TGIF: Saved by the Bell

Hello and happy Friday, patrons! How is everyone doing? I’m tired today. I think the fatigue is starting to set in from radiation on top of not sleeping great this week. A perfect power combo for me to be in a couch nest at 2:30 in the afternoon. Ohhhhhh what a familiar nest it is. So many mems. *laughs and screams*

It’s really not bad. It’s that feeling where your eyes want to close and your brain watches them try, whispering “good luck with that” while simultaneously thinking about every possible other thing it can. I’m awful at naps. Never been good at them. I had a great nap once during chemo and that was because I was half unconscious with undiagnosed CDiff. But, damn, did I nap  hard that day.

I only have two days left of radiation. Incredible. Unbelievable. Altogether unreal. My doctor says I’ll get a certificate on “graduation” day. “You can frame it or you can burn it,” she told me on Tuesday. Lol. I’ll also get to ring the bell. I think. Ringing the bell is a ceremonial act when you finish a milestone step of your cancer treatment.

A quick Google tells me that the tradition started about 30 years ago.

“MD Anderson began implementing a bell ringing ceremony at the end of a patient's radiation therapy treatment, adopted from the Navy's tradition of ringing the bell after completing a task that went well. Since every patient has an end point to radiation, this was an inclusive practice for all.”

Okay, well, there’s some history. We LOVE history over here. Always have.

I heard about ‘ringing the bell’ when I first got diagnosed but I never knew at what point it would happen. And I kept forgetting, or felt too shy to ask. I never saw or heard any bells during my chemo sessions so when that was over I thought maybe LA doesn’t do bells. That’s so LA.

But the first day we walked into the radiation facility there was a big, shiny bell hanging on the wall next to the check-in desk. I whispered to Elliott, “they have a bell here.” Both of us looked at each other like 😏. But for the first couple weeks I never saw or heard anyone use the bell so I started to think it was just for show.

Then, a couple days ago I overheard two guys (not my favorite dude duo) talking to a new woman who just started her treatment the week before. They were celebrating the one guy’s 28th and final radiation session (wow!). The woman said he’d get to ring the bell. You could practically hear my ears detach from my head and float over to their conversation to hear more. She mentioned on her first day she got to see someone ring it and that everyone clapped and it was a really sweet moment. Eeeee! So, the bell isn’t just a prop. I could feel myself full on GRINNING under my mask. I couldn’t wait to see this guy ring it. I mean, what’s the ringing protocol anyway? It can’t be an obnoxious, flailing Selling Sunset type of ring? Right? I thought to myself, thankfully I’ll get to collect the data of how this man does it and think about my own ring. But by the time I came back out to the lobby after my radiation session the guys were gone. I missed their beautiful bell moment all together.

DAMMIT.

So, now I know (I think) that I get to ring the bell on Tuesday, but I’ve yet to see anyone do it. I don’t have any real world inspiration for my ring. Do I go with a gentle tap or a medium pang? A solid three count, bing bang boom, or a more muted two, back and forth with a timid rhythm? My gut says to keep it joyfully subtle.

As I understand it, it’s the patient’s choice whether they want to ring it or not. And, in looking up the origin of the symbolic event, the internet also says that patients sometimes have mixed feelings about the pomp and circumstance. Some love it. Some think it’s insensitive to people who will never be able to ring the bell themselves. I can understand that. But I still think I’m gonna ring that damn bell if they let me.

Tim jokingly asked if I was gonna say a few words. LOL, can you imagine?? The cringe I’d crange if I did something like that. I said “should I have an exit line, like DragRace?” I shouldn’t. And I won’t. But if I did here are some quick options.

-Well, I finally got that off my chest

-🎶Radiation all I never wanted, radiation have to get away🎶 (and then I’d SPRINT out of the lobby still wearing my medical gown)

-It was the breast of times…no wait it was the worst of times

-What's got two thumbs and no more cancer? These guys! *points thumbs at boobs*

-Time for me to BUST outta here

-*holds phone to left breast* Well I finally got good CELL service down here

-I got 99 problems, but a tit ain’t one

-Looks like this clown car is back on the road *squeezes each boob* HONK HONK

-I’m sorry, my old tumor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD.

-"Miss Vanjie, Miss Vanjie, Miss... Vanjie"

If you have a quippy exit line, by all means let me know! Ok I’m gonna leave it there and let myself really potato it up on this couch for the night. Don’t forget that for the creeps level and up we have a livestream happening this Sunday! I’ll see y’all there! I gonna try to make some cookies tomorrow in preparation. oooOOoooo0ooo! Enjoy your weekends. And thanks, as always, for being here! 💚G