AltF4 Chapter 12: Tempered Fate

...

Kayaba.

It was obviously Kayaba.

The timing was suspicious as a motherfucker and the NPC didn’t help at all given it sounded a lot more human than any other one he’d interacted with.

He shook his head as he processed it properly.

It had actually waited until he’d lined up the cheat sheet, until he’d screen-shotted his little manual and had Ctrl F ready to trivialise whatever brand of bullshit Kayaba counted for a ‘knowledge’ exam.

For a moment, Alt figured the motive for it, was simple.

The man didn’t want him to turn his mechanics into a spectacle.

That was obviously wrong.

Kayaba loved a good spectacle.

So he killed the thought in his head, and settled for the fact Kayaba was obviously annoyed with him instead.

Fun.

He stared at the NPC- at Kayaba- and asked him. “Why?”

Because how was this any different to Mercy, to the Elgar strategy- why was he openly acting up now?

It’s not like the man couldn’t have come knocking for Mina in the middle of the night post-glitch, or taken over Elgar mid-fight and had him bellow out his disapproval- no the man gave him a manual for the first one and cosmetics with a paranoid spiral for the second ‘cute strat, raise the number of actual immortals and I’ll nerf Mercy’ but the strategy itself, the actual problem, was fine?

Or at least Alt certainly thought so.

So, if both of those were okay, why was beta-smithing his hard line in the sand? Because that had to be the issue here because if he was set for regular, he doubted Kayaba would care about him cheating to get the skill.

The NPC didn’t answer immediately- it just kept staring at him.

The man really was caught off-guard wasn’t he? He wasn’t even trying to hide the fact he was in control- NPCs never stalled. They always had an answer ready on a beat for what was asked.

He was tense, admittedly enough. Very ten-

He watched it open its mouth and the tension went up a notch.

“The Smithing Workshop operates on a heavy resource flow-”

He frowned at that.

The man was obviously not going to come out straight and talk to him apparently.

Hooray for immersion he supposed.

“-and for it to continue offering our practitioners the means to work and still afford their day to day costs, the Smithing Workshop requires a fund to work through, and it is growing suspiciously small- courtesy of our more aspiring talents.” As it finished, the NPC turned its head towards Lisbeth.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: WHY DID THAT NPC JUST STARE LIKE IT GOT POSSESSED
ratmilk: ...Is that... is that fucking Kayaba???
npc_karen: ‘Why?’ BRO ASKING (MAYBE) GOD CUSTOMER SUPPORT QUESTIONS AT MIDNIGHT
bag_of_meat: if this npc starts typing i’m leaving earth
cheap_aviators: ‘heavy resource flow’ = capitalism possessed the clerk
ratmilk: ‘courtesy of our more aspiring talents’ = LIZ IS GETTING CALLED OUT BY (MAYBE) SATAN LMAO
eggmanreturns: i haven’t slept and now the NPCS ARE DOING CORPORATE MONOLOGUES. fantastic.

Alt blinked once at it before he crossed his arms.

Fine, if Kayaba wanted to play chicken, he can play chicken.

He was the best at chicken.

“You sell ingots at a hundred cors each,” he said deadpan. “That offsets, what, at least ten hours of a smith’s workload, just by selling one, and that's if they’re good at it.” A beat. “How exactly are you running out?”

The NPC hesitated again, but at least this time it was for a much shorter duration. “We do not have many buyers currently.”

Alt hummed at that. “Why me?” he sniffed. “Why not set up a GoFundMe, or donation or whatever?”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ALT IS ARGUING WITH AN NPC(?) ABOUT CASHFLOW LIKE THIS IS MONEY TIGERS
tv.dinner: he’s not wrong though. why is the smith shop BROKE.
goblinresin: npc just had to consult Satan’s spreadsheet real quick
eggmanreturns: ‘we do not have many buyers’ yeah because everyone’s busy NOT DYING??
cheap_aviators: ‘set up a GoFundMe’ in a hostage crisis is INSANE content
ratmilk: bro’s trying to financially bully an NPC into admitting it’s Kayaba

The NPC answered that one quickly enough. “Like stated, you are connected to a very wealthy individual. One hazards to guess that means you have access to a relatively large fund compared to most.”

He hummed at that as well.

He wasn’t too annoyed evidently, else he would’ve just had the bot in front of him outright dox his ass to the brown-haired girl beside him.

Unfortunately for Kayaba, if he gave him an inch, he was digging a hole for both of them.

If the NPC was going to bullshit him to his face, he might as well wring it for what it’s worth. “Define it,” Alt deadpanned. “You’re talking about wealth? Tell me what qualifies as enough-”

The NPC cut him off.

Patient, Kayaba was evidently not.

“A talented trainee can make eight cors an hour, and judging against that, your affiliate holds over twelve thousand hours worth of cors.”

Lisbeth, from behind him, let out a whistle and a- “...Damn.” She let out a snort, “Maybe piracy is the way to go...”

[Twitch Chat]
goblinresin: ‘Define it.’ this is a hostage negotiation against a cash register
ratmilk: he’s doing cross-examination on a shopkeeper
npc_karen: ‘your affiliate holds twelve thousand hours worth of cors’ BRO THAT’S A SENTENCE
pixx_aria: LISBETH: ‘maybe piracy is the way to go’ GIRL SAME
ratmilk: she heard ‘twelve thousand hours’ and instantly became morally flexible

Alt let out a sigh- as annoyed, and impatient as Kayaba was, the man was good at band-aiding his own fuck ups he supposed.

But Alt was an asshole to everyone he met- Kayaba was no different.

He needled the man capable of turning his life off on a yen.

“And if I choose not to donate?”

“Then you may take the same path as everyone else.” The NPC answered quickly.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: oh he’s really negotiating with GOD’S CASHIER
ratmilk: 'take the same path as everyone else' = Kayaba just called him POOR in corporate
npc_karen: the NPC just said 'skill issue' with extra syllables
goblinresin: he’s about to click 'yes' out of spite. we all know it.

Same path huh?

He really just couldn’t come outright and say it.

Alt held in the urge to react- he wasn’t sure if Kayaba can see or toggle the mask off on his end- but that was proof, that for whatever reason, the man was willing to give him Mercy, to let him kill a Floor 8 gate six floors earlier... but drew the line on Beta Smithing.

That made him want it all the fucking more.

It also pointed out something very important, that for whatever reason, the man who took ten thousand hostages, was also the same man that believed he needed permission to take a toy that accidentally made it to the big screen away.

That in and of itself might’ve also explained why Mercy and Elgar was allowed.

Even then though, as far as this was concerned, the only thing that’d even made it to the big screen was the fact his NPC interactions gave him beta odds... but there was no visual confirmation, not yet, that he had access to Beta Smithing itself to begin with.

Kayaba was... pretty much... pushing that technicality on his own.

The man was a genius, even if NPC odds were directly connected to a player’s ability to gain Beta Smithing- it’s not like he couldn’t have broken that connection, or redefined it or whatever- the man built a Nervegear, he doubted a couple lines of code were an issue.

...Though in fairness, Alt didn’t have a clue how bad the code really was so for all he knew it might’ve actually been difficult to pull that off... or Kayaba was stalling for the time to do it? Given he didn’t exactly give him a lot of time to work with.

The only thing he was sure of, was the fact that one, he didn’t want him to have it and two, for whatever reason Kayaba had to justify not giving it to him.

And Alt was very happy to push that for all it’s worth.

“Can’t say I’m a fan of playing it like a peasant,” he said. “Let’s go donor for special treatment.”

The NPC paused for a moment before it nodded its head.

He couldn’t help the snort as he took in the options that appeared in front of him.

-Donate 1010 cors-

-Donate 2020 cors-

He ignored the first one- regular, obviously- but he hesitated on the second because it came with a warning.

He stared at the text below 2020-

[Comes With A Thank You Message.]

Asshole. Kayaba was a petty asshole.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: 'playing it like a peasant' HELLO?????
ratmilk: he said it like he’s allergic to being normal
npc_karen: Alt just speedran classism in one line
cheap_aviators: he’s about to ignore the 1010 like it’s a scam tier lmao
eggmanreturns: this is the 'accept cookies' pop-up but the cookies are war crimes
goblinresin: Kayaba really said 'sure you can have it... but I’m writing you a note'

He shook his head, as amused as he was quite frankly terrified of what qualified as ‘hey thanks for breaking my game again!’

He wasn’t dumb, he could guess what that was.

“Diagonal guy?” Lisbeth’s voice washed over. “You good? Ya kinda just...” She paused. “Are you lagging? Is lag a thing? Oh god-”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: 'DIAGONAL GUY' is actually my favourite nickname
cheap_aviators: 'are you lagging' girl we ALL lagging it’s 1AM and god is patching live
tv.dinner: 'Is lag a thing?' MA’AM THIS IS FULL DIVE VR, LAG IS A PERSONALITY

He tuned her out.

That thank you was going to be a warning, a notice- a little patch note blaring to the stream.

That was going to be Kayaba’s excuse, going forward, for everything Alt accidentally stumbles into because of his hardware.

He knew that’s what it was, because that’s the same fucking thing he’d do in Kayaba’s position, if the shoe was on the other foot.

He could ignore it and eat the smithing loss, abuse the NPC rates and play plausible deniability going forward, but the truth of the matter was this was a catch-22.

He stared directly at the NPC in front of him.

It doesn’t matter what he chose, Kayaba was going to give him that warning regardless, whether it was in the notes, or it came out of the NPC’s mouth.

Because that was also something that he’d do in the man’s position.

So the answer was simple.

If both guns were loaded regardless, he might as well take the nicer looking bullet.

He clicked the 2020 option.

He almost let out a fucking scoff at the warning that showed up anyway.

[Notice: This route does not include the Creation tree.]

[Twitch Chat]
eggmanreturns: Creation locked because he'd make a guillotine and sell tickets
ratmilk: Lmao he thinks that's gonna stop him
pixx_aria: man just got handed the ‘violence only’ skill tree. he’s gonna thrive.

Like it mattered- if the beta version of whatever that route was didn’t exist anyway, it didn’t matter if he lost out on it. And it’s not like he can’t just hire a regular smith for the regular version.

Even if there was a reality he got absolutely nothing for taking the option, he was still going to, just on the off chance it came with an advantage.

The man put a gun to the back of all their heads- fuck playing fair.

He accepted the condition.

The NPC nodded its head once and echoed out a “Wonderful,” it said. “Would you like to pay an extra fee, to keep your name hidden?”

He actually did scoff there.

He stared at the price tag for that one- 9583 cors.

Kayaba was a petty, unsubtle, asshole apparently.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: 'WOULD YOU LIKE TO PAY AN EXTRA FEE' KAYABA INVENTED DOXX INSURANCE
ratmilk: PAYWALLING PRIVACY IS CRAZY LMAO
npc_karen: if he doesn’t pay it i’m suing him for self-sabotage

He wasn’t sure if he was paying to avoid a donor list, an announcement, or Kayaba was just reminding him how many players were still alive- but he hit yes all the same.

He stared at the sudden prompt that appeared, confirming he was, in fact, now a Smith of Aincrad.

Opening the skill, he ignored the big red X marker covering the entire right side of the tree, zeroe’d in on the left, straight towards the starting odds number, and let out a massive sigh of relief.

20.2%

Double what Argo had said regular started at.

He’d gotten it. He’d actually gotten it- and judging by the exp bar at the top of said skill window, Kayaba hadn’t modified it at all outside of locking whatever Creation was.

Twenty Five exp to level two, was obscene.

The curve- the curve was going to be a joke with that for it’s base.

He held in the urge to gulp, in joy, or whatever he was feeling right now as he scrolled down the window, as he stared at all the unknown markers for each milestone, and hit the bottom of the skill where he found Kayaba’s thank you message waiting for him.

Talk about testy.

[THANK YOU MESSAGE]
This should’ve been patched but you filmed it early.
I hate that for me.
Keep this one but don’t expect any more.
Any further beta privileges get revoked on sight.
And tell the world out there that if it adapts this world while it is still occupied, I’ll adapt corpses in response.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: ‘beta privileges get revoked on sight’ BRO JUST GOT PUT ON A ZERO-TOLERANCE PATCH LIST
pixx_aria: HE SAID ‘ON SIGHT’ LIKE IT’S PVP
cheap_aviators: KAYABA JUST THREATENED THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY IN PATCH NOTES FORMAT
goblinresin: man said ‘make a SAO sitcom while they’re still trapped and i’ll start live-editing the body count’
ratmilk: that is the most insane ‘don’t copy my homework’ message i’ve ever seen
npc_karen: HE’S ACTUALLY MAD HE GOT CAUGHT BY A CAMERA
pixx_aria: chat i feel unsafe and horny at the same time stop
tv.dinner: PIXX????????
ratmilk: I’ve been saying this girl needs therapy

That was it.

He was officially, outside of Mercy, his camera and now Beta smithing, a regular, degular, player.

He closed the skill window and noted the fact the NPC had gone back to idling.

He turned his mask up slightly, his gaze locking onto the IRL cam. Tablet Lady had been quiet throughout that whole ordeal.

He opened his text window and just started typing out- ‘We’ll... talk about this tomorrow.’

She gave him a wary nod.

“I’ve sent a picture of the note to a few analysts, though I doubt we’ll get any closer to his motives out of it.” She finished on a sigh.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: translation: ‘we’re cooked and i’m tired’
npc_karen: she’s so done LMAO
cheap_aviators: ‘doubt we’ll get closer to his motives’ MA’AM HIS MOTIVE IS ‘I CAN’
ratmilk: ‘his motives’ = he’s bored and hates competitors, next question

He didn’t nod at that- Lisbeth was already pinning him with a stare at his evident lag.

The good news was, he had a very good way to obliterate her confusion, with... well, effective stupidity.

He turned back to the NPC and asked to see his shop.

It had two options- seven if you counted the smith shop starter pack which he dimly noted cost a grand total of five thousand cors to get a hold of the furniture for it.

He focused on the two that mattered.

Hammer, priced at fifty cors and tagged with a thousand uses on each one.

Fresh Ingot, priced at a hundred cors and was going to skyrocket by the next midnight audit.

He asked for two hammers first, and ignored Lisbeth’s surprise as he watched them immediately stack in his inventory and take a single slot.

That was ridiculously convenient.

He did the same with the ingots and low and behold, Kayaba wasn’t an inventory management menace, or he just didn’t account for Alt-branded stupidity.

Honestly, if the man had let him into the Beta Test, Alt wouldn’t have last three days before calling it quits on NeuralVR as a whole and the SAO crisis would’ve been an unmitigated, un-supervised, unwatched disaster.

He ignored the thought and focused on the fact he had a grand total of just over one hundred and three thousand cors currently- he promptly asked for a hundred more hammers, and dumped every last remaining cor into fresh ingots.

To the absolute bafflement of Lisbeth.

“...Huh?” she whispered. “What do- did you seriously just buy a thousand ingots!?”

“Obviously not.” He sniffed. “I bought nine hundred and eighty Ingots.”

“...For what!?” She questioned, “did- did the Eye give you the manga money for this!?”

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: Kayaba gave him murder AND stackable tools. generous murderous king.
pixx_aria: HE’S SHOPPING LIKE A MAN ABOUT TO COMMIT A WAR CRIME
npc_karen: Lisbeth’s face rn: ‘i have witnessed a financial homicide’
cheap_aviators: ‘Obviously not. I bought nine hundred and eighty ingots.’ I HATE HIM LMAO

“Yes." He sniffed. "I am a very trustworthy individual, I’ll have you know... and as for why?” He turned to stare at her directly. “I am going to commit arson against the smithing community. And then I am going to rob the playerbase blind.” He tilted his head at her. “And yes, the Eye absolutely signed off on this, because the Eye doesn’t just want a smith- the Eye wants the highest levelled one he can get his hands on today.”

He promptly walked over towards the nearest Anvil, sat his ass down in front of it, and pulled out a stack of ten Ingots, lined them up on top of the anvil, pulled one of the hammers out-

“W-wa-wait wait- WAIT! What are-”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘I AM A VERY TRUSTWORTHY INDIVIDUAL’ SHUT UP
ratmilk: bro said it like a bank statement. in a death game. at midnight.
npc_karen: ‘commit arson against the smithing community’ SIR THAT’S A UNION
goblinresin: ‘the Eye signed off’ YOU ARE THE EYE. YOU SIGNED IT.
eggmanreturns: he’s doing corporate fraud but the corporation is ‘god’
pixx_aria: ‘doesn’t just want a smith’ he wants a MONOPOLY IN HUMAN FORM
tv.dinner: ‘wait wait WAIT’ girl RUN
goblinresin: she’s watching the apocalypse get laid out like ingredients

-and started spam­-hitting like this was a cookie clicker simulator.

He ignored Lisbeth’s screeching as she watched one Ingot after another start dying every two-three seconds.

“You- YOU’RE SCRAPPING THEM!” she barked. “You can SELL THEM! Damaged ingots still have a use! You’re- you’re-”

“I am pay-to-winning the fuck out of this.” He deadpanned as he dimly noted that scrap metal, thankfully, also stacked together into one inventory slot.

“You’re rich- if you’re rich you can just- just do it efficiently! You-”

“This is peak efficiency.” He deadpanned.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘YOU’RE SCRAPPING THEM!’ SHE’S SAYING IT LIKE HE’S KICKING A PUPPY
npc_karen: ‘damaged ingots still have a use’ MA’AM HE’S NOT HERE TO BE SUSTAINABLE
tv.dinner: ‘I AM PAY-TO-WINNING THE FUCK OUT OF THIS’ THIS IS A HOSTAGE CRISIS
ratmilk: ‘THIS IS PEAK EFFICIENCY’ BRO IS DOING DATA ENTRY WITH A HAMMER
goblinresin: he’s treating the anvil like a slot machine he’s trying to break
pixx_aria: ‘peak efficiency’ = ‘maximum suffering per second’

She couldn’t see his level rise- so of course she didn’t get it.

“...This is a massive waste,” she whispered, quieter now, like she was trying to talk to a storm. “You’re.. you’re throwing away pluses’s... Oh god- oh god this is- this is literally illegal-”

Alt’s Smithing level climbed.

He started tuning her out again and instead stared at the fact pixx_aria was evidently running a timer for him, to his amusement.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘THIS IS A MASSIVE WASTE’ SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE’S WATCHING HIM BURN A LIBRARY
npc_karen: ‘literally illegal’ MA’AM YOU ARE IN A DEATH GAME SHOPPING MALL
cheap_aviators: she’s whispering like the anvil is gonna hear her and snitch
goblinresin: BRO HIS SMITHING IS CLIMBING LIKE A SPEEDOMETER
tv.dinner: he’s ignoring a REAL PERSON HAVING A MORAL CRISIS while PIXX IS RUNNING A STOPWATCH
pixx_aria: I AM DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE. YOU’RE WELCOME.
ratmilk: pixx you’re running a timer on a man committing economic terrorism

...

Six minutes later, he hit a hundred smithing and the NPC immediately decided to intervene- not over what he was doing, no, it just echoed out a- “Ingot prices will be readjusted at midnight.”

Alt paused his hammering, and ignored the way the shaking girl beside him broke out of her panic at the NPC’s voice.

Cute, Kayaba coded in a PSA in his death game.

He went back to scrapping.

“Oi...” Lisbeth started out warily as she walked up to the NPC in his peripheral- he ignored her interacting with it as he watched his exp bar continue filling up.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘readjusted’ = ‘someone’s about to get executed by economics’
ratmilk: ‘ingot prices changing’ and he said ‘anyway’
tv.dinner: she’s in the background trying to understand inflation and he’s doing crimes per second

When she was done, she sat back down next to him- he paused slightly at the fact she was a little too close for his comfort- “I will send you to the Black Iron Palace if you get any closer-”

“The...” She cut off the rest of his sentence, her voice wavering. “The- the skilling guidebook said... said that- that only happens when...” He let out a sigh as he watched her gaze lock onto his, less then efficient hammering. “...Did you hit a hundred already!?” She questioned, panicked again. “There’s no- there’s no way you could’ve-” She froze up. “...Are... do real ingots give more exp or something?” She questioned.

Huh, guess she hasn’t bought them before.

“No... no the books the guidebooks would’ve mentioned-” She put a hand on the anvil he was using, causing him to pause. “Stop ignoring me!”

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: he’s using prison as personal space enforcement
pixx_aria: ‘DID YOU HIT 100 ALREADY??’ MA’AM HE HIT 100 WHILE YOU BLINKED
tv.dinner: she sounds like she’s watching someone teleport in a speedrun
npc_karen: ‘do real ingots give more exp?’ she’s bargaining with physics
ratmilk: she’s trying to find literally ANY explanation that isn’t ‘this guy is cursed’
cheap_aviators: ‘there’s no way you could’ve-’ YES. THAT’S THE GENRE.

He chose to bang the next attempt louder than before, and watched her move her hand away and freeze up. “I am on a deadline, young lady.” He deadpanned as he turned slowly towards her. “Don’t mistake my putting up with your endless questions as an excuse to keep bothering me.” A beat passed. “I will not answer your questions, I have zero need to explain myself to you.”

She blinked at that, her expression turning into a heavy frown. “...You’re going to mess it up for all of us...”

“I am going to give this playerbase a means to an end.” He pointed out. “All I am doing, is exactly what you’ve been here doing, only faster.” He scoffed. “Don’t pretend otherwise.”

“...You’re... using cors you’re using the Eye’s... help to- to- It’s too soon-”

“To offer an alternative to the suffering?” He questioned, earning a pair of narrowed eyes. “You’re complaining about the playerbase having faster access to a support skill they are in desperate need of.” He tilted his head. “Because it’s not you running the anvil? Really?”

[Twitch Chat]
tv.dinner: ‘I AM ON A DEADLINE, YOUNG LADY’ = bro turned into a divorced dad mid-crafting
npc_karen: he’s talking like she’s his intern and he’s about to fire her
cheap_aviators: ‘don’t mistake me tolerating you’ DAMN LMAO
npc_karen: LISBETH FACE: ‘OH THIS GUY SUCKS’
ratmilk: she just realised the mask comes with attitude debuffs
tv.dinner: ‘to offer an alternative to the suffering?’ LMAOOOOOOO he’s doing PR while committing inflation
cheap_aviators: ‘because it’s not you running the anvil?’ BROOOO STOP BULLYING THE KIDS MAN

In hindsight, Asuna had the means to actually debate him- this girl evidently was a little less upfront about it.

He admittedly felt bad about that.

He let out a sigh. “Don’t assume the worst.” She blinked at him. “There’s a good chance I might need an apprenti-”

“I don’t like people that don’t care about messing things up for everybody and pretending they’re doing it for a good cause.” She cut in, visibly angry. “...The Eye... The Eye charged people two hundred cors for- for a manga chapter! How are you any bett-”

“Didn’t you offer to join the Eye’s party yourself as a smith?”

She stiffened at that point.

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: ‘DON’T ASSUME THE WORST’ SIR YOU ARE LITERALLY DOING WORST% RUNS
cheap_aviators: OH SHE CUT HIM OFF- SHE’S MAD MAD
pixx_aria: ‘didn’t you offer to join the Eye’s party yourself as a smith?’ Someone nerf this man’s thinking- he’s smurfing on noobs
ratmilk: This man needs to be banned from participating and hired as a judge for every debate post-sao

...

Twenty one minutes in, thanks to a caffeine-fuelled pixx_aria’s time-keeping skills, Alt hit the next milestone.

“Ingot prices will be readjusted at midnight.”

He paused at that and stared at the fact his odds were a hundred levels away from his NPC rates, not even half an hour in- an insane amount of disassociation involved- thank god you could brute force fatigue if you were insane enough.

The ingots lasted a hell of a lot longer now as well compared to starting- his average was now a +14.

Three more pluses on that average and he breaks even on each ingot.

He idly noted the fact Lisbeth didn’t react that time.

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: imagine min-maxing scrap metal in a death game
ratmilk: Lisbeth not reacting is the most realistic part. she’s dissociating in 4K
pixx_aria: she’s in stage 6 of grief: silent horror
tv.dinner: stage 7 is gonna involve unionizing the anvil

...

“Ingot prices will be readjusted at midnight.”

He hit three hundred on the forty seven minute mark.

Not even a full hour in, and he’s already at his NPC odds, boosted by the fact his penalty was less per success.

This was actual insanity.

His average itself? Stopped being +14 a while back, and by while, he means fifteen minutes or so ago.

+20 started showing up like it’d owed him compensation, a few minutes ago, where he’d also learned a very important lesson.

While the Ingot refused to go over twenty even on a success, it still gave him exp for every attempt.

He was definitely starting to understand why Kayaba tried to put the brakes on this.

Beta Smithing, with a one hundred thousand cor purse, slightly over a month into the death game was an absolutely diabolical combination.

“...You’re at three hundred already?” Lisbeth whispered idly as she slowly went through her stack of free ingots. “...What the fuck?”

Indeed.

He watched her, then and there turn her attention on him. “...I...”

He paused for a moment, stared at the fact the girl couldn’t get her words out and then focused back on the anvil.

She did the same, though her enthusiasm took another hit.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: ‘what the fuck’ is the correct technical term yes
ratmilk: ‘three hundred already’ in ANY MMO is unhinged, in SAO it’s a felony
tv.dinner: she tried to load a sentence and got ‘ERROR REALITY’
npc_karen: she’s buffering. she’s literally buffering.
eggmanreturns: he’s speedrunning smithing and emotional neglect simultaneously

...

The next hundred took over half an hour to reach, and barely at that.

He stared at pixx’s timing message just as the NPC blared out the intended inflation.

It had taken one hour and nineteen minutes before he left his npc odds in the dust.

He was officially past the first major milestone.

The climb itself though was expanding further than he’d expected- but from the looks of it, it was still doable.

He was just going to be a zombie at the end of it.

The ingots themselves? They basically lived in twenties now. For a long, long time.

On average... they basically survived near seventy? Sometimes eighty attempts before they turned into damaged versions? And even then, even those, with a one failure to death applied on ‘em- even those survived for six, seven, eight even extra hits.

He watched the girl, at the announcement promptly stand up, filled with energy and sit her ass down beside him like a gargoyle, her gaze squarely on the anvil.

“...Are you rerolling attributes?” She questioned as she watched him go back too climbing. “That doesn’t make sense,” she added on, her voice exhausted. “Even if it did...” She shook her head. “What level are you actually aiming for?” she asked, voice tight. “Diagonal- what level is the Eye trying to make you hit- ‘cos- ‘cos I am pretty sure you’ve hit the ceiling on what the odds should be-”

“One thousand.” He answered, cutting her off. “I am aiming for one thousand in smithing.”

[Twitch Chat]
eggmanreturns: ‘ARE YOU REROLLING ATTRIBUTES’ OH SHE’S AT THE ‘BARGAINING’ STAGE
ratmilk: she’s trying to rationalize it like it’s a normal crime
tv.dinner: ‘that doesn’t make sense’ ma’am NOTHING has made sense since Elgar got bullied
pixx_aria: ‘I’m pretty sure you’ve hit the ceiling’ GIRL HE LIVES IN THE ATTIC
ratmilk: ‘One thousand.’ no hesitation. no pity. just WAR.
pixx_aria: Let me correct that for ya rat- ‘I HAVE CHOSEN VIOLENCE’

....

His skill window gave him a pop-up on reaching four hundred and one- he glanced at it once and chose to ignore it.

[Material Boost Unlocked]
[Minigame Boost Unlocked]

...

Forty minutes later, the NPC jumpscared the girl beside him, who’d just started watching him waste one ingot after another, and recently tried to start counting how long each one survived for.

Lisbeth flinched when she watched him turn a +20 into a damaged version.

Flinched harder when she watched him scrap it, even after it literally defied odds and survived ten extra hits.

Alt thought she’d be used to it by now.

Lisbeth turned slowly toward him. “That was eighty nine attempts.” She whispered. “I counted- I figured out how many hits you were doing a second- timed the seconds, and came up to what the fuck.”

“Girls shouldn’t swear.”

“And Diagonals shouldn’t commit crimes against math but here we are.” She paused for a beat. “Seriously, how are you doing that?”

“I am very lucky.” He deadpanned as he turned to stare at her.

“...This isn’t luck,” she twitched. “This is blasphemy.”

“Then I am blasphemy,” Alt deadpanned again.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: girl just turned into a raid analyst because the crime was too loud
npc_karen: ‘girls shouldn’t swear’ BROTHER YOU ARE LITERALLY COMMITTING FINANCIAL WAR CRIMES
eggmanreturns: he hit her with the Victorian DLC mid-apocalypse
cheap_aviators: ‘diagonals shouldn’t commit crimes against math’ SHE’S GOT BARS???
pixx_aria: she just called him GEOMETRY SATAN with her whole chest
ratmilk: ‘I am very lucky’ LMFAOOOOOOO
npc_karen: ‘Then I am blasphemy’ BRO TOOK THE PROMOTION ON OFFER
pixx_aria: he’s not even denying it anymore he’s just branding it

...

Forty nine minutes later, he hit the starting line of where the Beta Tester’s hit a ceiling thanks to inflation- six hundred.

He was almost out of ingots, but his scrap metal was going to give him his cors back and some.

He’d broke-even a while back, he just hadn’t actually noted it at the time.

Lisbeth had stopped asking about smithing at some point and had started questioning if he was actually human.

“You’re not even selling them,” she deadpanned. “You’re not even doing the smart version of whatever exploit you’re running.”

He finally cracked the latest ingot into scrap.

“This is the smart version.”

“No,” she snapped. “The smart version is selling the +20 ingots, that you’re somehow hitting and then retiring for like the rest of the game. The version you’re doing is... is-” She gestured helplessly at the anvil. “Publicly performing a hate crime against math.”

Alt didn’t answer.

Lisbeth made a noise and went back to her station, crafting her free ingots like she could outwork the apocalypse.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: she’s not mad he’s cheating she’s mad he’s bad at cheating
tv.dinner: ‘not even doing the smart version’ LMAO she’s critiquing his crime efficiency
npc_karen: she’s watching a billionaire light money on fire and going ‘you’re doing arson wrong’
eggmanreturns: she’s like ‘you could be a demon AND an entrepreneur’
pixx_aria: THAT IS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THIS ENTIRE STREAM
npc_karen: call the cops- the cops are dead. call a statistician.

...

At six hundred and thirteen smithing, he hammered his last ingot into scrap-

Lisbeth was currently napping in the next anvil over.

The first time she’d fallen asleep, about five minutes ago, he’d woken her up, because what kind of girl falls asleep with a stranger next to her??

Her exact words had been ‘Stranger danger applies to perverts- You’re not real- you’re a hallucination and this- this is all just a bad dream.’ before passing right back out.

He got up slowly and walked up to the NPC.

He stared at it.

It stared back.

He let out a sniff and opened up the shop and sold it fifty nine thousand, eight hundred and thirty two scrap, and watched it pay him more cors than he’d entered with.

He immediately dumped one hundred and nineteen thousand six hundred cors into ingots, with a shit-eating grin on his masked, sleep-deprived face.

He wondered what Lisbeth would’ve said if she heard him.

[Twitch Chat]
tv.dinner: SELLING 59000 SCRAP LIKE IT’S A PAYDAY CASHOUT
npc_karen: THIS ISN’T SMITHING THIS IS MONEY LAUNDERING WITH HAMMERS
cheap_aviators: HE RE-UP’D HIS ADDICTION

...

Almost an hour later, the NPC told them Ingot prices were set to reach- Alt assumed- five figures.

He was officially almost at the tail end of, as Argo had predicted, the minigame and material boost- soon enough, he was actually going to have information that Argo would’ve paid him a killing for, if he wasn’t already responsible for her allowance.

He watched Lisbeth slowly wake up thanks to the announcement. He watched her walk up to the npc, check the price, let out a long dejected sigh, turn towards him with a glare before going back to sleeping on her anvil.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: SHE WOKE UP JUST TO CHECK PRICES
cheap_aviators: she’s literally power-napping between economic disasters

...

Over an hour later, a very, very exhausted pixx_aria typed in, a little later than usual, the total time so far- four hours and fifty two minutes- while the NPC blared out the truth that someone had hit no man’s land.

Lisbeth, who’d been watching and waiting for the announcement for the past ten minutes, stiffened at that.

“...Guidebook... says...” She paused. “...Can you at least tell me what you get at eighty hundred and one?”

“Nope.”

She twitched. “I have never met a bigger asshole than you.”

“She says to the guy, she’s been napping near.”

“You realise I can ask the NPC if you tried anything right?”

“I did not in fact know that, no.”

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: pixx running that timer on caffeine and spite like a true patriot
goblinresin: ‘guidebook says...’ this girl is living in a wiki and dying in real time
pixx_aria: ‘can you at least tell me what you get at 801?’ SHE’S TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE MONSTER
npc_karen: ‘Nope.’ HE’S SO CONSISTENTLY AWFUL I RESPECT IT
eggmanreturns: ‘I have never met a bigger asshole than you’ MA’AM YOU MET KAYABA???
cheap_aviators: ‘bigger asshole’ list currently: 1) Kayaba 2) Diagonal 3) the economy

“Hm. Well, if you did-”

“I’m- I am good in that department." He cut her off, somewhat uncomfortable where she was taking it. "As far as that's concerned, I already have someone volunteering to ruin my sleep schedule.”

“...Gross.”

“She’s actually very sweet.”

“And that’s all you’re thinking about anyway, huh?”

“Never said I took her up on it.”

“Press X to doubt- any guy openly destroying the hopes and dreams of a young aspiring girl in a death game, is the exact type of person not to trust with anything.” She sniffed for dramatic effect.

He ignored her complaints, but did idly wonder what she’d say if she ever found out everything he did was actually recorded.

“Good policy.” He deadpanned.

“I hate you so much.”

“You don’t even know my name.” He cracked another ingot at the perfect time there.

[Twitch Chat]
tv.dinner: ALT STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
ratmik: ‘She’s actually very sweet.’ BRO IS DOING ROMANCE WHILE COMMITTING ECONOMIC TERRORISM
npc_karen: he’s soft-launching Mina mid-arson, classic
pixx_aria: ‘Never said I took her up on it.’ AND IT FUCKING HURTS TO WATCH
tv.dinner: he really just hit her with ‘deniable horny’
ratmilk: he endorsed the ‘don’t trust me’ like it was in the guidebook
tv.dinner: ‘You don’t even know my name.’ OK REVERSE THANOS???

She processed that with a huff. “You know what the worst part is?” she said, voice thin. “Like right now, you’re not even doing this for the right reasons.”

He continued beating the scrap out of an ingot.

“You don’t even care about smithing,” she continued. “You care about... numbers. You care about just being at the top.”

Alt didn’t deny it. “That’s what winning is.”

Lisbeth’s laugh came out forced. “Oh,” she said. “Cool.” She pointed at the anvil like it personally offended her. “Then congratulations, Diagonal. You’re winning.”

[Twitch Chat]
tv.dinner: she’s realizing she’s watching a finance bro cosplay a craftsman
goblinresin: ‘You care about numbers’ YOU MEAN THE ENTIRE ALT SPEC
ratmilk: ‘You care about... just being at the top’ girl just described his personality
pixx_aria: she said it like an accusation but that’s literally his religion
tv.dinner: bro is so honest it loops back into psychopathy

Around two minutes later, he hit eight hundred and one, and watched the skill open the curtains on the new- he blinked a few times at it.

[Perk Unlocked: Speedster’s Fate]
At the current level, you will receive 26% of the full minigame boost on application.
The boost shall increases by +1% per level.

He hummed at that and got rid of the window before he stared down at the +20 ingot in front of him.

He let out a sigh and decided to see what this minigame was all about and whether that perk justified been where it was.

He hovered the hammer over the ingot and watched as an interaction option appeared. Opening it up, he took in the material box and tilted his head at the fact the material side of the boost accepted a total of three different items, and below it showed him the percent modifier that those materials offered- it was currently at zero.

Shifting his focus to the minigame side of things, he clicked on it, and watched as he was given the option between the complete version, or the Speedster option.

....If he was going to test this, he might as well do it properly.

He chose the complete option first.

It gave him a green spinning circle? With a needle at the top- he blinked at it, confused slightly, until he looked just above the circle itself and saw the number One.

He clicked the hammer against thin air- nothing- he held in the twitch of embarrassment and clicked the hammer against the ingot and watched as the number above the circle changed to a Two, and a very, very thin red line appeared in the circle.

Ah.

It was a gauntlet of every enhancement point so far, based on his odds.

That’s what the minigame was.

He hammered through, easily.

It wasn’t hard for him, it was just long.

Worse actually, the minigame didn’t give him exp which made it a waste of time as well.

Even +20’s wheel, wasn’t particularly difficult- he hit it and watched the interface settle back down to what it was before, but under the minigame option, the modifier had gone from zero to a thirty-three percent boost to his odds.

On his current odds that just read as a hundred.

Interesting.

He made the attempt, watched it obviously succeed, and then reopened the minigame to test out the Speedster's Fate version.

He took in the same twentieth +20 circle he’d seen before.

Evidently it really was referring to time.

He hammered through it, and watched as-

Ah.

Twenty six percent, of the minigame’s total offered bonus was applied.

The Speedster gave him a smaller boost, but only needed him to run the minigame once.

Depending on how far that percent went, that was actually fairly handy down the line.

He wasn’t mad at it.

“...You’re not gonna tell me what you got are you?”

“Like I said, no.”

Lisbeth let out a disappointed sigh at that. “Fine, keep your secrets.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: PERK POPUP PERK POPUP PERK POPUP
tv.dinner: he’s interacting with a system he’s been ignoring for HOURS
eggmanreturns: MATERIAL BOX TAKES THREE ITEMS?? THIS IS HONING, ISN’T IT
pixx_aria: GREEN WHEEL MINIGAME?? COOL COOL COOL SO WE’RE IN A CASINO NOW
npc_karen: ‘number One’ showing up like a tutorial boss
ratmilk: he clicked thin air LMAOOOOOOO
bag_of_meat: oh it’s literally ‘X circles of consequences’ where X is just the world remembering every time you got lucky
ratmilk: gauntlet per enhancement point is EVIL design
pixx_aria: ‘latest’ wheel only = GOD BLESS THIS PERK
npc_karen: he just unlocked ‘skip gameplay’ in a death game
tv.dinner: ‘Fine, keep your secrets.’ she sounds like she’s aged 30 years tonight

...

Fifty levels later, he found himself surprised as he watched another perk hit his visuals- pixx-aria on seeing it, haphazardly typed in a wrong number- he doubted it’d been fifty two hours already.

She corrected it to five hours and twenty nine total minutes with a follow up message.

He stared at the fact the Speedster boost evidently capped at 75% of the total the minigame could offer, which was honestly insane.

He stared at the latest perk.

[Perk Unlocked: Protector’s Fate]
Chance to avoid durability loss on failure: 26%
The chance shall increases by +1% per level.

That was... unfortunate for his current profit margin, Alt couldn’t help the thought, but great for his prospects.

It started at the same percent as the last perk so... he figured it was probably going to cap out in fifty levels.

He let out a snort.

Lisbeth’s head snapped toward him from her anvil. “What’s funny?” she questioned, exhausted and suspicious like she’d been dealing with him for three days instead of a few hours.

Alt didn’t even look at her.

“My luck just got a whole lot better,” he said, deadpan.

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: NO. NO NO NO. ‘Durability Save on Failure’ IS EVIL
ratmilk: BRO JUST GOT ‘INSURANCE FRAUD’ AS A PASSIVE
npc_karen: ‘chance increases by +1% per level’ OH SO IT TURNS OFF CONSEQUENCES. COOL.
tv.dinner: Kayaba really said ‘failures are optional’ at level 851
pixx_aria: he just unlocked ‘stop bleeding money’ in a game built on bleeding money
tv.dinner: He really hit her with ‘My luck just got a whole lot better’
ratmilk: ‘luck’ HE SAYS. like he didn’t just unlock durability godmode
npc_karen: man is gaslighting the laws of probability in real time

...

The NPC jumpscared Lisbeth out of another nap- she groaned and immediately went back to sleep as Alt let out a snort before he turned his focus to stare at his chat... and blinked at the lack of a pixx message.

He looked up in his HUD and found a passed out Tablet Lady on his desk, arms covering her face.

He made to let out a sigh at the lost time-keeping only for ratmilk to prove he was more unhinged than pixx for once with a timestamp.

Six hours and eight minutes had passed since he’d started his crusade against probability.

And there was only one hundred levels left.

Ingot side of things? It really was getting super freakin’ difficult to scrap them.

...

He stared at nine hundred and one's perk.

It’s official, he was about to fight immortal ass ingots.

[Perk Unlocked: Healer’s Fate]
Chance on successful enhancement to restores 4-6% missing durability (if any): 26%
The chance shall increases by +1% per level.

He let out a genuine chuckle as he shook his head.

Kayaba you absolute troll.

He dimly leaned back as he noted the fact light had started filtering in to the workshop at this point- it was officially about to turn into morning.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: 26% STARTING AGAIN. KAYABA YOU’RE A COMEDIAN AND I HATE YOU
npc_karen: DURABILITY SAVE + DURABILITY RESTORE = ‘THIS THING HAS MERCY’
tv.dinner: it LEGIT IS LIKE watching someone unlock a second Mercy but for economy crimes
pixx_aria: I AM BAAAAAAAACK WHAT’D I MISS I GOT MORE COFFEE AND LIFE
ratmilk: Alt’s Ingots are going to outlive the playerbase
pixx_aria:... what’d he do give em Mercy??”

...

At smithing level nine hundred and fifty one, Alt officially understood why Kayaba- the man who’d allowed Mercy to exist near un-conditionally- hadn’t wanted him to get access to Beta Smithing.

His sudden laughter as he stared at the perk- as he watched, his now once again filled chat go dead silent for a tense moment.

It didn’t matter.

Everything until now, every moment his eyes and hands, and brain begged him to go take a nap, felt vindicated.

He felt alive.

[Perk Unlocked: Tempered Fate]
Choose the attribute to roll on a successful enhancement.
Cost: 54 percentage points to all odds, applied before all boosts.
Cost reduces by 1 per level.

And that was all he needed to read, as he grinned and found the energy he needed to burst through the finish line.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: CHAT?
pixx_aria: SHUT UP I’M READING
npc_karen: THAT IS NOT A PERK THAT IS A FELONY
tv.dinner: THAT’S THE ENDGAME. THAT’S THE WHOLE GAME. THAT’S THE SLOT MACHINE’S OFF SWITCH.
cheap_aviators: HE JUST GOT ADMIN PRIVILEGES FOR RNG
pixx_aria: THAT IS LITERALLY ‘PAY 5% TO BE GOD’ AT MAX
npc_karen: this is why he didn’t want to give him beta smithing LMAO
ratmilk: watch him go ‘cool now i can pick meta rolls’
pixx_aria: watch him then go ‘cool now i can price-gouge meta rolls’
goblinresin: watch him follow it up with ‘cool now i can build a religion out of stats’
eggmanreturns: Not gonna lie, this is cool and all but if it exists for beta, it exists for regular, and if it exists for regular, this game’s difficulty’s diabolical.

...

Eight hours and twenty minutes later from the moment he started, Alt took in the very last enhancement attempt he’d need to make before maxing out Beta Smithing.

He took in a deep, long, breath before he dropped the hammer down and-

“Kayaba you fucking asshole.” He deadpanned out loud as he watched the fucker’s announcement hit the game before the NPC’s jumpscare registered.

[SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT]
Congratulations to UserId 6284 on becoming Aincrad’s First Master Blacksmith

Evidently, when the man said he wouldn’t use his name, he meant his name.

[Twitch Chat]
tv.dinner: i just watched a teenager speedrun a craft skill like it owed him money
pixx_aria: OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
ratmilk: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
tv.dinner: ‘Congratulations’?????? like we’re at a fucking graduation??????
pixx_aria: USERID 6284????? HE’S A SERIAL NUMBER NOW
ratmilk: HE PAID FOR ANONYMITY AND STILL GOT DOXXED BY INTEGER
tv.dinner: Kayaba really said ‘thanks for the cors, anyway here’s your government-ass employee number’

He let out a shrug, nothing can really ruin his mood- blinking once, he squinted his eyes and snorted.

If anything, actually, having proof that Bishop wasn’t a beta tester was admittedly handy.

He ignored Lisbeth jolting up from her nap at the sudden announcement, as he got up and made his way to NPC- and proceeded to dump the rest of the scrap he’d had on hand.

He thought about it for a moment before he decided he might as well buy the shit he’d need to set up a smithing shop- and processed the fact the shopkeeper gave him the blueprints for it.

He supposed that made sense- lugging around a furnace in his inventory didn’t seem... realistic.

And then, keeping around- he tilted his head in thought again, give or take twenty thousand cors to reset his parties gear- and about fifteen for the manga restock...

He played it safe with the rest and spent a majority of it on ingots as they were about to skyrocket to a hundred and two thousand cors a piece once midnight’s audit hit- but he did end that on an even total because he wasn’t a crazy lunatic.

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: the blueprint drop is so funny like ‘congrats you unlocked HOME DEPOT’
ratmilk: SHOPKEEPER: ‘here’s the plans’ ALT: ‘ah yes, portable capitalism’
tv.dinner: Kayaba drew the line at ‘anvil in inventory’ but not ‘immortality cartel,’ noted
npc_karen: he’s hoarding raw materials like they’re bitcoin (WHICH THEY ARE???)
goblinresin: bro basically bought ‘tomorrow’ in bulk
tv.dinner: i can already hear the screams in the plaza: ‘WHO DID THIS’ and the answer is a Neet with three different faces LOL

That was going to be fun for the rest of the players.

All in all, he came up to around twenty three thousand cors in profit throughout the night.

He was admittedly very pleased himself, even if most of his cors now sat in a stack of nine hundred ingots.

He bought ten hammers as well- as he was probably going to need them.

He was a little happy their prices weren’t going to go up as that would’ve been unfortunate- he paused at that thought, and just in case they did, bought a hundred more of them.

Outside of upcoming costs, he had just over a thousand cors to his name.

“...Congrats.” Lisbeth’s voice echoed from behind him.

He turned to stare at her- she was- huh, she wasn’t pouting. She just looked resigned as she crossed her arms.

“You sure you don’t want that job?” He questioned idly, earning a surprised look from her.

He watched her mull it over for a moment. “Why?” She questioned. “Because if it’s just a pity hire-”

“It’s not.” He cut off her spiral as he walked up closer. “I’ve got my reasons for it- if you’re interested, say so- if not, I’ll find another smith.”

She mulled that over for a second. “...Don’t you need like the Eye’s permission?”

“I am not offering you a place with the Eye.” He pointed out. “I am offering you a job working for me.”

She mulled that over, and looked down slightly. “...You actually need another smith?”

“Yes.”

She raised her gaze at that. “...You gonna help me level up?”

“Naturally.” And literally at that- he was going to make her do manual labour if she accepted. “You wouldn’t be any use otherwise.” He deadpanned.

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: LISBETH SAID ‘CONGRATS’ LIKE SHE WATCHED A NATURAL DISASTER WIN AN AWARD
pixx_aria: BRO JUST DID A LINKEDIN RECRUITMENT AFTER COMMITTING ECONOMIC ARSON
ratmilk: he’s hiring the witness
goblinresin: she just said ‘are you authorised for this warcrime’
npc_karen: she’s thinking ‘access to Mercy’ and he’s thinking ‘shop-front’
ratmilk: translation: you’re joining the off-brand department
tv.dinner: ‘i’m offering you a job working for me’ = welcome to the subsidiary nobody can sue
pixx_aria: ‘YOU WOULDN’T BE ANY USE OTHERWISE’ BRO???
ratmilk: that is the most Alt compliment ever

“Wow.” She scoffed at him for that. He watched her gaze settle on his mask for an admittedly long time. “...Okay- but you’re not paying me minimum-wage cors.”

“Pay you?” He deadpanned back.

She twitched.

He snorted and told her he was joking. “You’ll receive a message- in the next three days.” He gave himself some time to set that up. “Make sure you’re there, or the job goes to someone else.”

She nodded slowly at that. “...You gonna tell me your name or-”

“No.” He answered quickly. “That’s not information you need.” He pulled out a teleport crystal. “You can call me Bishop- or Diagonal, or whatever floats your boat.” She nodded slowly at that- he promptly twirled his finger around, “Turn around please, I am not a fan of been watched.”

She blinked at him for that, let out a scoff- but thankfully obliged.

He cracked the crystal and waited until the last second and made sure the girl was still facing away before he unequipped his mask.

[Twitch Chat]
npc_karen: she stared at the mask like ‘i’m gonna remember this in therapy’
ratmilk: she watched him print money out of scrap and said ‘run me my cut’
pixx_aria: ‘PAY YOU?’ LMAOOOOOO
tv.dinner: she just lived through the smithing apocalypse and still got a no-call no-show policy
ratmilk: she got offered two nicknames and neither is human
goblinresin: ‘whatever floats your boat’ says the man who just sank an economy
npc_karen: he said ‘don’t watch me’ while being on a 24/7 stream i’m dying
tv.dinner: he’s about to do a magic trick and he’s making the assistant face the wall

...

He slipped into the streets of Floor Two- the same streets that were filled with people already losing their shit at the latest announcement.

He ignored them all and made way for the Inn he’d used yesterday.

He was so bloody tired.

The walk should’ve been nothing- Aincrad’s fatigue system however was unfortunately pissed off at him.

Alt had been running on fumes, adrenaline, and spite for so long that the moment he took a breather, the game decided to knock on his door.

His vision blurred at the edges. The floor started tilting to the left. He was swaying in ways that would’ve been funny if he wasn’t the one doing it.

[Twitch Chat]
ratmilk: bro’s on 3 HP and it’s all mental
npc_karen: Kayaba really said ‘you can’t log out BUT you can clock out’
pixx_aria: THE VISION BLUR IS TAKING ME OUTTTT
ratmilk: he’s swaying like a drunk priest

And that was ignoring the constant buzzing in his head right now.

...

Thankfully, he made it to the inn on autopilot.

He stared ahead and took in the receptionist NPC smile- it was the same one it did yesterday.

If this one started talking to him like a human aswell, he was taking a vacation.

“Room,” Alt said barely.

He swept through the routine and turned away the moment it accepted payment, walked up the stairs- accidentally hit the side wall once- and the moment he reached the top step of Inn’s first floor, he dimly realised he didn’t actually look at what his room number was.

He blinked rapidly- his mind wondering if it was in this floor or the one above while his body wandered down the corridor automatically, gaze snapping left and right, waiting for the highlight to show him where he was supposed to pass out in.

Players walked past him- awake and filled with very different emotions between each other from the announcement.

He ignored them and kept drifting past them, one door at a time-

“Alt?”

He froze for a moment before he started turning slowly, the buzzing in his head growing as confusion hit him at the familiar voice.

He blinked rapidly as he processed the source.

Mina stood in front of a room, hair a mess, eyes still waking up and concerned etched on her face.

He processed it for a further second, then gave a tired shrug- her room, his room, same thing- he doubted she’d complain.

He walked towards her.

Mina started to say, “I was about to go meet Argo because you weren’t respo-”

She stopped herself when he reached her and just turned towards the open door and walked in like he paid for it.

He looked over his shoulders once and asked her to close the door before he let out a heavy breath and added, “Tell the others I’m passing out for the next several hours.”

[Twitch Chat]
pixx_aria: HE HIT THE WALLLLLLL
ratmilk: navigation debuff: 99 stacks
tv.dinner: imagine being the inn NPC and watching the most infamous man alive walk into drywall
pixx_aria: the way the hallway feels like a hospital corridor right now
tv.dinner: everyone else: ‘DID YOU SEE IT’ Alt: ‘i need horizontal’
pixx_aria: MINA SPAWNED
ratmilk: the universe said ‘emotional support NPC unlocked’
npc_karen: I am waking everyone else up if this turns into a whole thing
ratmilk: she is 100% gonna try to hug him and he’s 100% gonna threaten prison
pixx_aria: he didn’t even ask, he just WENT IN

She called out his name as he crossed the room, reached the bed and exhaustion dropped him onto it face first.

He watched his view start to peter out as sleep made to claim him slowly- only for his interface to start screeching at him, loudly.

He stiffened as he felt a jolt of adrenaline from said interface’s warning- his brain momentarily cleared as the fog in his head was swept away.

He turned his gaze and registered the hand shaking him by the shoulder.

“You- you didn’t-” Mina blurted. “That looked uncomfortable-”

Alt blinked at her again before he stared down at himself.

His knees were on the floor while his chest and head were on the bed.

“...Mm.” He made a noise that was more groan than word, shoved himself up onto the mattress properly and let out a long sigh the moment he felt Aincrad’s ‘rest’ mechanic start kicking in.

A smile filled his face as he felt himself sink into the covers.

He was feeling oddly comfortable as he rolled onto his side and looked at Mina with a small, tired grin and made to apologise for stealing her room- only for him to just... lose the words as he stared at her.

She looked warm and comfortable too.

He kept staring.

It... was an intrusive thought- or... at least it started as one but... well, she'd probably be down for it so-

“You wanna join me?" His mouth decided to open the dam before his brain could shut it down.

...

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Free release date: 26 January 2026