slow, nonlinear recovery
Added 2025-10-28 18:49:09 +0000 UTChey all, thought i'd give an update for this month.
work-wise, there's not a ton; i've worked a bit on eos (most of that time has been put into the custom gzdoom build, especially with the implosion of gzdoom) and poked at some music projects, but there's not a lot to really talk about in this regard.
generally, i've been starting to feel less at the whims of totally disabling panic attacks and anxiety levels are slowly reducing. the process has been nonlinear and i expect it to take some time still until i arrive back at something close to baseline. i've been working with professional and have some interim treatment that is helping manage the worst of it.
at the moment, my energy levels have been remarkably low; simple tasks take a lot out of me and i need to take lots of breaks to recharge. after doing dishes, laundry, cooking, etc. as a result, most of my energy has been put into the basics and keeping myself healthy and active in the ways i can. generally i end up doing one or two things each day, and it's been hard to make work a consistent part of that. i've been trying to not be so hard on myself about that and acknowledge that it's going to take some time before i'm back to even 50%, letalone 100%.
thanks for waiting, and thank you for your support through this. i am looking forwards to being able to get back to things as i can.
Comments
in this case, it's less about smiling about the good times as it is about unpacking a lifetime of family-induced trauma that one tends to only fully start to reconcile long after you have distance from them; but the process is indeed similar. wishing you the best in your journey.
msx
2025-10-31 21:44:52 +0000 UTCThe process for grieving is long and arduous. I lost my own mom last year and it still hurts, but you can get through this, and smile about all the good times instead of feeling pain. It's going to be a tough patch to get through but I know you can do it, you aren't alone in this :)
Mido Higashikata
2025-10-30 13:25:02 +0000 UTCAlways here. Homies for life.
DJ Awesome
2025-10-29 15:22:44 +0000 UTCrecovering is a full time job and i'm happy to hear you can take the time and space you need to work toward that! may your days be peaceful and your nights restful :)
Lyda
2025-10-28 19:41:11 +0000 UTCGlad to hear you're doing all you can to take care of yourself. It isn't easy. I wish the best to you and to your recovery. 💜
Sage Mount
2025-10-28 19:15:04 +0000 UTC
