ratmilk: ‘be greedy with a girl that wants me to be’ BROOOOOOOO
pixx_aria: I AM GOING TO EAT THE WALLS

Mina opened and closed her mouth as she processed his words.

Alt let out a sigh and tipped his head back at the ceiling. “If for nothing else,” he went on, “I just... I just wanna talk to someone normal. Someone that’s not a dev, or the real world, or enabling Beta Testers.” He paused and let out a snort. ‘Someone that wants me to make movie night a part of the Death Game.” He paused for a beat before he finally, dragged his eyes back to her. “It has been a long day and I- I really wanna talk to you, because you’re the only one here that’s not going to ask me about smithing, or manga, or- or whatever,”

“Alt- Alt, you need-”

Alt shook his head once. “No.” His voice hesitated. “I want to pretend for one moment that I don’t have to figure out if I’m walking into a landmine.” He held her gaze. “Just- come here.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: SHE’S BUFFERING. SHE’S LITERALLY BUFFERING.
ratmilk: Mina’s brain just did the Windows shutdown sound
goblinresin: ‘normal’ = ‘won’t ask me about my war crimes’ apparently
ratmilk: ‘not a dev, or the real world, or enabling beta testers’ LMAO HE SAID IT LIKE IT’S A SUPPORT GROUP ROSTER
pixx_aria: BRO HE’S EXHAUSTED-EXHAUSTED. not meme exhausted.
npc_karen: he just listed ‘beta testers’ like they’re a drug habit
cheap_aviators: ‘Someone that wants me to make a movie night a part of the Death Game.’ HELP

God that hopeful look hurt to stare at.

By all accounts he sounded deranged- and here she was still-

“...You sure?” she asked again.

Alt nodded into the pillow, and spoke, his voice muffled, “SAO counts lying on a bed as ‘rest.’” He lifted one hand and waggled it vaguely. “It’s already clearing the mental fog. Kinda.” He paused, and let out shrug. “Enough.”

She took another second anyway before she nodded, the hopeful look on her face rising. She walked back over and sat on the bed beside him, crossed her legs and put her hands on her knees.

“...Okay,” she said, a tone of surprise in her voice. “What... what do you wanna talk about?”

Alt stared at her for a long moment. “Why do you like me?”

Mina blinked- confused at the question for a moment before she frowned at him.

His gaze dwindled, just as she started to answer, down towards- Alt lifted a hand. “Hang on- sorry,” he said flatly as he shook his head. “Your boobs are staring at me. Can’t focus.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: ‘clearing the mental fog. kinda.’ he sounds like he’s fighting off a hangover from capitalism
pixx_aria: ‘Why do you like me?’ OH. OH WE’RE DOING THIS.
ratmilk: Man just opened a domain expansion AGAINST his own self-respect- WILD
npc_karen: he couldn’t hold sincerity for ONE second
cheap_aviators: ‘Your boobs are staring at me’ SIR THAT’S NOT HOW EYES WORK
npc_karen: he really said ‘i want feelings’ and then immediately filed a boob complaint
tv.dinner: Mina asked him what he wants to talk about and he answered ‘titties’ with full confidence

Mina let out a huh at that- processed his words, and to his surprise, let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god,” she muttered. “You’re still you.”

Alt watched her, amused, as she huffed and pulled the blanket off him and covered up most of her upper body. “Better?” she asked, dryly.

Alt started to nod, only to immediately pause. “..Nope. Now your face is distracting me.”

Mina to his amusement took that a lot less well- judging by the fact she went slightly red. She huffed louder this time and just fully cocooned herself in the blanket. “Now?” She asked, muffled slightly, evidently oblivious to how adorable that was.

“Now it’s just funny,” he deadpanned.

A single beat passed before the woman dropped the blanket off herself and let out a huff before she crossed her arms under her chest a little too fast- “Okay what-”

“Jiggle,” Alt said out loud, cutting her off, on pure instinct.

Mina bit her lip. “You are so lucky,” she hissed, “I like you.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: she just confirmed ‘boob joke = he’s stable’ and i hate that it’s true
npc_karen: Mina’s baseline for ‘he’s okay’ is ‘he’s being an idiot’... girl...
cheap_aviators: SHE PULLED THE BLANKET LIKE ‘CONTAIN THE PROBLEM’ LMAO
goblinresin: girl said ‘i’m patching the bug’
pixx_aria: ‘Nope. Now your face is distracting me.’ BRO?????
ratmilk: that’s not rizz that’s reckless driving
npc_karen: he just upgraded from boob commentary to face commentary. progression system unlocked.
npc_karen: she’s doing ‘hide from predator vision’ but the predator is her own crush
pixx_aria: ‘Now it’s just funny’ SIR YOU DID THIS
pixx_aria: ‘JIGGLE.’ -AltF4, 2022
ratmilk: Context objectively makes that quote worse.
npc_karen: HE SAID IT OUT LOUD LIKE A SPELL

Alt’s mouth twitched upwards. “I know, right?” he snorted, and then pushed himself up, back hitting the headboard for a second. “I got an idea.” He reached a hand out towards her- she widened her eyes slightly and uncrossed her arms when his hand reached her neck- he carefully pulled her closer towards him- the fact she leaned made it easier- towards his chest, wrapped an arm around her back and dropped his chin on top of her head.

If he can’t see her, he can’t be distracted!

His thought process was absolutely idiotic.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘I know, right?’ HE’S SO SMUG ABOUT IT
ratmilk: every time he says ‘idea’ a government intern faints
cheap_aviators: SIR???
pixx_aria: CHIN ON HEAD. CHIN. ON. HEAD.
npc_karen: he just turned her into a pillow and himself into a problem
cheap_aviators: man really said ‘disable the boob renderer’
ratmilk: congrats, he solved horny by downloading affection
tv.dinner: this is what happens when a war criminal discovers coping mechanisms and it’s advanced HAND HOLDING

He shifted himself and her and sank sideways into the pillow while his other hand slid into her hair, idly combing through it. “This works.” He deadpanned and waited for a beat. “You good?”

Mina made a sound that was half squeal and half yes.

Alt snorted, “Talk about equivalent exchange,” he muttered. “I really just transferred the problem straight to you.”

Mina inhaled, exhaled, then muffled into his shirt. “Give me a minute...” Then, after a second, she processed his words. “...Was that an FMA reference?”

Alt blinked down at her hair. “What’s FMA?”

Mina’s voice came out deadpan into his chest. “...Nevermind.” A beat passed. “I can’t believe you hugged me first, willingly.” She deadpanned as she snaked her arms around him.

“It has been a long day.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: THE HAIR COMBING????? HELLO?????
npc_karen: SIR THAT IS AFFECTION. THAT’S ILLEGAL ON THIS CHANNEL
pixx_aria: THAT SQUEEL- SHE’S GONE. SHE’S ACTUALLY GONE.
cheap_aviators: she’s buffering. let her buffer.
goblinresin: ‘Was that an FMA reference?’ SHE’S STILL FUNCTIONING ENOUGH TO NERD-CHECK HIM
cheap_aviators: she’s hugging him and still doing media literacy. Queen.
pixx_aria: ‘What’s FMA?’ BROTHER. BROTHER PLEASE.
ratmilk: this man is allergic to culture unless it’s weaponised
eggmanreturns: ....I refuse to believe he isn’t gaslighting us- WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU GET EQUIVELENT EXCHANGE???
ratmilk: we got bigger problems then that rn eggs
npc_karen: this is the only currency she actually wanted and she just got paid

...

“Okay,” he asked again. “Why do you like me? Like... actually.”

She shifted under his arms at that. “Alt,” she started. “You want my experience with guys as a whole?”

...That wasn’t going to bode well was it?

“...I’m guessing your DMs were a minefield?”

She snorted at that “Yeah, I am pretty sure that applies to everyone out there.”

Pity, he never got those dms- would’ve been fun fucking with ‘em.

Mina added on, quieter- and a little more muffled. "I’m new to this. Like- new-new.” She sighed. “Not like ‘I’ve never spoken to a guy.’ I mean... I’ve like gone on dates. Plenty. But nothing ever lasted long enough to get past... uh first base.”

He never even reached that.

He really should’ve gone out of his room more often.

“Because it was always some version of the same problem.”

Oh shit.

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: everyone behave.
ratmilk: yep...
tv.dinner: ‘DMs were a minefield?’ accurate guess, wrong decade
npc_karen: ‘I’m new to this. Like- new-new.’ ...oh shit
pixx_aria: that line is sad sad
cheap_aviators: this about to get uncomfortable real fucking fast huh.

“Let’s see... We’ll start with the basics.” She deadpanned into his chest. “There’s the guys that think a first kiss is a free ticket for more.” Mina’s voice went flat. “Like they lean in for a kiss- and you lean in because you’re feeling the moment, and suddenly their hands are trying take a cruise through your shirt.”

...Starting off... strong.

“And then the opposite,” she continued. “The guys that freeze the moment you take the lead. Like... I lean in first, and their brain bluescreens, and then they get mad at me for it. Like I embarrassed them by not waiting for them.” She huffed. “As if I didn’t just do them a favour.”

“...In my defence, maybe wait-” He deadpanned. “I wouldn’t get mad at you leading, I’d just treat it like an attack if it came out of nowhere.”

“...Oh.” Mina muttered at that and tightened her hands around him. “...Good to know you’re thinking about that.”

...He was going to fire his brain for gross negligence.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ...oh my god
ratmilk: yeah. okay. we’re here here.
npc_karen: ‘cruise through your shirt’ ooh I got flashbacks from that one
pixx_aria: ‘mad at me for it’ - the solution is to kick them in their brain. Dealer’s choice on which one.
tv.dinner: Alt... do NOT do a joke right now
ratmilk: ‘in my defence, maybe wait-’ BRO
npc_karen: Oh. Didn’t- thought there’d be a punchline.
pixx_aria: ‘good to know you’re thinking about that’ ...Like, Yeah actually- I’d be fucking ecstatic

Mina thankfully continued on. “Then there’s the ones that don’t get a date- that get mad when you tell them you’re not interested. Or you’re not interested enough. And suddenly you’re a bitch. Or you’re ‘playing games.’ Or you’re ‘leading them on’ because you had the audacity to laugh at a joke and exist in the same area code- those ones love spreading rumours.”

...If ha ha’s were a sign of interest to him, he would’ve asked out half his school.

He processed the rumours just as Mina added deadpan- “I swear, if my school was to be believed, I’ve slept with half of the prefecture.”

She glanced up at him like she expected a reaction.

He just deadpanned in the same tone as her, “Busy schedule.” He sniffed. “I should’ve moved there.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: ‘you’re not interested’ becomes ‘you’re a bitch’ in 0.2 seconds. classic.
npc_karen: ‘not interested ENOUGH’ <- the entitlement slider has no max.
tv.dinner: ‘leading them on’ because she LAUGHED? bro i hate the planet
pixx_aria: ‘slept with half the prefecture’ SHE DROPPED THE NUKE SO CASUALLY
cheap_aviators: ‘Busy schedule.’ Nothing further your honour I am guilty of laughing.
npc_karen: i hate that i laughed.
tv.dinner: ‘I should’ve moved there’ SIR??????

That got a real laugh out of her.

“And the ones that got the most mad,” she eventually got back to her crisis of his gender, “were the ones who thought two dates meant sex.” She scoffed into his chest. “Like they’d invested. Like I was the stock and if I didn’t ‘pay out’ then I’d tricked them.” She swallowed once. “Those were the ones who spread rumours the fastest- sometimes they paid others to help them.” She paused. “Because it’s easier to call me a slut than admit they got told ‘no.’” Her hands loosened slightly, “Then there’s the ones who just want a Mina-sized notch on their belt- they hear you don’t wanna sleep around and treat it like a challenge.” She let out a breath through her nose. “Like I’m an achievement.”

She let out a long sigh. “Then there’s the starers-”

Oh nice, his category.

Felt good to be included.

“The ones who can’t stop staring and pretend it’s a compliment.” Mina’s tone went mocking. “And the ones who spend so much effort not staring that they can’t hear a single thing I say.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: OH SHE’S GOING IN. SHE’S PULLING RECEIPTS FROM HELL.
ratmilk: ‘two dates meant sex’ = ‘i bought you a coffee now dispense panties’ syndrome
npc_karen: ‘invested’ PLEASE. this isn’t a gacha banner, it’s a human being.
pixx_aria: “if I didn’t ‘pay out’ then I tricked them” I’M GONNA CHEW GLASS
cheap_aviators: ‘sometimes they paid others to help them’ WHAT THE FUCK???
pixx_aria: BRO THEY WERE DOING PARTY QUEUES FOR MISOGYNY.
ratmilk: imagine hearing ‘i’m not a trophy’ and responding ‘bet.’
tv.dinner: ‘the ones who spend so much effort not staring they can’t hear’ <- THE ANTI-STARE STARE. the respectful pervert build.
ratmilk: ‘i’m being so gentlemanly’ while buffering and missing every word she says.

He wouldn’t have called it a compliment- he would’ve given her a thumbs up and kept staring until someone slapped him upside the head.

...It wasn’t even horny- boobs were just more interesting to him at fourteen than whatever was on the teacher’s board- unless the teacher’s board was a cup-size he could appreciate.

“And then your friends tell you your standards are too high- that you’re stuck-up or high maintenance.” Mina’s voice dwindled, “Like the problem is you- like- like the problem is you didn’t lower the bar far enough and you’re making all of them look bad.” She let out a sigh, her hands relaxing slightly. “So... you start finding the romance somewhere else. Anime. Stories. Games. Smut.” She said the last word like she was naming a food group.

Alt let out a slight chuckle at it. “You really like your smut huh?” He was pretty sure that’s the second time she’s mentioned it to him.

“Smut is cheaper than therapy,” Mina replied, then added with a grin, “and safer than my DMs.”

Alt turned his gaze down to the top of her head and deadpanned, “You really wanted to say ‘men’ there, didn’t you. Then remembered you were talking to one.”

Mina looked up slightly with the same grin. “One, you’re more of a war criminal in a mask. Two, I don’t want anything to do with safe with you.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘your standards are too high’ = translation: ‘please accept worse so we feel better’
ratmilk: they really said ‘lower the bar’ like it wasn’t already in hell
tv.dinner: her friends really hit her with ‘stop having self-respect, it’s inconvenient’
ratmilk: women get called ‘high maintenance’ for wanting men to behave like humans. news at 11
pixx_aria: she said ‘like the problem is you’ and i felt my soul leave my body- but like lowkey I AM THE PROBLEM IN MY FRIEND GROUP
npc_karen: ‘Anime. Stories. Games. Smut.’ THE FOOD PYRAMID OF SURVIVAL
tv.dinner: coping mechanism tier list: 1) fiction 2) more fiction 3) horny fiction
ratmilk: ‘Smut is cheaper than therapy and safer than my DMs.’ OHHHH THAT’S A LINE
tv.dinner: put that on a hoodie.
pixx_aria: ‘war criminal in a mask’ MA’AM YOU DID NOT HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THAT
npc_karen: she just called him a felony with legs and then flirted anyway
tv.dinner: ‘I don’t want anything to do with safe with you.’ HELLO??? THAT’S INSANE???
ratmilk: SHE SAID ‘NO SAFE’ LIKE SHE’S PICKING A DIFFICULTY SETTING
pixx_aria: she wants romance on HARD MODE with PERMADEATH. i’m going to scream COS ME TOOO

He coughed into her head.

That was unexpected.

Mina continued. “And then SAO happened.” She paused for a moment. “I saw the dev gameplays- all that ‘be someone else’ crap.” Her voice went low. “And for once I believed it. Not as a dating pool- just... I don’t know. I wanted to see if I could be someone else.”

Everyone did- he was pretty sure.

Everyone but him.

He joined it to be himself.

And he wanted to show that to anyone that tuned in.

Talk about luck- he got exactly what he wanted on a cursed platter.

“I made my avatar boring.” Mina’s voice brought him out of his musing. “I wanted friends- real ones- and maybe someone who actually listened. Who didn’t just... you know.” Mina huffed. “And then Kayaba turned it into a death game and ripped the mask off everybody anyway.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: she just pivoted from dating trauma to ‘capitalism sold me a personality reset’
npc_karen: ‘be someone else’ marketing is always a scam but THIS ONE CAME WITH MURDER
tv.dinner: she believed the ad copy and Kayaba responded with a guillotine
pixx_aria: she literally tried to opt out of being perceived and Kayaba said ‘nah, we’re doing character sheets now’
npc_karen: ‘someone who actually listened’ and she got... AltF4. cruel comedy.

He hadn’t thought of it from that point of view.

He hadn’t even bothered modifying his character on creation.

“I met a few people in here who offered to protect me- to take care of me.” Mina muttered with a strange tone to her voice. “And most of them took the rejection fine. I was careful- I didn’t want to lead anyone on- there’s no rules in this game... not like the real world.”

Alt had an annoying feeling that-

“Then I met you- that morning.” She finally looked up. “You didn’t care what I looked like.”

-his mind jolted to correcting the girl. “Correction, I thought you were hot- it just didn’t change the fact you were selling overpriced potions.”

She snorted at him for it. “Yeah, it was sobering- apparently looks can’t buy you everything- you didn’t even haggle properly- you didn’t even ask for anything but a discount- that’s all you cared about.”

Alt snorted, “I am a monster, yes.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘offered to protect me’ RED FLAG REED FUCKING FLAG in a death game that’s either sweet or a leash- wait hol’ up she’s cuddling the king of leashes
ratmilk: ‘take care of me’ = ‘please become my accessory’ 70% of the time, every time
cheap_aviators: ‘most of them took rejection fine’ the bar is in the basement and i’m still relieved
pixx_aria: no because saying ‘no’ in here is actually dangerous and she’s handling it like a pro
cheap_aviators: BRO IMMEDIATELY CORRECTED IT. HE COULDN’T LET ONE GREEN FLAG STAND
npc_karen: ‘correction, i thought you were hot’ THANK YOU FOR THE RECEIPTS YOUR HONOR
tv.dinner: he said ‘i’m not a saint, i’m just cheap’ like that makes it BETTER
cheap_aviators: ‘you didn’t even haggle properly’ MINA’S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY ‘bad consumer behavior’

She shook her head- which was admittedly distracting all things considered. “I was outside the safe zone when I saw one of them that day, they were walking towards me.” Her voice dropped. “I thought it was about to be awkward, so I did the normal thing- waved- said hello.” She paused for a moment. “And then there was a dagger going in and out of me.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: OH. oh my god.
ratmilk: ...
tv.dinner: she waved hello and got attempted murdered. i need to sit down.
goblinresin: i’m gonna throw up.
pixx_aria: i hope that guy’s monument entry is spelled wrong forever

...So much for conspiracy player-killer.

...It was depressing how one of the closest things there was to the real world, was an asshole who couldn’t take no for an answer and thought he could get away with murder.

“Next thing I know,” Mina continued, idly, “I’m somewhere else and you’re there, talking about something dumb.”

He was... manifesting a rare drop? He couldn’t actually remember.

“I’d never felt like I needed protection until that second- and whatever was going on with you... saved my life.” Mina swallowed. “So I followed you.”

She shifted slightly and he tapped her head to not keep doing that.

“You kicked me out of your bed- that was... surprising.” She ignored his complaints. “You made me rent my own room.”

Alt’s voice was flat. “Boots on pillow- I couldn’t let that slide.”

“...Aren’t you wearing boots in my bed right now?”

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mina snorted before she settled back to her ted-talk-from-hell. “...And I mean you know how that story goes.” She chuckled. “The one time I offer it, I get the door slammed in my face and Mercy posted through like it was spam mail.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: he’s not even wrong, he’s just annoying about it
pixx_aria: ‘do as i say not as i do’ BRO IS A DAD AT 19
cheap_aviators: ‘aren’t you wearing boots in my bed right now’ GET HIM
goblinresin: MINA WITH THE RECEIPTS LOL
npc_karen: ‘mercy posted through like spam mail’ I HATE HOW FUNNY THAT IS
tv.dinner: she offered her body and he sent her ‘SYSTEM UPDATE: YOU LIVE NOW’
pixx_aria: ‘talking about something dumb’ - WAIT WAIT WASNT THAT THE THE GET A RARE DROP MADE BY A BLACKSMITH MONOLOGUE!? HES A BLACKSMITH HIMSELF NOW! WTF!?

Alt let out a low hum into her hair- and ignored his chat spiralling into... whatever that was.

“Okay,” he said. “That was... not an answer.”

She turned up to stare at him with bafflement.

“Don’t get me wrong- it kinda makes my whole spiel to Diavel ten hours ago sound dumb- apparently the lack of options isn’t really a lack- it’s the same idiots, they just now occasionally come with knives.”

The bafflement was followed by squinting eyes.

“It doesn’t answer my question though- and I am not trying to push a button but basic human decency isn’t enough of a reason- not for me.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: he’s not wrong for asking, but jesus christ his delivery is
npc_karen: ‘that was not an answer’ BRO SHE JUST HANDED YOU HER ENTIRE DATING TRAUMA TREE
tv.dinner: he’s doing emotional HR paperwork like ‘yes yes noted, now give me bullet points’
cheap_aviators: ‘my spiel to Diavel eight hours ago’ HE’S KEEPING A TIMESHEET FOR FEELINGS
goblinresin: ‘same idiots, they just now occasionally come with knives’ THAT’S ONE HELL OF A LINE
npc_karen: she’s about to call him shallow and i support women’s rights and women’s wrongs
tv.dinner: ‘basic human decency isn’t enough’ is the most romantic insult i’ve ever heard

She processed that for a moment before she let out a long sigh. “Fine, objectively- you’re the scary-kinda-smart,” she said, poking him with a finger. “You’ve got so much confidence, even if you earn it, you can’t possibly have earned it all- like confidence to walk Elgar down on a hunch- A HUNCH-” She shook her head. “And you’re more unhinged than half the characters I’ve read about.” She paused, eyes flicking up at him, then added, “And you’re also tall.”

“Shallow.” He deadpanned immediately.

Mina didn’t even blink. “If you’re going to cite my boobs as a reason,” she said flatly, “I’m going to cite height.” A beat. “It’s only fair.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: SHE’S DOING A CHECKLIST??? THIS IS A JOB INTERVIEW FOR BOYFRIENDHOOD
ratmilk: ‘scary-kinda-smart’ is exactly the type that ruins your life, yeah
tv.dinner: ‘confidence you can’t possibly have earned’ MA’AM HE EARNED IT BY BEING A MENACE
cheap_aviators: ‘ELGAR DOWN ON A HUNCH’ Confidence?? that was psychopathic intuition
pixx_aria: ‘more unhinged than half the characters I’ve read’ SHE’S LITERALLY ADMITTING HER TYPE
ratmilk: Mina just self-reported: ‘I read garbage and it rewired me’
tv.dinner: ‘AND YOU’RE ALSO TALL’ LMAOOOOOOO
cheap_aviators: she hit him with the genetic DLC requirements
goblinresin: height being in the top 4 is crazy but also honest, respect
pixx_aria: ALT GOING ‘SHALLOW’ LIKE HE DIDN’T SAY ‘JIGGLE’ LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO
ratmilk: pot, meet kettle, both are horny
npc_karen: he called her shallow while actively being held hostage by boobs, ok king

“Fine,” he muttered. Then, because he was him, he threw some gasoline into the mix. “If I’d been in your class, I would’ve stared.”

Mina’s brows went up.

“Unbothered,” he added. “And I wouldn’t have stopped staring until you told me off or the principal did.”

Mina processed that- slowly- like she was reading the fine print of a cursed contract.

Alt hummed slowly. “But only for the first four lessons- I never made it to fifth- always left before then.”

She stared. “So you were a pervert and a delinquent.”

He nodded.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘IF I’D BEEN IN YOUR CLASS I WOULD’VE STARED’ SIR?????????
ratmilk: he really said ‘i’d be creepy’ like it’s a fun fact
npc_karen: finally, a confession the principal can work with
pixx_aria: ‘OR THE PRINCIPAL DID’ THIS MAN’S FLIRTING STYLE IS ‘GET REPORTED’
ratmilk: speedrunning a restraining order in high school any%
npc_karen: he’s describing harassment like it’s a hobby, i’m screaming
tv.dinner: ‘NEVER MADE IT TO FIFTH’ BRO WAS CUTTING SCHOOL LIKE IT WAS A BOSS FIGHT
goblinresin: bro’s attendance record is a war crime
npc_karen: “i’m a menace but only until lunch” is INSANE
goblinresin: he’s not beating the allegations in ANY timeline

Mina shifted at that and narrowed her eyes slightly. “Would you have asked me out if we were classmates?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because you saying no to me would’ve made sense and saying yes would’ve made you questionable- I’d rather stare at the pretty girl and her chest from far away until I’m told not to.”

Mina frowned, genuinely confused. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense,” he deadpanned back. “And I’m not better than the rest,” he added. “If I went on a few dates with you and found out you had strict standards, I’d have doubled down and played it out until you slept with me.”

Mina opened her mouth, closed it and opened it again. “...Then what?” she managed to ask.

Alt blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Would you move on to the next one?”

He blinked at her, confused. “Why? Would you have dumped me after sleeping with me?”

“Well- obviously not-”

“Well I’m not gonna do that.” He shrugged. “Why start over when you’re available?”

Mina went still. “...Alt,” she said slowly, “that’s just a normal committed relationship.”

“I am aware- it’s a normal relationship that started with an agenda,” he deadpanned. “I’m just saying there’s nothing special going on here.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: MINA JUST HIT HIM WITH ‘WOULD YOU HAVE ASKED ME OUT?’ LIKE A GUILLOTINE
tv.dinner: ALT’S GONNA FUMBLE THIS IN 4K, WATCH
cheap_aviators: he’s about to say something unhinged, i can feel it in my bones
tv.dinner: ‘WHY NOT?’ MINA PLEASE HE’S NOT SAFE TO QUESTION
goblinresin: his rizz is literally self-sabotage with confidence
ratmilk: this man just described ‘being creepy respectfully’ like it’s a virtue
npc_karen: long-range objectification build unlocked
pixx_aria: ‘THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE’ MINA SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE NEETS IN THE BACK
cheap_aviators: he’s so confident about being wrong it’s actually impressive
pixx_aria: ‘I’M NOT BETTER THAN THE REST’ BRO?? THAT WAS YOUR ONE CHANCE TO BE NICE
goblinresin: bro said ‘i’d persist until success’ like it’s a gacha banner
cheap_aviators: she’s trying to find out if he’s a ‘hit it and quit it’ guy or a ‘hit it and stay’ guy
ratmilk: OH MY GOD HE’S ACCIDENTALLY MONOGAMOUS
npc_karen: he'd just trip into a committed relationship like it was a pothole
tv.dinner: ‘WHY START OVER WHEN YOU’RE AVAILABLE’ SIRRRRRRR
cheap_aviators: “available”?????? you mean “a person”??????
goblinresin: he said it like she’s a subscription plan
goblinresin: Mina: ‘you mean... staying?’ Alt: ‘yeah why wouldn’t i’ BRO

Her eyes narrowed. “You’d have probably told me on date one that the main thing you were looking for was to sleep with me.”

“I would’ve told you that after you agreed to the date.”

Mina snorted. “Normal people don’t do that, Alt.”

“Yeah,” he replied, unbothered. “It’s hard to put it in practice- I’ve got this foolproof pick-up line that’d set the stage for it- and I always get the yes, but it just never leads to the date.”

Mina pulled herself away slightly. “Hit me with it- I’ll tell you why it wasn’t working.”

He nodded at that, pulled his head slightly back, looked her in the eye and- “Are you in a relationship?”

Mina processed it for a second, then covered her mouth and started laughing so hard her shoulders shook.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it off.” He snorted- and watched her disengage to start laughing more.

“You- You- You can make- make a whole economy- from- from scratch, in under a week! But you don’t know how- how to ask a girl out properly!?”

He watched her roll herself slightly from the laughter- it was very, very, distracting.

[Twitch Chat]
tv.dinner: ‘I WOULD’VE TOLD YOU AFTER YOU AGREED’ SIR THAT’S STILL DATE ONE
cheap_aviators: he really said ‘consent first, then i’m a menace’
goblinresin: his ethics are in the wrong folder but they exist somewhere
pixx_aria: ‘NORMAL PEOPLE DON’T DO THAT’ THANK YOU MINA, ADULT IN THE ROOM
ratmilk: ‘normal people’ in SAO is a hilarious phrase
npc_karen: Alt heard ‘normal’ and took it as a threat
tv.dinner: ‘IT’S HARD TO PUT IN PRACTICE’ BROTHER IT’S CALLED ‘BE CHARMING’
cheap_aviators: ‘i always get the yes’ = i always ask the wrong question
goblinresin: he’s about to reveal the most cursed pick-up line in history
npc_karen: this is relationship counseling in a death game, god help us
pixx_aria: ‘ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP?’ I JUST FUCKING SCREAMED
ratmilk: That is a background check sir
npc_karen: bro’s flirting like he’s screening applicants for a mortgage
tv.dinner: SHE’S ROLLING ON THE BEDDDDD
cheap_aviators: she’s actually dying. not even Kayaba did this to her
goblinresin: ‘YOU CAN BUILD AN ECONOMY BUT CAN’T ASK A GIRL OUT’ THAT’S THE WHOLE STORY LMAO

...

“Do you... can you see, like... you know,” she eventually started again after the laugher died out, “a future.”

Alt didn’t even pretend to think. “Yeah,” he said. “Obviously.” He shrugged. “You’re sweet, loyal, and hot. I can’t really ask for more.”

Mina blinked.

Then her mouth twitched. “...Well. I mean, you can,” she said, leaning up on one arm. “How do you know I’m loyal?”

“You’re an idiot,” he deadpanned and waited for a beat. “All idiots are loyal.”

“That’s... helpful,” Mina snorted. “That doesn’t feel- that can mean a lot of people.” She tilted her head at him. “If you had to give me a me reason.”

“You do what you’re told, I really like that in a partner.” He shrugged, never having had one.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: SHE SAID ‘A FUTURE’ LIKE SHE’S APPLYING FOR A MORTGAGE WITH HIM
ratmilk: this is her being brave as hell and him being... Alt
npc_karen: ‘SWEET, LOYAL, HOT’ THAT’S THE MOST BOY CHECKLIST EVER
goblinresin: he just listed her like a build summary
npc_karen: ‘HOW DO YOU KNOW I’M LOYAL’ GIRL IS AUDITING HIS LOGIC
pixx_aria: ‘YOU’RE AN IDIOT’ ALT PLEASE
ratmilk: that’s his love language unfortunately
cheap_aviators: he just invented the dumbass devotion theory
pixx_aria: ‘GIVE ME A REASON’ SHE WANTS A REAL ONE, STOP BEING A GREMLIN
tv.dinner: ‘YOU DO WHAT YOU’RE TOLD’ BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
npc_karen: ‘I REALLY LIKE THAT IN A PARTNER’ SIR THIS IS A LIVE STREAM

She immediately flushed at that. “I- uh-” She groaned at him. “I can’t exactly deny that but no, not enough. Try again.”

Alt let out a sigh and decided to hit the basics. “Men are simple,” he said. “Ass, chest, and willing are like eighty percent of what we want.”

Mina covered her face for a moment. “...Last twenty percent?”

Cute, she thought there was saving that answer.

“A girl worth fighting for.”

Mina stared at him for exactly three seconds. “...Did you just quote Mulan to my face?”

“Mushu is the greatest character to ever exist in media.” He deadpanned.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: SHE BLUSHED. SHE BLUSHED. CONFIRMED CRIT.
ratmilk: man just accidentally hit ‘domination kink’ and now she’s buffering
tv.dinner: ‘ASS, CHEST, AND WILLING’ SIR?????
pixx_aria: ‘LAST TWENTY PERCENT?’ SHE’S STILL TRYING TO FIND HIS HEART LMAO
ratmilk: she really asked for the DLC content
npc_karen: Mina is trying SO HARD to get a serious answer and he threw a cartoon dragon at her
tv.dinner: DID HE JUST GO SOFT?? DID HE JUST GO DISNEY??
cheap_aviators: i will defend Mushu with my LIFE, alt can have this one
npc_karen: finally a take i can sign off on
tv.dinner: he dropped a legendary line then hid behind Eddie Murphy
eggmanreturns: Disney rizz in a death game is criminally effective
goblinresin: mushu walked so alt could run his economy
bag_of_meat: ‘greatest character’ bro has never met Uncle Iroh and it shows
ratmilk: BAG STOP, WE ARE NOT STARTING A CIVIL WAR IN A DEATH GAME
pixx_aria: too late. Mushu solos the verse.

Mina gave him a disbelieving chuckle. “...Okay,” she said. “What makes me a girl worth fighting for then?”

Alt made a small motion with his hand, “I already told you that-”

“Not enough,” Mina cut in immediately. “Try again.”

Alt’s eyebrows rose. “You say that like I have to convince you this relat-”

“I want you to anyway,” she cut him off. Then she pointedly stared down at herself. “And two out of three of those things I could pay for if I didn’t have them. And ‘willing’ is a personal choice.” She paused. “Give me something else.”

Alt let out a breath and turned to stare at the ceiling. “...You’re smart?”

“Try again.”

“You’re short-”

“A lot of girls are.”

He turned to stare at her again for this one. “...You’re pur-” He choked. “Nope, can’t do it.”

Mina’s eyes widened both amused and somehow offended.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘WHAT MAKES ME WORTH FIGHTING FOR’ MINA IS COLLECTING HIS SOUL IN A JAR
ratmilk: she is not letting him get away with a Disney line and nothing else
npc_karen: ‘TWO OUT OF THREE I COULD PAY FOR’ Sheesh. Sometimes you really gotta talk to Alt using Alt words
npc_karen: ‘YOU’RE SMART?’ LMAO HE SAID IT LIKE A QUESTION ON A QUIZ
tv.dinner: she hit him with ‘try again’ like he rolled a 2
ratmilk: she wants a custom compliment. no copy-pasta romance allowed.
goblinresin: Mina: ‘tell me something real’ Alt: ‘i’d rather die’
pixx_aria: I like how we all just collectively ignored that last one.
cheap_aviators: Ay, look if Alt ain’t willing to drop that- the fuck do you take us for???

Alt sighed, then, because he was Alt, decided to dig the hole deeper. “Besides fucking up my bloodline’s height,” he said, “it’d be nice to give it prettier genetics.”

Mina’s face did three emotions at once. “...That’s...” she laughed, incredulous. “That’s just hot said differently, idiot.”

“I like your hair colour.” He threw a shot.

“It’s dyed,” she said instantly. “Try again.”

Alt hummed for a moment. “You’re a weeb.”

“You don’t even like anime.”

“You’re a gamer.”

“I’m not.” Mina deadpanned. “And neither are you, you’re more of a problem- try again.”

He let out a sigh and turned back to staring at the ceiling. “...I could give you a hundred reasons that make sense,” he said slowly, “and you’re going to ‘try again’ all of them because they make sense-” His voice drowned out slightly. “Truth is, I can explain every decision I make- about everything I do.” He turned towards her. “Except why I might like you for you.”

Mina forgot how to breathe for a beat.

“That’s basically it.” Alt shrugged after a pause.

Mina remembered how to breathe at that. “...I hate you so much right now.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘prettier genetics’ SIR??? THAT’S NOT RIZZ THAT’S EUGENICS WITH A WINK
cheap_aviators: ‘besides fucking up my bloodline’s height’ = ‘please nerf my family tree’ LMAO
ratmilk: ‘it’s dyed, try again’ SHE’S RUNNING QA ON HIS FEELINGS
npc_karen: Mina just hit him with ‘the hair was actually patch noted’
goblinresin: ‘you don’t even like anime’ GET HIS ASS
ratmilk: ‘you’re a gamer’ he says, while running an illegal manga cartel
tv.dinner: ‘except you’ = the rizz equivalent of a crit hit
npc_karen: Mina stopped breathing. CHAT STOP BREATHING. THIS IS A HOSTAGE EVENT.
pixx_aria: ‘that’s basically it’ YOU CAN’T DROP A NUKE AND CALL IT A SUMMARY

Alt didn’t miss a beat. “You’re the second girl to say that to me in the past five hours.”

Her ears twitched at that. “What?”

Alt waved it off with a tired exhale. “Long story- and it was a minor so don’t worry.”

Mina’s eyebrows climbed. “...Why do you keep psychologically attacking teenagers, Alt?”

“I offered her a job actually,” Alt corrected her. “After I killed off the industry she was working towards.”

Mina stared at him, deadpan. “...That doesn’t answer my question.”

He frowned at his own dark magic been used against him, “look. I’m an equal opportunity farmer.” He sniffed. “I don’t care how old you are- if you’re a old enough kid to play this game, or a spry enough boomer to survive in it, I’m gonna manipulate you if you don’t already have a vested interest in what I want.”

Mina blinked twice, then slowly exhaled. “...Alt.”

“Yeah?”

“That sentence is criminal.” The girl, following her accusation, promptly pulled towards him and re-engaged her attack against his sanity.

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: he really can’t drop a normal sentence, can he
ratmilk: Mina’s jealous reflexes are faster than Elgar’s AoE
npc_karen: ‘it was a minor so don’t worry’ SIR THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER
ratmilk: ‘don’t worry’ he says, after implying he fought with a child
cheap_aviators: he actually thinks that’s a comforting disclaimer
pixx_aria: ‘I offered her a job’ = the most Alt way to say ‘i emotionally obliterated someone’
npc_karen: ‘equal opportunity farmer’ BRO WHAT CROP ARE YOU GROWING
cheap_aviators: ‘spry enough boomer’ bro is trying to get canceled in advance
npc_karen: that sentence is going to be Exhibit G in the documentary

“...Your timing is impeccable- you call me a criminal and then go back into a cuddle-”

“Look, if I waited for an appropriate moment, this game would’ve been cleared before I got another chance.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

She pulled back slightly, to stare at him. “Okay,” she said carefully. “Where are we at? Like- really?”

“Nowhere,” he answered honestly. “Not officially. I’m... fine with this.” A beat. “But I’m not making a decision decision about us while we’re still in a death game.”

Mina blinked. “What do you mean by ‘this’?”

Alt let out a breath, eyes half-closed from exhaustion.

“I like you,” he admitted. “I do.” he paused. “I can see myself falling for you.” His mouth twitched. “I’m not going to... trip down the stairs or anything. But I don’t mind not fighting it as much.” He swept his free hand back through her hair. “As for this?” he added. “It’s convenient, I think- I don’t mind sharing a room with you-”

“Okay.” she immediately latched onto that.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘WHERE ARE WE AT? LIKE- REALLY?’ SHE’S DOING A STATUS CHECK
npc_karen: Mina asked for the relationship update and IK he’s about to dodge-roll
pixx_aria: ‘not officially’ SIR YOU ARE IN HER ARMS IN 16.5 MILLION HD
npc_karen: he’s trying to keep plausible deniability in a cuddle
tv.dinner: ‘i can see myself falling for you’ THAT’S A BIG LINE IN A SMALL ROOM
cheap_aviators: ‘trip down the stairs’ lmaooo he had to keep it alt-flavored or he’d combust
ratmilk: it’s like ‘i won’t resist affection’ and somehow that’s his love language
pixx_aria: ‘OKAY’ SHE LATCHED ONTO ‘SHARING A ROOM’ LIKE IT’S A BUFF DROP
npc_karen: Mina heard ‘room’ and said ‘mine’

Alt chuckled before continuing with what he was going to say, “-makes things less awkward later when we’re camping out of safe zones.”

Mina processed that for a few seconds before twitching at him. “...You’re saying... I can live with you, but the cost is that.... is that you wanna use me as a bulletproof vest when we’re outside the safe zones?”

Huh, she got it in one.

He shrugged. “If you’re cool with it- and us... living together, isn’t conditional on whether you’re fine with it- I dont' mind that regardless.”

Mercy porting through privacy walls wasn’t exactly something he could ignore, or rather the fact anything could ignore privacy walls to begin with- IF Mercy can do it, there was no guarantee something else couldn’t- and if his extra set of eyes happened to be a girl he- admittedly- did like then it solved two issues in one.

Mina was still processing battlefield conditions. “...You’re asking a girl that was player-killed if she’s fine being a bulletproof vest.”

“...Would you rather I asked someone else?” he said, genuinely. “’Cause I don’t mind.” He paused for a moment. “I’m sure Diavel cuddles like a motherfucker-”

Mina twitched at that image. “I hate you so much right now.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: he’s literally romance-minmaxing. i hate him. i respect him. i hate him again.
npc_karen: ‘camping’ sir you mean ‘running for your life and eating dirt’
tv.dinner: he said it like they’re going on a cute picnic. bro that’s a raid.
ratmilk: ‘bulletproof vest’ MA’AM?????
ratmilk: ‘if you’re cool with it’ man asked consent for being used as cover, that’s... something
pixx_aria: ‘isn’t conditional’ HE’S TRYING SO HARD TO NOT SOUND LIKE A CULT LEADER LMAO
cheap_aviators: ‘would you rather i asked someone else’ OH HE’S SERIOUS-SERIOUS
ratmilk: ‘I’M SURE DIAVEL CUDDLES LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER’ BRO???????
pixx_aria: DIAVEL CATCHING STRAYS IN A ROMANCE ARGUMENT
tv.dinner: he pulled ‘i’ll cuddle the tank’ as a negotiation tactic i’m CRYING

He highly doubted that.

She didn’t give him an answer on that topic and he wasn’t exactly keen on pushing it either.

Push comes to shove, Diavel’s his second line of defence.

“I’m surprised you’re fine with sharing a room,” Mina’s voice brought him back out of his musing.

“I was concerned before,” he admitted. “Mostly because- y’know- government broadcast.” He paused. “But... if you’re not going to try and jump me on sight, I think we’ll survive.”

Mina twitched at that. “Jump you on sight.”

“You literally almost got this broadcast publicly vilified day one of us meeting- my concern was reasonable.”

“Like I said, that was asset security,” she muttered, then pressed her face back into his chest to avoid eye-contact.

“Sure.” He shrugged. “Other side is... I’m fairly sure you don’t care too much about being recorded?” He exhaled through his nose. “ Though warning- Inn rooms do a third-person view thing- so sixteen point five million are currently staring at us from the top right now like we’re a Sims household.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘I’M SURPRISED YOU’RE FINE SHARING A ROOM’ GIRL SAME?? THIS MAN IS ALLERGIC TO COHABITATION
ratmilk: ‘if you’re not going to try and jump me on sight’ HE’S STILL TRAUMATIZED FROM HER HUG HITBOX
pixx_aria: he said ‘we’ll survive’ like the threat is her libido not Kayaba
npc_karen: MINA REPEATING IT LIKE ‘EXCUSE ME?’ LMAO
ratmilk: ‘publicly vilified day one’ he’s not wrong she almost got him cancelled by physical contact
cheap_aviators: ‘my concern was reasonable’ SIR YOU HAVE A POINT BUT YOU’RE STILL INSANE
cheap_aviators: ‘don’t care about being recorded?’ ASKING THAT WHILE 16.5M WATCH IS DERANGED

“...That’s so creepy,” she mumbled into his shirt. “But no...” she added “I don’t really mind.” She snorted. “What’s the worst that can happen? If this doesn’t work out, I don’t think I can go back to normal anyway.” She clarified at the confusion on his face when she looked up at him. “I mean like- boring normal.” She shrugged into his chest. “Like- I’d have to settle for... someone who doesn’t have a hit list against society and a business plan that lives in the grey.” She let out a snort. “So yeah. Either this works, or I’m dating a guy named Ken who thinks taxes are a personality.” She locked eyes with him. “I either get what I want, or it doesn’t matter.”

Alt hummed at that and looked away. “...This is a strange, strange feeling,” he said with a straight face. “Wow.”

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: Mina casually confirming she’s fine being observed... ma’am the internet is feral
goblinresin: she said ‘it’s creepy’ then immediately went ‘anyway’ i respect the emotional whiplash
pixx_aria: ‘I CAN’T GO BACK TO NORMAL’ OH GODDDDD
tv.dinner: ‘HIT LIST AGAINST SOCIETY’ MA’AM PLEASE THAT’S A WHOLE DIAGNOSIS
ratmilk: ‘business plan that lives in the grey’ GIRL HE LIVES IN THE BLACK IRON PALACE IN SPIRIT
pixx_aria: ‘dating a guy named Ken who thinks taxes are a personality’ I AM FUCKING DEAD
cheap_aviators: Kens catching strays from inside a death game is wild
npc_karen: Mina out here handing Alt emotional hostage paperwork and calling it flirting
pixx_aria: ‘WOW’ HE’S ACTUALLY FLUSTERED. CLIP IT. FRAME IT.

She looked very pleased with herself for that one.

He made to say something stupid in response- only for Mina to lean in and- “You should get some sleep.”

...There honestly wasn’t much of argument in him not to- all things considered- there was so, so much left to do.

“Fine, you can have that one.” He sighed.

She didn’t say anything back, just hummed at his chest.

Wait, no no- there was actually something for him to say to that.

“Told you you’d regret walking aw-”

“Not even listening, Alt.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: SHE HIT HIM WITH THE ‘GO TO BED’ MOM VOICE I’M SCREAMING
cheap_aviators: Mina casting [Bedtime] on the final boss
bag_of_meat: not him folding immediately. the NEET has been domesticated.
pixx_aria: ‘Fine, you can have that one.’ HE SAID IT LIKE A CONCESSION IN A WAR
tv.dinner: her humming at his chest is doing psychic damage to half the audience
pixx_aria: HE DID NOT JUST TRY TO SNEAK IN ‘TOLD YOU YOU’D REGRET WALKING AWAY’ LIKE A FUCKING FORTUNE COOKIE
ratmilk: man cannot stop himself from being insufferable, it’s terminal
cheap_aviators: he really tried to get the last word while actively being cuddled
tv.dinner: Mina: ‘Not even listening, Alt.’ translation- as the gotcha bitch guy would say ‘gotcha bitch,’
cheap_aviators:...Did you seriously just try to quote a comedian by using his punchline as his name?
tv.dinner: some of us haven’t slept aviators.

...

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Free release date: 2 February 2026