February Review

Good evening everyone! What happened to February? I swear the month just started. 

A few things happened this month. I discovered a flat color style that a lot of people seem to really enjoy. I have several commissions for March booked for that, so be expecting those.

I also had a very, personal, experience last week that I will share.

I had a dream Feb 21st and my dad was in it. For those of you who don't know, he passed due to lung cancer in 2017, and has been pretty absent since.

We were hanging out in the field across from my childhood home (and the one I'm still currently residing in). He had a new motorcycle that he was just hanging out on. We had been hanging out for awhile, flying around the field and whatnot. When we landed he pulled out a white ring box and gave it to me. I didn't hear him speak, but I knew he was giving it to me as an engagement ring for Kayla.

It was pretty. The band was silver, with a diamond in a raised setting on top of a polished resin box that rested on the band. The resin was clear and inside it on one side was a swoosh of nature green, that looked like it had some leaves inside it and on the other side was a swoosh of blue/green that resembled moving water. Together they swirled in that yin yang pattern and if you looked at them they looked like they were moving.

I'm the next scene I was sitting at a desk, like they have in school, and Kayla was approaching. Dad was near by as I told her I had something for her. I was going to propose with the ring in front of him. It was then I woke up.

I messaged Kayla and told her about the dream, and that she is dad approved. I told her then that I didn't get that feeling you get when you know someone who has passed is there with you in that moment, but I knew that's how he feels about her. So I got up and went along with my day.

I had showered, had breakfast, and was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when my mom asked me if I could gather the trash from upstairs so she could burn it today. I told her I would and bring it down for lunch. She got snippy and started saying how she wanted it this morning because she planned on burning before lunch. Normally I'd start arguing with her (our relationship has gone way down hill, more on that later) but I calmly told her that I was going to get right to work and that I figured I could do it after lunch.

She kept talking over me about her day plans and the moment I realized she wasn't listening I got this really warm euphoric feeling around me that reminded me of my childhood. She continued talking about... I don't even know because her words had drown out at this point. Next thing I know I feel an energy wrap around me from behind in a hug. I leaned forward trying not to cry because I knew it was him. It was dad.

I immediately went out to feed the horses and it was here, in the building, where I broke down and cried the ugliest cry I have cried in years. I was voice to texting Kayla (and my sister) about my very recent experience and every time I got to the part about feeling his hug I cried. (I'm tearing up just typing it now.)

It took me about twenty minutes to gather myself before going back in the house and going upstairs to my room. I printed this picture, placed it in a frame that I had gifted a drawing to him in, wrote this same story on some paper, dated it, and stuck that behind his photo with the art. He now sits on my altar and I'm extremely aware that he knows what's going on. I've been asking for him and he finally came. I feel extremely blessed and not scared of what's to come for Kayla and I this year. He's watching and he approves.

I hope I get to see him again soon. I really miss him.

It's been a very emotional month in my world, that's for sure.