Kayley and her Glory Holes, a discussion

INTRODUCTION - This isn't a story per se, so much as an author's comment on a part of an ongoing story. I have some nervousness writing this comment. I feel that if I have to explain things, then the story isn't doing its job - it shouldn't need explanation or discussion, you should just get it. It's like someone explaining how their joke is funny. If they have to explain then it just isn't.

But then I thought, there might be some worth, and some extra interest for the readers to hear what my thoughts and intentions, and my technical and literary decisions and process is in writing the story. Why I make one choice and not another, what I'm driving at, etc. So I may do this from time to time.

Anyway, Kayley and Sam is a story series I'm doing. It would really help for you to read it, to appreciate this discussion. Suffice to say, it's a 'Cuckolding' story involving two innocent youths, Kayley and Sam, who encounter a dark figure, Leroy, who leads them down the path.

Along the way, Leroy brings Kayley to a peep show where she discovers glory holes, and after that, she starts going secretly on her own, four or five times. Only three of her glory hole adventures are described, others are alluded to off camera.

One of my readers wondered what the point of the glory hole stuff was, and felt it was an unnecessary distraction. I disagree, and I'll try to answer this.

DISCUSSION: You raise some interesting issues, so let me offer a few thoughts.

First, I don't write for my wider audience, I write for myself. In fact, I make a few choices that I'm worried my audience will dislike. I recognize I've got an audience and that there's some communion, some influence there. But I really feel driven to tell my story my way.

This may sound silly, since I am a mere 'literary' pornographer, but I believe in my story, I believe in my characters, and I really want to feel, or want them to feel authentic. I want the story to feel right, if that makes any sense. And so, it goes this way and that, it takes its turns and digressions, characters get showcased in various ways, ideas and kinks are explored.

Some of my readers offer suggestions, and if they click with me I'll take them or file them away for future use, in this story or in another story.

But some of them have feelings as to where they want the story to go, and while I respect that, I have my own road map or narrative.

This section with Sam and Kayley out for an adventure and the last with Kayley solo at the Glory Hole may feel like a swerve, and a derailment, when you really want to just get to the kick-ass cuckolding.

So I thought I'd speak to some choices. My bottom line is that I'm in a genre, I'm writing raunchy porn. That's okay with me. I enjoy it. But that contains certain restrictions - that the characters have to have a lot of sex. Sex is the vehicle for the story.

I don't really write about Sam and Kayley's parents, or their jobs, or their picnics, or all the things they do when not having sex. I'll do it if it feeds the narrative and leads to sex. But let's face it, if I dwelled on the rest of their lives, you'd all be bored and go 'hey, when is someone going to fuck!'

And you'd be right. I have to develop their characters, their ideas and personalities, around the sexual core. I'm okay with that.

I think Kayley's character comes across really strongly, she's a hot little number, but I think you can easily get an idea of how she is with family, hanging out with friends, even at work.

So let's talk about Kayley and her glory hole scene, and what's going on there, and why I made a point of saying this was her fourth or fifth visit, but don't depict all of them.

I don't feel I need to depict every one, and I think it would undermine the narrative. Instead, I depict three glory hole scenes for her.

The first one is with Leroy - he takes her there and introduces her, and then he's shocked and surprised, because she gets right into it. She finds a pleasure and an altered state of consciousness that he didn't expect. Okay, so that whole scene shows how controlling and manipulative Leroy is, but it also opens up a side to Kayley, a sexual side that takes Leroy by surprise.

The second Glory hole scene takes place after the first cuckolding, and it's Kayley's alone. It's a reaction to the cuckolding and the intense and complex emotions of her participation. Okay, cool.

Then I skip over the next few. Why? Because I don't need to. Nothing much happens, she goes, she sucks a few cocks, she feels better, and she goes home.

Why even have them?

Why mention it?

How does referring to these offscreen incidents help the story?

Why not have the encounter I depict be the next one, the third, starting with Leroy, the second her alone?

Because, I wanted to mention the intervening ones to show she's rapidly establishing a pattern. She's addicted. If I wrote second solo trip to the glory hole, I just tell the audience she's fucking around. If I establish she's going there constantly, and this is her fourth or fifth solo... that tells us something is going on with her.

And this visit is not "suck a few cocks, feel better, go home." Things happen. She defends her turf - showing she's not mindless. She presses the boundaries - she strips, she dances, she fucks the guy, she barebacks and she kisses.

So this really advances the narrative, advances who she is sexually... she's going further and further.

But to get her to the place where she's realistically comfortable enough with herself, with being in the booth that she is going to do all these risky and crazy things... she has to be comfortable going there.

So this can't be her second solo... she's got to have been going there regularly. So again, I put that in. I don't have to go into detail, I just have to establish that she's been going regularly enough she's willing to experiment, to expand the boundaries.

And the boundaries that get expanded are interesting - she takes off her clothes, she gives a dance, she sucks and pulls a condom off, then she fucks and she insists on bareback and coming in her, she takes pictures of her fucked semen leaking pussy and shares them with two strangers.

All of this is fucked up and extreme, but I want to talk about two things.

First - for want of a better word, Semen-Addiction. When we first encounter her, she's insisting on condoms with Leroy and Derek, and going for STD tests. Okay, she got used to barebacking Leroy. But that's one guy.

But think about this - every time she's gone to the booths, she's swallowed cum. It's an intrinsic part of the booth experience for her, it's a marker of her satisfaction, to make men come, and to feel that physical proof - the way the cock gets hot, it hardens, the head swells, the spurt into the mouth and the unique taste. It's linked. So when she fucks in the booth, she still wants that male ejaculation, the linkage crosses over from sucking to fucking, without her even noticing. She has a need to physically own men's orgasms.

Which is why she's compelled to bareback Bruno and take his semen from him, even if she's already come.

It's also why she's so conflicted and secretive about it with Sam immediately after. She did something, she didn't even wholly understand why she did something. If she's having trouble explaining it to herself, she can't explain it to Sam. At least, not right there.

There's stuff going on in her head around this, which I show in her actions, but not necessarily in her inner monologue, because that monologue doesn't quite know what's going on.

Here's the other thing - she fucked a guy bareback. She gave away pictures of her cunt. She stripped and danced for a stranger. Of all the fucked up things she did, the one thing that bothers her?

The kiss!

The Kiss crosses the line for her, because its not sexual to her, its personal, and her time in the glory holes is about avoiding the personal. A kiss is romance and relationship. A kiss is reserved for Sam. It happens with Leroy because he's wedging a relationship. It can happen in other circumstances.

But this time, here, the kiss fucks her up. It's too much intimacy, too much human contact, and she doesn't want that.

But the second major thing, the most important thing, and the reason that it has to be the fourth or fifth visit, is that here is where she spills her guts.

She talks and acknowledges she's got a weird addiction to glory holes... which means I have to allude to more history than I've shown. She can't talk about or acknowledge an addiction if she's only been there solo twice. But if this is her fourth or fifth visit in a relatively short span, she has to acknowledge there's something going on.

But it goes further, she opens up about the weird stresses and complexities in her life, in a not entirely honest way, a little self serving, a little uncomprehending, but she finally talks and explains to herself and the audience and the guy on the other side, that she's become an addicted glory hole cocksucker because she's can't handle the emotional complexities of her sex life and needs an escape.

And she doesn't do it very well.

You can almost read the mind of the guy on the other side of the wall as he's thinking "Holy shit, lady, you're completely out of your mind, aren't you? You're just mental!"

That's because she doesn't wholly grasp what's going on with her, she's not being entirely honest with herself, she doesn't feel like she's in control of her life and things bother her but she doesn't know what to do, so she's drifting along.

The point is for we, the audience, to understand what's going on in Kayley's head better than Kayley understands herself.

Anyway, that's what I tried to do there. From this point on, you can take it as a given that she'll be showing up there off camera, any time she feels particularly stressed. I'm not necessarily going to show them all.

I have written at least one more glory hole scene, late in her addiction, and its epic. And I have ideas for a couple more. But mostly, it'll be off camera.