Hip Whip Honey Rumble Prologue Chp. 6 WIP UPDATE (First Person POV)

(CW: big hyper butts and farts w/ first person POV narration)

So like I said before, my name is Sasha Vegas, just like the city, and until now I can’t really say I led an important life before I got taken away. I remember sleeping like a rock, where nothing could me at all! I didn’t rustle the sheets because I didn’t have any on me though, so I laid flat on my stomach. My pillows were kept snuggly underneath my chin while I dazed in and out of staying awake with a sense of lightness in my belly. I can’t remember why exactly, but I remember I was waiting for my friend to meet me at the spa for a free massage. She’s around the same size as me, even has a big ol’ butt too! Like, a super huge butt. The kind that’s more like a shelf that also works as a chair. Honestly, it’s a wonder why neither of us don’t get it reduced, but eh? It is what it is.

Sorry, I lost my train of thought there. Me and my friend have known each other for the last year or so, but if someone told me we were secretly sisters, I would totally believe them. In just a month alone, we’ve already gotten to know each other’s smells, our smiles, everything really, all by living together under one roof. I wish I could say who she is now, but she gets flustered whenever I start talking about her butt. When she isn’t working two different jobs by breaking hearts and blasting farts, she’s good at cracking skulls for money. You have to really make her mad if you want her to go crazy though, otherwise she can be cool, even if being around her butt makes everything hot.

Not that I ain’t guilty myself unfortunately, considering we met by getting stuck hip-to-hip in a grocery aisle. The two of us were in the dairy section at the time, so thankfully a stick of butter got us out fine, but I guess it goes to show how my body kinda decides who I have to meet. Aside from stacking plates on my butt, I’m pretty fine with just having everyone call me big or chubby as the kids like to say. There’s another word for that technically, but I don’t like using it. For the past few years or so, I’ve been on my own with the two closest people in my life, and I don’t mean the ones that are eating up my underwear until it’s a thong. I’m talking about both my boyfriend Toni and my roommate who I can always count on to get me out of a pinch or when I can help get free from her shell so we can have a good time. Although sometimes I gotta be honest, it’s hard to remember who’s the real one in charge because even though I’m twenty-six and my sweetie Toni Loaf is twenty-four, my actual roommate is thirty but doesn’t lighten up until she’s had her first drink of the night.

When I perked my head up at last, blinking away those little dots people get when they close their eyes too long, the doorbell rang and I nearly leapt off the ground like a jumping bean! It had to be her, I knew it for sure! I rose to my feet before a stocky smaller lady, one somehow shorter than me since she went to my belly button marched in front of me, huffing crazily.

“Down! Down!” she barked. “Down! Down!”

I dropped back to the wooden floorboards and squeaked, clenching my big bubble butt tight. The muscles in my glutes went numb as the smaller lady quickly stepped around me before I squealed. From the moment she started pulling stuff coming out of my cheeks, I started picking at the ground until it stopped. It stung so much, but I could actually flex my body for once, and best of all, the two-ton weight in my tummy sizzled away. All the better for me to finally let loose after being sleepy for too long.

FRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPRRRRRRPPPPVVVVTTT!!

The entire little room stunk to high hell as the little lady wretched and pulled the collar of her sweater up to her nose. With every corner closing in, it didn’t help that the room itself was the same size as my mom’s garage, only there were at least some windows there, I simply fanned away my butt even while it let out little extra toots to remind me that I couldn’t really do anything. Aside from me having the hugest butt in all the south (or at least, one of the biggest), it’s also got one of the smelliest easily. Whenever I get going, my butt has to make a scene too. Doesn’t matter if I’m shopping or sleeping or especially if I’m eating, my big noisy trumpet’s gotta act up too. 

Again though, I can’t complain too much, even if it’s driven people off sometimes. Usually when I’m bored, I start farting to have a ‘chat’ with someone until another person arrives. Toni says I have to have an intelligent conversation with somebody after I told them, but I never really got it. It’s not like my butt is alive or anything. Sure, I yell at it and spank it like my ex-boyfriend, but that guy sucks. My butt knows at least when to shut up, and it at least looks way nicer, being all round and stuck out. Maybe that’s why Toni likes to give me little spanks sometimes even when I’m not naughty actually. Of course, it makes me rip a couple extra toots, but… it still feels nice.

My ears were turning red when another woman dressed in white with a little gray skirt sauntered behind the little lady, only the other girl easily towered over her no problem. The mistress of the masseuses shook her head to hold back a groan. I met that employee once before when I came to set up a regular acupuncture meeting, but I only saw her for a few seconds before she went into a closet. When our gazes met now however, she quickly grabbed a towel off her back and brought it to her face. She had these big hazel eyes with long black hair and soft golden skin. I think she might have been Asian? I couldn’t tell because soon enough, she turned back to the smaller lady who still kept her collar pulled up to her nose with her brow pinched shut.

“Marion, what did I tell you about sitting around on the job?” the smaller lady asked. 

“Well, I’m sorry Mrs. Bergakoters,” she whispered, “but there’s only just this girl today and we’re still waiting on her friend…”

“That doesn’t mean you can leave the spa unattended!” Mrs. Bergakoters retorted. “It’s bad enough there are still needles in her… er, skin. What if somebody broke in while you were gone?”

“Dustin’s watching the front door.”

“Marion Thorn, we do not trust the people up front when there’s a crisis to handle it themseleves! We need all hands on deck!”

“But you never trained me to handle a crisis!”

“Exactly!”

Another doorbell rang off as Mrs. Bergakoters shook her head at what awaited her. She grabbed another towel from Marion and marched away, muttering something under her breath. Marion herself just groaned and tossed the towels aside on an empty chair nearby before stepping over me where the rest of the needles jutted from behind me.

Before Marion disappeared behind me, her face went totally red, like she farted in front of her crush… while also in front of a group of people. My acupuncture session came to an end as I folded my arms to her grumbling something to herself. This must not be the first time that girl got chewed out by her boss, the poor thing. I know I’ve made my mistakes, with no thanks to where Marion’s hands were at. She pulled the last needle before pushing on my cheek and squealed when she pulled back a second later. Obviously, this must have been her first time grabbing my butt too!

“You know, I think you’re doing a great job so far,” I told Marion with a sincere little smile. My chubby lips curled out as she quit gasping and wiped her forehead with her arm, glancing off to the side.

“U-um, thanks,” Marion murmured, “but to be honest, I’m just starting out. The last person who trained me just moved to another job and, uh, our other masseuse is sick, so I might be a little rusty,”

“That’s okay, I have a coupon!” I exclaimed.

PRPPPT-VRRBBBTT!!

Marion’s nose wrinkled before she plugged it tight and fanned away my butt’s excitement. She gave me a little glare then groaned. “Oh, really? How wonderful…”

Rising back up, she sauntered to the small drawer hanging on the wall and opened the wooden doors while I stayed put. Then for a small second while Marion dug through the cabinets, her nostrils started flaring constantly with her eyes squinted halfway shut. I mean, I couldn’t really blame her since my ass stunk like a million butts, but the thing is that she kept expanding them, as if she were trying to keep smelling it. And besides my boyfriend Toni, I can’t really think of many people out there who actually like my farts, so unless Marion happened to be an eproctophiliac, she must have caught a whiff of her own BO. Unless she showered herself that morning? 

I cupped my hands together as Marion continued to rustle inside the cabinet without even blinking once. She quit sniffing while her eyes stayed halfway shut. At first I thought she might have been looking for something because she didn’t move for a good while. I rattled my fingers and clenched my ass shut before Marion closed it with a small slam and came marching toward me holding a white tub of massage cream to her chest. That was when I collapsed the instant she turned her head to me and let my butt soften again.

“I’m not scared, you know.”

(CONTINUE READING THE STORY THROUGH THE ATTACHED PDF FILE; FULL ARTWORK WILL BE RELEASED FOR MILK CARTON/JUG/TRUCK MEMBERS ONCE THE STORY IS COMPLETE)