Back in America from Japan (02.06.24)

Hello! I guess I’m back home now. Honestly it’s been a little emotional for me, especially on the train and monorail back to the airport, giving me a view of the tall buildings, streets and canals as I left. My home being so far from what makes this city (Tokyo) great genuinely does hurt. Japan was once like this mythical place I as a weeb wanted to visit for all the anime and stuff as-seen-on anime, but as I got older I became more interested in the day to day life they have available due to how the city is built and how the people are raised. How meticulous they are with recycling, being orderly, polite, reserved etc let’s life there flourish when they’re not working.

I did notice the way people interact with each other there, it was almost alien to see after ten years of living in a not great suburb home in America. People looked both tired and happy, but seeing how they could say see you again tomorrow to someone as they take different train lines home made me long for that kind of day to day life which I no longer have. I did live in New York for quite a while but never as an adult, so it makes me wonder if I would’ve developed differently if I had continued to live that life. My life after that was getting in and out of a car once I reached my destination, having no where to go for when I don’t have the car to myself, having to settle with a pricier life style owning a car or just staying home most of the time if I don’t have one because everything is miles apart in the suburbs.

Anyway I get too caught up about the infrastructure differences, how clean and fairly priced things are because it all just goes together so well. I love this stuff because when you experience it, it makes you want to get home and enjoy a beer after a hard day or work, it gives you more food for your brain when you’re out there getting the exercise in, navigating around people, browsing little mom and pop shops on the way home and not feeling stuck in one place. I was super tired on my trip but I still did draw because so much there excited me, not even the touristy things like shibuyas cross walk or the sky tree. It’s a place that’s meant to accommodate human life properly on a massive scale, and I know there are many other places in the world like this, it was just my vacation and experience there personally.

I’m at a hotel tonight so I’m not actually home. I’m still about two hours away via car drive, so I’m staying at a hotel to get rest before the long highway drive… funny how that comes up again. When I get back I don’t have anything to look forward to that’s specific to my home aside from it being mine I guess so I can cook and not pay for a hotel every day. Most importantly there’s focusing on artwork. My mind teeters a lot on giving up and going beyond for my dreams, I wish I weren’t this way. Maybe I peered into the life others too much, maybe remaining ignorant would’ve let me work in peace, I don’t know but now I want to try my best and leave my home forever one day and find a new one because it’s possible if you have the skills to afford it.

I really wanted to post all of this because it helps store my thoughts kind of like a journal too, I’ll have my memories but my perspective might change, so it’ll be handy to have to keep myself on track. I can’t forget the beautiful things I’ve seen these past three weeks.