A Little Cruise - Editing Banter

Story: Sandy smiled “Of course you are…you’re as brilliant as you are beautiful. But if you’re so brilliant,  so smart, Melanie. Then you must…” he squeezed her hand before gently lowering it, still shaking her hand slowly “realize now…that you are easily hypnotized.” Raising her hand gently “That you can simply…” Squeezing her hand as he lowered it “Sink Melanie. Sinking down… easily.. and gently… just let everything fade away and…” giving her hand a gentle tug toward him as he says “ Sleep!

SG (Editor): Damn it...i think that either dropped me really really lightly, or just dazed me.

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Story:  A nice commanding “Sleep!” followed suit.

SG: Didn't drop, just kind of...zoned out for a minute. I think.

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Story: enthrall her, hypnotize her,

SG: I'm both being a smartass and genuinely curious when I say this...aren't those the same thing? :oP (I am seriously curious, though)

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Story:  Xander reached out and gently took Lynn’s glasses by the sides of the frame and slowly slide them off of her. She seemed a bit nervous as he did so but let him finish. He put her glasses carefully on on the neck of his shirt then reached out his hands to place one finger on either side of her temples and slowly started to roll his fingers into the trigger points on her head. “Just close your eyes Lynn” he began “And take a deep, slow breath.  Let yourself breath in and hold it for a moment, and then gently, easily, let it slide out of you. And allow the world around you to simply fade away.  All that matters is my words and the image of a beach, forming in your mind. Just let yourself become aware of the beach forming around you. The feel of the warm sand and cool water beneath your feet. The air blowing gently, and easily through your hair. Feel the sun against your skin, the sand between your toes. Hearing the waves, rolling in and crashing against the sand. And then rolling back out and fizzing like soda pop.  Hearing the gulls overhead cawing and squawking as they fly above the water.  And the trees in the distance, rustling gently against the breeze. You can smell the water in the air,  be it fresh and clean, or salty and strong. The very scent helps you to relax.  And all around you, you can see the colors, the golden sands,  the blue of the water capped with crystal white caps.  The green of the leaves on the trees, rustling in the distance.  The solid brown of the trunks. The black rocks scattered along the beach, and the pearly rainbows of the sea shells scattered around your feet. Just let this become your world,  just feel yourself walking slowly and gently, down the beach. Every step you take, every word I say, only helps to take you deeper and deeper. It’s ok to just lose yourself on this beach.  To let your conscious mind just walk, and walk… and to let my words just sink into your subconscious mind. Able to enjoy them for what they are, able to simply let go and relax and enjoy the beach in your conscious mind, while your subconscious follows my words. You can do that can’t you?”

SG: Damn it...this dropped me like a rock.

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Story (after the end of A Little Cruise - Part 4)

SG: I had three responses that popped into me head once i finished this, basically. The first was just a 'well that was nicely done, all around.' (which it was :o) )The second was something along the lines of 'cold shower, cold shower, cold shower'. And i have too much of a filter to let you know what the third was, but it was similar to the second. :oP Anyway, good job, and this shouldn't surprise you but the inductions dropped me like a rock and i swear i was still dazed from it while i was editing the next few pages.

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Story: Xander folded his arms, feeling a bit insecure. “I hypnotized her the traditional way, no energy, no powers, hell I didn’t even use pheromones.”

SG: I read this and my first thought was "and the problem is...?"

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Story: Hey, weren’t you that guy I was talking to on the bow last night? Wait a minute, you were… you showed me how to relax… and then… I remember walking on the beach, how did I end up here?” 

SG: "how did I end up here?" - welcome to my life, Lynn :oP

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Story: Then her arms lowered and she looked at Sandy, then Xander, and said in a strangely relaxed voice “nap time.”  Then her eyes rolled up into her head as it fell back, and her whole body fell forwards.

SG: Entertaining, yet also button pushing. :oP Although wouldn't that be awkward for her head to fall back while the rest of her fell forward?

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Story: A moment later Lynn arched her back and put her arms a few inches out from her side and let her head hang back. Taking on the same pose as Veo, just without the wings.  Sandy raised his hands and the mist like cloud of sand moved from his hand and surrounded Lynn. Her skin started to become clear as her dress from the night before fell away from her body. A moment later there were two beautiful crystal statues on display. 

SG: Yeah...also button pushing…

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Story: Sandy audibly laughed “Hell no, sometimes I’ll just spend an entire night just statueifying and un-statueifying the same lovely lady over and over again.

SG: Two responses when I first read that: one was 'wouldn't that be monotonous?' the other, at the same time, was 'i could live with that'