Devil Mother Makes Satanic Offering

So, now that I have let you under the skirt of my old soundcloud channel, it's story time.

This song I wrote while under the surveillance and imprisonment of my ex's mother in Wisconsin. I am not exaggerating. She monitored my food, talked about me in 2nd person at the dinner table, drove me to and from work. 

Oh, and my ex had an Oedipus complex. Not literally, but kinda. So it was always Mommy knows best. 

One day, I journaled in red pen and big letters came out: "HEY, FUCK YOU! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" and sang it like a mantra. 

Two years later, Mommy's boy and I break up (shocker). His entire family came to help him move out of our apartment and destroyed the place. Garbage everywhere, clothes everywhere, the works. While I was cleaning up and moving out, I realized I had all my journals but one: the one from my entire time in Marshfield, Wisconsin. All of my journals are important to me, duh, BUT this one may have been the most dear to me since it's really when I started developing my musical identity and learning guitar. Alas, I assumed it would turn up somewhere. 

Flash forward to 2021, I receive a text from mommy's milk boy. Out of the blue. We had been broken up for 3 years and I had moved 7 times, lived in France, lived in my car, my dog had died, I was living in California. So, what the hell was he texting me for? 

The journal. 

him: "Hey! Are you missing a grey journal with the Eiffel tower on it?"

me: "Omg! YES"

him: "Well, my mom burnt it."

He proceeds to tell me that she had stolen it to "check in on me", read it from cover to cover and was so horrified by what she read she threw it into the fire pit, poured gasoline on it, and burnt it. 

I was so awe, that I could only laugh. I wasn't even mad. Because the image of this woman, this 55 year old-midwest-pope-up-her-ass woman STEALING my journal, rage-reading 200 pages and being so compelled to her core to BURN it, brought me justice. Somewhere in her lizard brain she new that she was a hardcore sinner. She knew that the words on those pages were as pure as a 19 year old girl finding a healthy outlet of expression  And she had to hear back every car ride, every dinner conversation from my point of view. Along with any rage fantasies I had about seducing my ex's Dad just to fuck up their family.

Once she finished reading it, her hands probably melted and steam filled the room as she put on a black cloak. In the dead of night, while everyone was asleep, she most likely walked outside to the fenced in backyard of their house at the end of the cul-de-sac, dropped the journal in the fire pit, cut her hand for blood, and lit the match.

All I will ever remember of that woman, is the flames on her face as she silently watched that journal burn until it was gone.  

My ex tried to convince me she did me a favor, freed me even. In some ways, she did. Every Christmas by the fire, every 4th of July barbecue she will look deep into the flames and know who she really is. The Devil.

soundcloud link: 

https://soundcloud.com/user-916789880/let