Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 140
Added 2023-12-31 00:00:01 +0000 UTCDecember 30, 2023
NOTE: Happy early New Year!
This chapter sort of ends on a cliffhanger, but next week should be the follow-up chapter.
Hope you enjoy!
<< Chapter 139 | Ch 1 (Book 1) | Ch 16 (Book 2) | Ch 31 (Book 3) | Ch 46 (Book 4) | Ch 61 (Book 5) | Ch 76 (Book 6) | Ch 91 (Book 7) | Ch 106 (Book 8) | Ch 121 (Book 9)
- CHAPTER 140 -
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FEEDBACK: Thoughts?
1. Thoughts about Claire's change in 'core' aura?
2. Thoughts on the plan for how to deal with Claire and Tracey? (Basically, more casual girlfriends.)
3. Thoughts about how the chapter ended?
Chapter 141 >>
Comments
So the monster is Dante or is there anything I missed?
Carsten
2024-03-06 02:39:52 +0000 UTCI like the Aura shift. And I'll bet that Clarie somehow beats Dante with her resurrection. …is it established that the dagger through the heart is part of the (lifted) vampire curse, or is it more biological?
Arnim Sommer
2024-03-04 17:23:11 +0000 UTCI think it's a sign that despite awakened memories Kai temains fundamentally youngand inexperienced...you can't logically decide how you're going to feel about someone. You just end up feeling, and feelings can't be generated by the brain - only the response to them. One can decide that jealousy is an emotional indulgence, since if you truly love someone and someone else makes them happier then shouldn't you want that for them, but when your first college girlfriend stands you up one night to fuck her ex, you are hit with emotions that make you nauseasly sick for three days logic be damned And you can decide you don't want to date women who already have children because you want your own, but then love hits and you're married with stepkids. At least, that's my experience. I deal with logic and depend on plans and organization in every other facet of my life, but the only trick I've discovered is that only emotions can combat emotions, and the best logic can do is help to martial positive emotions to fight the negative ones. Kai's gonna love and want to be around whoever he loves and wants to be around, moment to moment, master plan be damned. (Kai's CREATOR can know who Kai's going to love and make story outlines for the future, but an older Kai will look back and shake his head at the folly of this younger Kai).
Toodles McGhee
2024-03-04 05:40:35 +0000 UTCI think the “running inner monologue” perspective for the story sometimes prolongs the transition from character work to action sequences and that can rob the twists and threats of some of their dramatic tension. It’s a stylistic thing but I think of other action heavy stories and cliffhangers work best when they are short and shocking. In this chapters case I think leaving off at the red eyes and everyone being shocked/afraid and doing the reveal/ mental dialog at the top of the next chapter would have had more dramatic effect.
Jason
2024-02-19 09:33:54 +0000 UTCWhile I like the plot line you established, I think your pacing was off in this chapter. The Dante thing was just a bit abrupt -- although I do realize that is how surprise emergencies happen. Once upon a time a little boy walked to school and picked some flowers and had a nice talk with his teacher and friends and ate his lunch and got hit by a semi truck that crashed into the cafeteria and then he died.
Florida Reader
2024-01-13 05:43:09 +0000 UTCI’m a little late reading this, I have a feeling that this might be one of Kai’s failed attempts at reincarnating when he was still experimenting, he did say he had created multiple test vessels, this might be one of them.
Pedro Comenda
2024-01-08 19:09:53 +0000 UTCIf Rosa is faster than Kai. That means Donte is also. So how is Kai going to be someone faster and stronger... Group help...
J Bone
2024-01-04 11:57:39 +0000 UTCNo Miriam. Not Michelle.
J Bone
2024-01-04 11:46:28 +0000 UTCI honestly hadn't considered that. Very interesting idea.
Author Kaizer Wolf
2023-12-31 22:39:17 +0000 UTCAs to the more casual girlfriends thing.... not sure, there's a connection with Michelle for sure and in the previous chapters, it seemed ...different, but not casual. Is there room for that kind of relationship in the story or would that be too complicated?
Rhys
2023-12-31 20:02:41 +0000 UTCOuch, but wait, did Rosa go crazy too?
Rhys
2023-12-31 20:00:44 +0000 UTCAfter you pair Rosa with Rebecca, perhaps Rosa turns Rebecca, at her behest?
Alice Duffield
2023-12-31 18:25:26 +0000 UTCGamers: What if we could create our own boss fights? Kaizer Wolf: Hold that thought...
Grant
2023-12-31 16:31:18 +0000 UTCTbh, I'm surprised that Kai's blood doesn't provide some sort or sire concept that allows him to command anyone who has essentially submitted themselves to him, especially as it stops them being able to be compelled by anyone else. If not, there is a real risk of his blood actually being stolen and used, either directly from him or, possibly, indirectly from someone else with his blood.
Itsasecret
2023-12-31 12:02:36 +0000 UTCDidn’t you write in in a previous chapter that MC considered MICHELLE as one of his wives along with Serenity Gwen Gabrielle Natalie and Avery as far as hierarchy in the harem goes and and the two succubi not?
chad osborn
2023-12-31 05:40:40 +0000 UTCIt's obviously the vamp fella that was guarding Rosa. I'm guessing this might start a no blood for men rule. He's an actual fighter with a special beam cannon. I'm more interested in seeing the MC domain which might be coming up if the vamp obliterates Miriams domain.
Moi465
2023-12-31 04:22:36 +0000 UTCBarring my complete misunderstanding, this threat has to be Dante. The fact he was within some of the barriers, already knew Kai & Miriam, and the fact Rosa was mortified pretty much confirms it's him. I do also think it's possible that he isn't fully conscious of what he is doing at the moment. Gabriella, Rachel and Rosa were not in control of themselves when they first woke up. I'm sure differences in physiology and supernatural bloodlines means there are a lot of different reactions upon waking up transformed. But Kai read his aura and determined he was honest and loyal, so I'm pretty sure this is not a conscious betrayal.
Christopher Miller
2023-12-31 04:02:37 +0000 UTCI liked this chapter, mostly. Especially Claire's development. Maybe soon(tm) she will be welcomed as a full member of the family. I do think that's what she needs and wants. The final quarter or so though, is where you popped the clutch, again. Who and why is that awakened vampire attacking now. It feels totally out of left field. no foreshadowing, and little introduction. 1) As I said, I like that change in Claire. 2) I don't mind casual girlfriends, but I don't think Claire should be one permanently. Maybe to start out, but Claire has been as loyal to Kai as anyone, and should eventually be rewarded for it. But it will take time for Gwen and the others to accept her. I don't mind Tracy being casual, however. 3) Again, as I said, that last quarter came out of nowhere and ended too quickly. I think the attack should have started the next chapter, for example.
Edward Collins
2023-12-31 03:02:46 +0000 UTC😍1. 'core' aura: nice😍 😍2. casual: I do not like casual 😍 😍3. Lucifer: very interesting😍
Chris M.
2023-12-31 02:05:23 +0000 UTCHe’s probably in an unconscious frenzy like Gabriella when she first turned or Rachel. The lights on but nobody’s home
Raul Salazar
2023-12-31 01:56:47 +0000 UTCAn awakened vampire..... That Kai created? Rosa's bodyguard maybe? Awfully quick betrayal if so, anybody think?
Rhys
2023-12-31 00:44:11 +0000 UTCI love the story, I just hate the one line entires when something is going wrong. It makes the main character seem like he’s always just stupid or lost when he needs to do something. I understand it’s your writing style? I just think it robs the story of any suspense or tension.
David
2023-12-31 00:17:09 +0000 UTC
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