end of starchild: the final 2024 update

it is unforunately true: there's no way i'm finishing eos by the end of the year. this is a project that has grown this year in unfathomable ways: i've made an almost entirely new set of sounds (over 600), done a ton of writing, have begun work in creating a huge set of new textures (mouse-painted by myself in photoshop), have greatly expanded the game's feature set on the accessibility front, have redesigned the entire enemy roster, have rewritten nearly every line of scripting for the project (i did this in the last month or so alone)... and so on. it is an enormous project despite its compact nature, and that's not even accounting for the ways in which friends are contributing to wrap this up.

this year, i got into a pretty intense cycle of overworking myself. i'm sure it seems like i'm doing "nothing" because i have nothing to show, but it's gamdev. it's thousands of assets, hundreds of test runs, iterations, etc. all of which i wish to continue to keep under wraps because this is such a special project to me. its secrets need to remain that way. but that's beyond the point. the point is that every time i say i'm dialing back work, i actually end up working more. it's incredibly weird how that happens. this ended up with my caffeine intake increasing greatly, which led to it being difficult to sleep at night, which led to a drink each night to wind down. as you might imagine, this compounded quickly, and i am currently in a position where i need to pump the breaks and turn the dial back on harmful habits that i developed so passively. i need to be ok with this not coming out by the end of the year, because it completely has the ability to hurt me in ways i don't yet understand. i need to dial back the pressure and intensity with which i'm working. i need to actually reconnect with myself and the people around me in a way that is not entrenched in work. i need to stop letting things happen and instead find a way back to doing them.

throughout december, i will be doing significantly less work on eos, and the work i do on it will be less goal-driven and more focused on what brings me joy. i will be doing less work in general in december. i am in desperate need of an actual, honest-to-god refresh and recharge. it is what i need for me, and it is what i need for what is at this point the single largest and most intensely personal project i have ever pursued.

i hope that you can find it in you to continue to support through this, but i completely understand if not. eos is going to be the first game i've truly finished in over a decade, and even if it is not for you, i hope there is something in it that you can appreciate.

thank you, i will talk to you all very soon.