Qing's Quest book 2, Chapter 14: A King's Laugh

Qing squirmed under Jorik’s intense gaze.

How the fuck should I know what the king said? This guy is crazier than a panda on cocaine.

So he just shrugged.

“Well? Guess!” Jorik asked, tone sharp.

“After seeing the king’s current court, maybe something about jobs and hands?” Qing said with a shrug.

Jorik’s hand rose towards his eyepatch, but Knut leaned forward and grasped it with a smile. “Oh, please do tell him, Jorik. It’s such a revelation.”

A snarl flashed across the man’s face as he glared at Knut’s hand, but then he was all smiles again. He leaned in and said in a dramatic voice, “As he munched on a cookie drenched in my blood, the king looked at me, bleeding on the floor, and said, ‘Make me laugh.’ Then he tossed my severed hand onto the floor.”

“What?” Qing said, loudly. His eyes rose. It had been weirdly loud. The kirathaane had gone quiet, with not a roll of dice nor a haggle of price. Everyone stared at Jorik, leaning in as if hanging on the man’s every word.

“That’s pretty crazy,” Qing said, and he saw Morgana grimace.

A look of anger flashed across Jorik’s face, but again, it settled into a smile. “And funny, no?”

“What happened next?”

“The sound my flesh made, splattering onto the wet floor…I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, but it unlocked something inside of me.” Jorik took a deep breath, eyes closed. “A place of power and stillness where pain couldn’t reach me. From that moment, I thought of myself as dead. My life having ended. With that revelation came clarity, and I entered a space in my mind where the world couldn’t intrude.” He smiled nostalgically. “Keep in mind that I didn’t know it was King Sharyar who sat before me. I thought it was a palace cook. Having heard King Sharyar was harsh with the staff, I picked up my severed hand and introduced it as the king’s hand, pretending it had a voice of its own, like a hand-puppet.” Jorik made a talking gesture with his right hand, and wiggled his head. “Get it? Hand puppet?”

Qing smiled as best he could.

“The king’s hand complained about being detached, and that being caught red-handed as a ruler was bad, but the real problem came when he couldn’t put his hands up in surrender.” Jorik chuckled. “Then I knelt down and pretended to be a chef, begging the king’s hand’s forgiveness for burning the cookies. Now, I’d always had a knack for talking my way out of things, but as I was bleeding out in the palace kitchen, it was the performance of a lifetime.”

Jorik rose from the table and roamed around the room. “The king’s hand grabbed me by the throat and hauled me to my feet. King Sharyar chuckled. When my own hand slapped me in the face, he laughed. Then the king’s hand poked me in the eyes, and he doubled over. Finally, as I lay writing on the floor, hand spanking my bare buttocks, the king called for me to stop, because he couldn’t breathe.” Jorik returned to the table and sank onto a chair. “There, on my hands and knees on the bloody kitchen floor, that’s when the light enveloped me. I remember it clear as day, the feeling of icy coldness rushing through my body, filling it with energy, before gathering down my arm. Right before my very eyes, the bleeding slowed, then stopped. I cried then, laying on the floor as my hand re-grew. Instead of dying, I was reborn. That’s when the king introduced himself.” Jorik took a deep breath. “For the next twenty-five years, through conquests and war, famine and feast, I stayed loyally by his side as the king’s hand, working to keep him entertained and humble. I partially succeeded. But no matter how stressful the days were…” He stood and put his stump in his pocket before hopping up onto his chair and pulling it back out, now five fingered once again. “…all I had to do was wiggle fifteen fingers, and the king would burst out in a laugh!”

Knut clapped, and the rest of the room joined. Jorik bowed courtly from on top of the chair, thanking them all, before sitting back down.

“I’d nearly forgotten how good an audience you were, Knut. You always did bring out the best in me.”

“Fifteen fingers?” Qing asked.

“What about it?” Jorik said.

“You kept your severed hand?”

“You wouldn’t expect a jester to tell you all his tricks now, would you?”

Before Qing could reply, Knut elbowed him.

“Now tell me again, what was it I could do for you?” Jorik asked.

“You mentioned our friend Rufus,” Knut said, tone nonchalant.

“Oh yes, my sources tell me a skinny foreigner has been spotted in the palace. A guest of the king, they say. The name Rufus has been mentioned.”

“A guest of the king?” Qing said, sharing a glance with Knut.

Shit. Then the king is truly corrupted. What does that make Jorik? Is he in leagues with the devil as well?

“Yes. Oh, by the way, where is Jenny?” Jorik asked. “I would never have thought the two of you would separate.”

“Funny you should mention her,” Knut said. “She is also a guest of the king. We’ll be going to see her shortly.”

“Oh excellent. Do give her my regards when you see her.”

“We will. And thank you for the story,” Qing said. “It sounds like a…formative event.”

“Oh, it was hands down the most shocking experience of my life.”

Qing smiled weakly.

This guy is nuts.

***

They needed to wait for Jorik to leave before they could discuss the next steps, and so Knut and Jorik spent the morning meal reminiscing about old times. Qing pretended to nurse a hot cup of tea, back leaned against the wall, his smile straining his face.

If Jorik finds out we are wanted, will he sell us out to the king? Has Rufus already fled after our appearance at court? If not, can we even get to him? I need to get to level fifteen asap so I can use the Petra’s Tear amulet.

He took out the amulet and fiddled with it, remembering pulling it from the butcher’s bloody corpse.

Item: [Petra’s Tear, Level 15, Legendary] has been added to your inventory.

The physical manifestation of Petra Chamber’s unbroken spirit, one half of the horrific fusion known as the Butchers. This radiant gem, birthed in the throes of her tragic end, encapsulates her undying resilience. Petra’s Tear shimmers with ethereal light, and is not only a memento of heroism but also a bastion of protection. It allows the wearer to cast a powerful shield once per day, capable of blocking even the mightiest of attacks.

Use: Casts a powerful shield once per day

Part of the Chamber’s Set

Set bonus (1/2)

Increases daily use to two.

(Amulet, Accessory)

He sipped the tea, warmth spreading throughout his body.

I need to figure out how to use the shield. Will it stop fall damage? Is it direction based?

His foot was tapping a rat-a-tat on the floor when three young children sprinted through the front door, gleefully shouting Jorik’s name. They had skipped the queue, and the bouncers did nothing except ruffle the youngest one’s hair as he sprinted by. Upon hearing his name, a new look passed across Jorik’s face. One of fondness, reminding Qing of how his grandpa used to look at their dog.

“Ah, my young couriers have arrived. Excuse me, I have business to attend to.” He stood and gave a bow. Then he lifted his eyepatch and flicked it upwards, revealing both eyes as he rushed to the children, arms spread wide.

Qing leaned over the table as he retreated. “Knut, I don’t care how crazy the guy is. Great job bringing us here.”

Knut smiled. “He is…unique. But little goes on in the royal parts of Zylphadia without Jorik knowing about it.”

Qing nodded. “Now that we know Rufus is in the palace, we need to go in hard and fast before he leaves. That means we go today.”

“Hold on,” Morgana said, hissing. “We need time to prepare! Unless you want to walk straight up to the palace and be shot on sight? Even you aren’t impervious to arrows.”

“Remember our chat, Morgana,” Qing said, fists tightening. “Think of Cleo and what they could be doing. Every moment we delay is another moment she is in their clutches.”

“But—”

“We go today.”

Morgana crossed her arms. “We should at least find out where in the palace Rufus is staying. Don’t you realise how massive it is?” She nodded at Taj. “Back me up here. It’s like a maze, isn’t it? We don’t have time to run around like headless chicken.”

“Well…” Taj said, wringing his hands.

“Listen,” Knut said, interrupting. “The priority should be to free Jenny, and then we find and take out Rufus. We can’t leave her to die.”

Qing nodded. “Yes, but…”

“No buts. Even if Rufus is alone, which I doubt he will be, there are a thousand guards in the palace. Morgana and I can’t hold them, but if we have Jenny, we can buy you the time needed to save Cleo.”

“But—”

“No buts.”

Qing held up his hands. “Listen. What if we go to free Jenny and the guards rally, allowing Rufus to flee with Cleo? What would Jenny want?”

“Excuse me,” Taj said, “but aren’t you afraid of the guards killing you all?”

Qing exchanged glances with Knut and Morgana. “Well…it seems that the king is in league with the Devil. And that’s with a capital D. I don’t want to kill innocents, but those who stand on the side of evil will receive no mercy from me. And that includes the palace guards. I’m sure you know a lot of them, Taj… But I will not be holding back. I’m sorry.”

“Is…is he serious?” Taj asked, looking at Morgana.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “It won’t be a good day for the palace guards. But…” she looked pointedly at Qing. “I still think we need more information before storming in.” She held her hands up. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ll come, but…I prefer it not to be a suicide mission. What’s the point of salvation if I don’t get the chance to enjoy it afterwards?”

Knut held up a finger. “Hold that thought. Taj, where is your family?”

“Those who remain, I sent into the desert many years ago after the king took and killed my wife.”

“What for?” Qing asked.

Taj waved his hand. “It is in the past. Let us focus on the present.”

Qing nodded. “Well, tell me your plans, then. I don’t care if I have to knock a hole through the palace wall. We go today. Where Rufus is, Cleo must be as well. And if she isn’t, I’ll tear him apart until he tells.”

“If we just get a little time…” Knut said, and Morgana nodded.

“What about you, Taj? You mentioned you could get us in?”

“Yes. I know a route that might get you into the palace unnoticed. There’s a sewer entrance, barely guarded.”

“Why?” Morgana asked.

“The king had it made so he could come and go hidden, to walk among his subjects. It has not been used for a long time.”

“How do you know it?”

“Only because of my work for the princess. If an enemy were to assault the palace, that is the exit through which we were to flee.”

“Where in the palace do we get through the sewer entrance?” Knut asked.

“Centrally, near the king’s throne room.”

“How many guards?” Morgana asked.

“Only a few for us to sneak by. It’s a secret, after all.”

“Only two or three guards?” Qing said. “Forget about sneaking past them. I’ll knock them out instead. Then we don their uniforms and walk straight in. Taj already has one.”

“But what do we do inside? We still won’t know where to go,” Morgana said.

“We’ll be masquerading as royal guards,” Qing said with a grin. “We just ask for directions.”

It’ll be just like on the death star. Except there are no trash compactors!

“Then, depending on who is closest, Rufus or Jenny, we’ll go there first.”

“But what if they sound the alarm?” Morgana asked.

“It’s hard to sound an alarm when they are knocked out.”

Knut nodded. “So, we sneak in, disguised as guards, free Jenny, find Rufus and kill him, grab Cleo, and then leave. Easy peacy.”

“How exactly will we be leaving?” Morgana asked.

“Either back out through the sewers or…Knut, the portal, the one you said is guarded. Do you know how to get us there from any part of the palace?” Qing asked.

“Yes. I do. The queen…she liked to meet nearby,” Knut said with a wistful smile.

“Well, we still need to get there without being spotted,” Morgana said. “Which means we need to get you dressed up as a local. Because that breastplate is almost as eye-catching as your rock moon pants.”

“Rockstar.”

“Whatever.”

“Fine.”

“How much money you got?” Knut asked.

“If we sell the golden daggers here, I think we’ll be fine,” Qing said.

Morgana looked over at the wares laying along the wall and grinned, rubbing her hands together. “Let’s go shopping.”