Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 194
Added 2025-06-15 13:43:25 +0000 UTCJune 15, 2025
NOTE: Happy Father's Day! Hope you guys like this one! I need lots of feedback and comments! (Seriously, even just saying 'I liked it' is very helpful.)
Enjoy!
<< Chapter 193 | Ch 1 (Book 1) | Ch 16 (Book 2) | Ch 31 (Book 3) | Ch 46 (Book 4) | Ch 61 (Book 5) | Ch 76 (Book 6) | Ch 91 (Book 7) | Ch 106 (Book 8) | Ch 121 (Book 9) | Ch 136 (Book 10) | Ch 151 (Book 11) | Ch 166 (Book 12) | Ch 181 (Book 13)
- CHAPTER 194 -
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FEEDBACK: Thoughts?
1. Thoughts on Jessica's reaction?
2. What did you think about Petra's disclosure? (About what the werewolf Queen wants? And what Petra wants?)
3. Thoughts on the Dryad? (What do you think about her appearance? What do you think about her core aura? Different than what you expected? In a good or bad way?)
Chapter 195 >>
Comments
Well, the section where Brooke wakes up isn't even half the chapter, but noted. I might have to revisit her entire section, but I've already made some changes.
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-23 00:27:48 +0000 UTCSome good thoughts. Once they meet Ariana, there will probably be more clarification as to how that will look.
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-23 00:11:31 +0000 UTC#2- As too Petra's revelation, it's a little shocking, but kinda not. She's been in a committed relationship with two other women for hundreds of years with no indication that they've been anything but faithful to each other. But....not only has Petra unexpectedly formed this strong bond with Kai, but she is emotionally attached as well. It's like she's taken on the role of his protective big sister, but with some romantic feelings as well. Perhaps since he has appeared to be a very solid, decent guy in his new life she has also developed a crush on him as well. Keep in mind she never really had a chance to Explore romantic feelings with a man before she and Ariana were forced together, so maybe she needs to figure some things about herself out. As far as Ariana goes, it makes sense I'm a pragmatic way. These last couple of decades are the first time ever when they didn't have Wrath/Shadow to back them up against anything really threatening. Ariana now has a better picture of how vulnerable they might be. A tighter relationship with Kai is very desirable. The benefits are many. Obviously an incredibly powerful ally tops the list, but also Petra is now able to have the unique experience of motherhood and giving birth. Any spawn of Kai's that joins Ariana's pack would eventually become very powerful individuals and would be a significant addition to the Royal Wolves. I think Kai should consider giving his blood to the entire Shadow Trinity. He completely trusts them, it would significantly up their power and regeneration, improve their communication and allow him to share his power with them in an emergency.
Christopher Miller
2025-06-20 04:24:18 +0000 UTCIn regards to Brooke and trying to explain myself better/elaborate further; I guess my concern/worry is that in general Kais women are all sort of balanced/level in terms of appearance. Even Elizabeth, Gwen and Natalie, whom Kai considers the "most attractive", arent too far removed from the others, to the point that if theyre involved in a threesome or orgy, it still makes sense that Kai can be focused on/enamoured with his other women; i believe this was shown at the school, when even with Nicole involved, whose appearance is also otherworldly, Kai could still focus on Michelle and even make Claire the main character in that get together. However, with Kais reaction to Brooke, i think he said that there is no 'second place', it felt like the beauty standard was shattered, to the point that no matter who was involved in a sexual scene, as soon as Brooke would appear, she would automatically be the centre of attention, thus making it harder to believe that Kai could focus on any of his other women if she was involved. To try to sum up my feelings; for me i think it mostly felt like Brooke was presented as so otherworldy and radiant, to a level that none of the other women could even hope to reach, that her attendance in any sexual encounters would almost diminish the other harem members who might also be present, thus leaving Kai unable to focus on anyone other than her; as i mentioned, whilst obviously each harem member has their own unique appearance/assets, the standard of beauty felt very consistent for all of Kais women up until Brookes introduction. I hope some of what i said makes sense, i definitely struggled to write down my concerns. Hopefully i didnt ramble too much and you can understand some of my thinking; although, i can totally see this thought process only applying to me, with nobody else sharing these worries, in which case feel free to ignore me lol. I do feel like im perhaps someone who has misunderstood how you were trying to present Brooke in this chapter, so im looking forward to learning more about her and understanding the essence of her character/how shes meant to be perceived.
Carl
2025-06-17 19:37:03 +0000 UTC#1- As to Jessica's, and for that matter Claire's and Reagan's reactions, they seem far more normal to me than the other women's. Most of them have been supernatural their whole lives, or have been for hundreds of years. The exceptions are those like Serenity, who was conditioned by Absolom to accept Kai and all that made him special as well as Gabriella who had been told for much of her life she was a succubus. Avery sorta knew Kai was supernatural for a couple of years, and Michelle knew he had just drug her back from death itself. Tracy's reaction seems to be an outlier. But maybe she was so love struck (and maybe quasi-compelled) that she just accepted it and went with the flow. Also, as a detective grounded in science, logic and a completely non-mystical worldview, it was probably more of a shock to her system than most of the ladies.
Christopher Miller
2025-06-17 16:57:59 +0000 UTC#3- I like and appreciate Brooke's otherworldly appearance. If every mortal (male and female) she meets becomes enthralled with her, it stands to reason she would feel like royalty. What will be interesting is to see how she interacts with the rest of the harem. Many of them give off queen bee vibes some of the time, and become submissive in other situations. Miriam, Liz, Gwen, Claire and Rebecca can be a bit haughty at times, so it will be interesting to see how the dynamic shifts.
Christopher Miller
2025-06-17 14:36:40 +0000 UTCI will have to disagree. I like everything being from Kai’s prospective. And when a bad guy is introduced, they can share with us their motives that way.
J Bone
2025-06-16 21:16:40 +0000 UTCGlad we got to see Brooke wake up. I will say it seems like 3/4 of this chapter was a description of her ungodly good looks. I hope that it comes into play later. Also knowing that Petra wants a litter of kids might explain why she was disheartened to find out Kai might not want her as a sexual partner. Looks like he will be adding 3 more. With Jessica being one of them.
J Bone
2025-06-16 21:15:02 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. I thought Jessicas reaction to the whole situation made total sense; she has had no knowledge of the supernatural world before these events, so her freaking out and struggling with this new information that literally rewrites her view of reality and whats possible, such as magic and demons existing, is a completely reasonable response. I actually think she handled it fairly well all things considered; i feel like most people would have passed out or bolted, especially when seeing Serenitys demon form. As far as Petra is concerned, i like that she has specified that her allegiance is still to Ariana, even if she gets to be more intimate/involved in Kais life; i feel like it is similar to Rachels situation in that she clearly loves Kai, yet she also has her loyalty and connection to Laura as her partner. I think that having Petra be almost a bridge between Ariana and her family and Kai could be a good idea, as she can have a significant role within Kais life yet doesnt necessarily have to be a 'wife' to him or be intimately involved with his other harem members. Her offering her body and womb to Kai to ensure him as an ally is an interesting development; as others have mentioned im intrigued to see how Ariana came to this decision when she seemingly initially wanted Kai to forget her and her wives even existed, yet now has offered one of said wives to him. As for Brooke, i think this has already been mentioned and i do agree that it feels like the description of her appearance is perhaps being highlighted too much, almost to the point that it, in a way, starts to diminish the looks/beauty of Kais other women; with her attractiveness being so otherworldly, its as though none of his harem members can even compete. However, thats just my initial feelings towards her introduction; my view/opinion of her could completely change once her character has been explored more in the story. Finally, im interested to see if Brooke will even be a part of Kais harem at all, as her attitude already seems totally dismissive towards Petra and its not hard to see it being a similar story with his other women. I feel like she may end up simply being an ally/mentor whose 'indulgence' encompasses everything other than sex; it would be ironic/funny if this otherworldy beauty turns out to be disinterested in having sexual relations with anyone, even Kai.
Carl
2025-06-16 05:00:41 +0000 UTCSerenity's appearance is something that I think most don't fully realize how 'scary' she would look in real life. It would be unnerving to see a 'person' who looked like her when transformed (if not outright terrifying to most people, even those who 'think' they like that kind of thing). I might need to revisit his conversation with Petra, because I felt like it was obvious that their interest in each other goes 'beyond' just breeding, and that they are both interested in a more serious relationship, and kind of using that as a means to both express that commitment/desire, as well as to tease about it. But it seems like those subtitles may have gone over some heads (I didn't think it was subtle, but I also wrote it, which means I might not have accurately communicated what they were both thinking/experiencing in the heat of the moment). One of things that is stated in the narrative is this: ----- “Forever?” I whispered. Petra’s entire body felt hot, her thin arms tightly enveloping my head. “Y-Yeah. F-Forever,” she managed. ----- That's meant to imply a more serious long-term relationship, but I guess I may need to clarify that. For Brooke, I'm glad you think her personality fits her. Also glad that you like her complexion.
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-16 03:03:22 +0000 UTCGlad to hear it! Hopefully the next chapter's dialogue from Brooke will continue to line up with your expectations. There's going to be a lot of interesting information learned from her, given that she knew 'Shadow' for a very long time prior to his reincarnation.
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-16 02:57:01 +0000 UTCKaizer, might I suggest something? It's not a crit, but when reading stories I find very immersive, is when the writer adds more perspective to the story by adding a nemesis character with backstory and POV. Even as much as having his/her own chapters. Where readers can follow the twisted mindset of the BADDY. Adding understanding or reasoning to the actions, beliefs, or emotions that fuel the evil deeds. As much as it's cool to generate love, hope, and support from your readers for the hero. It's also fun to do the opposite for the bad guy. Everyone loves to hate the bad guy, and in some cases even support him/her as the antihero.
JayBase
2025-06-16 02:46:00 +0000 UTCMost likely when Wrath started the transition to become Kai a power vacuum occurred and his most loyal servants had orders to guard their little territory and Ariana made a promise to cull the cursed werewolves but I imagine they were too numerous for her to effectively contain because when they and other supernatural parties like the vampires caught wind of Waths removal from the board they went crazy and ran amok till they were contained. Kinda like Communism spreading to Korea and Vietnam till The US intervened it’s spread, but to this day is still Communist. Hence why Ariana wants an alliance with him
Raul Salazar
2025-06-15 22:47:32 +0000 UTCI love this chapter.My only question is with brooke, and how kai is going to interact with her. I also wonder if the rest are listening in on his thoughts this whole time and how their reaction is.
GsG3n
2025-06-15 22:03:27 +0000 UTC1) Jessica's reaction was exactly what I hoped it would've been. She's a normal human with no knowledge of the otherworldly powers that exist around her. She's then confronted with her best friend not only telling her all this is real, but showing her magic and then shifting into a terrifying demonic state. It was brilliantly handled in my opinion. 2) I'd like more of a background on what transpired in the time between his reincarnation and now to cause Ariana to be so invested in this alliance that she would agree to loan out her wife to be used as breeding stock just to insure it's completion. Petra's personal reasoning mostly makes sense since she's seen him grow in this new form, but to me I would think both of them would want a deeper relationship than just broodmare. 3) Brooke I'm still up in the air about. I'm not sure really needs another women in his life that he just wants to sleep with due to how insanely attractive she is. I did like her personality, which is fitting of a creature as old as she is. Personally I'd love for her to want nothing to do with him sexually and be more of a mentor/tutor of the power he had before and how to regain the ability channel it. I do like her skin tone, I'm a sucker for metallic green with a red shift.
CausticWraith
2025-06-15 19:21:43 +0000 UTCOops! Brooke
Jonathan Depenau
2025-06-15 19:15:08 +0000 UTCGood chapter! I like Brook. She's like the living embodiment of one of those stone age venus (fertility Godess?) statues. Very cool
Jonathan Depenau
2025-06-15 19:14:08 +0000 UTCno opinion on the first or the last, but as to what Petra wants, I think Kai should tell her he wants to be part of any of his offspring's life. to have ALL his children grow up together. But it also seems Petra's trying to convince herself to stay with Ariana and not run off with Kai.
Edward Collins
2025-06-15 19:13:18 +0000 UTCGood catch! Fixed it.
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-15 17:32:28 +0000 UTCI like how Brooke is, it's the type of attitude and look I would expect of an ancient creature predating human existence. Unfortunately, there hasn't been enough interaction to get a handle on her personality. But considering she was introduced essentially only in one chapter and a couple of paragraphs in the previous. I guess there wasn't enough space to pursue it further. Well, you've set the bar high, let's see what you come up with next. Loving where you're taking Petra. I see the shared bond with Nat, her and Kai being next level. Also looking forward to Petra's transformation, haven't seen it yet.
JayBase
2025-06-15 17:20:47 +0000 UTC'makes me think of those multi tone car paint jobs with a metallic paint glisten' Yes! That's exactly right, and that's exactly how I described Nicole too, so I'm confused about why you're confused. Nicole is like an iridescent blue car that has hints of purple at the edges and a 'shine' highlight of green (a green 'sheen' on the overall blue car). And Brooke is a green car with 'shadows' of dark blue and a 'sheen' of red. I actually gave this description of Brooke's skin at the end of the last chapter (end of Ch 193), even comparing it to a iridescent green car. Are you just struggling to imagine that as a person's skin color or something? Because that comparison is literally used in the story.
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-15 16:54:48 +0000 UTCFinished: 1. Understandable, I was wondering if she was gonna bolt when serenity got the glass of water. 2. Interesting, I'd like to know more about the situation that made them realize they needed an ally, since I assume they'll meet at some point that would be a good storyline. 3. The appearance is hard to imagine, iridescent and shiny makes me think of those multi tone car paint jobs with a metallic paint glisten. I think it's the description if so many colors that made it a little challenging but once the clothing took form it made it a touch easier. The core is fine/interesting, I would've assumed pride would be her core but what you chose also makes sense and can go hand in hand with pride. She clearly has an expectation of her master, and I wonder if him seeming uncertain, flustered and weak would affect her perception of him. I was thinking that him being her master was a part of her indulgence; the most powerful master possible. 4. I liked it.
Moi465
2025-06-15 16:04:18 +0000 UTC"I'll show you were it is" is another.
Moi465
2025-06-15 15:47:58 +0000 UTCIf you can try to figure out 'what' you don't like about the scene with Brooke, I'd appreciate more details. It would be one thing if you had a neutral reaction, but a 'negative' reaction is a bit surprising. Also, regarding Petra, this part below is meant to imply a more 'marriage-like' relationship, just one where Petra is only with the MC and not involved with the others. Specifically, this part: ----- “Forever?” I whispered. Petra’s entire body felt hot, her thin arms tightly enveloping my head. “Y-Yeah. F-Forever,” she managed. ----- I didn't think it was overly subtle, but maybe it is. I can have them further discuss it at a later point to elaborate on how Petra fits in. Going back to Brooke, is it problematic that her description is somewhat similar to Remedy from the game? (Not the same character, obviously, but kind of curious as to why that would be a bad thing.)
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-15 15:33:30 +0000 UTCGood catch! Fixed it!
Author Kaizer Wolf
2025-06-15 15:27:11 +0000 UTCStill reading but you put "immune to thinks like compulsion".
Moi465
2025-06-15 15:05:00 +0000 UTCAwesome Father's Day gift... thank you.
JayBase
2025-06-15 14:57:33 +0000 UTCIt's not often that I am not a fan of part of your storyline or chapters, but for once, something about the scene with Brooke didnt appeal. So much so, that I was much more interested in the scene with Jessica amd Serenity and also building on how Petra could align with everyone else within the storyline, rather than just the harem. I'm not sure if it was the deliberate repetition in her description or just finding myself comparing to Remedy in the game, who isn't a Dryad, although many similarities and similar phrases are used. (Picky, I appreciate as there is only so much that can be done without repetition, just trying to explain my reaction). Regarding Petra, I'm hoping she is more than just for breeding. I was expecting it to more akin to a marriage offer / inserting a member of Ariana's family into Kai's, to form an emotional and loyal alliance rather than merely numerous offspring. Not intended as criticism, as everyone has their own favourite aspects and lots probably comes down to how much someone likes a character or topic.
Itsasecret
2025-06-15 14:50:28 +0000 UTCI sometimes forget since I usually read the chapter in the email itself but I always try to like on Patreon or leave a comment. I love this series and don’t want you feeling too discouraged to continue, please keep it up 👍
Doryu
2025-06-15 13:58:32 +0000 UTC
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