September 2021 Set

Hey there everyone! Hope you have been well. Finally got around to shooting this set of pole gear that has easily become my favorite.

This past month has been the busiest I think I have ever been. Been pulling incredibly long streams and working non-stop. I haven't been able to do as much shooting and photography as I have wanted to because of it all. 

Now for the not so fun update on things:

I think I need to have a very honest conversation about the state of things. The past year has been very chaotic for  both mental health and just life in general. On top of that there has been a negative cloud looming over it from this side of things. I am very passionate about my photography and enjoy it thoroughly, from the shooting and designing set themes or the editing process. I love it. 

But then to be sexually harassed through emails and messages on a near constant basis or to have my content stolen and reposted on illegal sites creating a legal mess, it's all begun to take a serious toll on my mental health. This sort of stuff has been happening since I started all this, but it's been a death by a thousand cuts. Each time it kills my passion and love for this. I try to ignore it and focus on what I love, come up with new ideas and get really excited about it. Then I spend days shooting and editing and making sets I'm incredibly proud of, only to have it stolen or get sexually harassing emails. Ignoring it worked for awhile but I really can't anymore. 

Each time I have tried to talk about this stuff, I usually then proceed to get messages or emails saying I deserve it or because I make this content I'm asking for it. Like this is part of it? That's whack and really fucked up.

It's put me in a constant cycle of joy and dread. 

I've come to a point where I've decided over the next few months I'll be evaluating where I want to go with things moving forward and how I want to do it. Until then there will still be content/sets each month, but it'll be more focused on the stuff I enjoy most; i.e. Pole related stuff. A lot of the projects and extra stuff that I had planned I have chosen to put on the shelf for now. As much as I want to go above and beyond, for the sake of my mental health I'm making the decision to take a step back and just focus on the one thing at a time.

I want to make a point to say that most of you have been so lovely and kind to me. I just hate that something that I find joy in has also brought me so much dread. Or that each time I get excited something just kills it. Starting this patreon was one of the best things I have ever done. It got me out of a scary home-life situation and also helped me move an ocean away. It's helped me get my visa and overall it has brought me a lot of joy. But like I said I can't ignore the toll on my mental health.

 If you wish to ask any questions, the discord is honestly the best place to do it. I felt it was important to tell you all what has been going on and as always I will keep you in the loop.

Thank you all again for your continued support. x