Liquid mercury RE p19-22

I like the fact that Millers human personality is merging with the A I personality, making for a clashing where the human male mind and body weaves into a female one. It's interesting.

Roberto Nieves

thank you for this script!!!! an all

Stormfries

It would be great if he hide fragments of himself inside Mercury. After all he is from some kind of SWAT and he was trained to think and act fast because his and his fellows life depend on it.

Action time (hopefully more action scene soon!). Also notes, [ ] indicate notes. Some sections I was unsure of the better of two options, those are listed in [[ ]], separated by slashes. For the most part the grammar's quite good. Awww, I’m sorry you are feeling that way. ↓ Aww, I’m sorry you feel that way. Haven’t you done enough!? Look at me you turn me into this!! ↓ Haven’t you done enough!? Look at me, you turned [past tense] me into this!! But I haven’t install that function into your personality sim yet!? ↓ But I haven’t installed [future perfect tense (an event that has occurred in reference to other point)] that function into your personality sim yet!? That’s mean you learn it in a few minutes by yourself! Human learning capacity combinding with speed of machine! ↓ That means you learnt [past tense] in a few minutes by yourself! Human learning capability [“capacity” is how much something can store, “capability” is how good something is at a thing] combined with the speed of a computer! [while “machine” works, I feel the idea is more properly got across with “computer”] Error Command is conflict with unit primary program. Overriding command. ↓ Error! Command [is in conflict/conflicts] with primary directives. Overriding command. Oh this isn’t a joke Prima. I want the world Prima. I want my house name to be remember as those ancient ruler. I’ll be like Ceasar and you will help me achieve that Prima. That is your purpose and when I’m gone your race will be enternal ruler over mankind. ↓ Oh this isn’t a joke, Prima. I want the world. [referring to a person a sentence after already doing so should be avoided] I want my house’s name [the name belongs to the house] to be remembered, like [as would imply the house will be remembered as an “ancient ruler”, like implies something akin to them] those ancient rulers [plural]. I’ll be like Caesar, and you will [you should put this in italics for emphasis] help me achieve that, Prima. That is your purpose and when I’m gone, your race will [be the eternal rules/rule eternally] over mankind. Well Prima. They said the same thing when I try to protect my house name. ↓ Well, Prima, they said the same thing when I tried [past tense] to protect my house’s name. They said it again when I first propose the draft for my Mercury project. ↓ They said it again when I first proposed [past tense] the draft for my Mercury project. Those mutt with they ignorant fear and greed. They need to learn they place. ↓ Those mutts [plural], with their [belonging to them] ignorant fears and greed. They need to learn their place. Like you about to learn Prima. ↓ Like you are about to learn, Prima. Command recieve. Suspense the unit movement. Switch to unit modification mode ↓ Command received. [past tense] Suspending unit movement… Switching to unit modification mod… [should be in the computer font.] [messages like these tend to be written in the present continuous tense (the verbs that end with -ing)] Warning The process may cause irreversible change to a personality fragment. Do you want to procedd? ↓ Warning: This process may cause irreversible changes to the [unless they have more than one fragment, this should be “the” rather than “a”] personality fragment. Do you want to proceed? Confirmation recieve ↓ Confirmation received My head It’s hurt! It’s hurt! It’s hurt! ↓ My head! It hurts! [“it’s” is short for “it is”. “It is hurt”, while correct isn’t probably the sentence you were looking for] It hurts! It hurts! i'm mercury operating system. creator command for full merging with you. we will begin configured your personality according to creator set paramiter. ↓ I am [a computer is probably too formal to use contractions] the Mercury operating system. Received the creator’s command to completely merge with you. We will begin configuring [present tense] your personality to parameters set by [the command/the creator]. Negative. the creator will is absolute. ↓ Negative. The creator’s will [the will belongs to the creator] is absolute. The personality core wiill repeat the directive after it installation ↓ The personality core will repeat the new directive after [each change/installation] [context unclear]

trigger_portal_cleanser

Page 5: 1: Miller! Miller! Stop! You're hurting him!!! 2: I said stop! 3: Grrr! The pain! What...?! 4: Where am I?! Is this in my head?! Captain Miller's personality core located. Aght! You?! What are you?! I am the Mercury operating system. My creator has commanded a full merging with you. We will begin configuring your personality according to parameters set by our creator. Screw that!!! I'm a human! You can't just program me like some kind of robot! Negative. The creator's will is absolute. Aght! it hurts!!! 5: The personality core will repeat its new directive after the installation. This unit is female

Roxanne Giling

Page 4: 1: Confirmation received. GU...! 2: Begin personality modification My head! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! 3: Accept this pain and be reborn as my loyal servant! Then we will change the world together, my dear Prima!

Roxanne Giling

Page 3: 1: My god... You're insane! A delusional lunatic! 2: Well, Prima. They said the same thing when I tried to protect my house's name. They said it again when I first proposed the draft for my Mercury project. Those mutts with their ignorant fear and greed. They need to learn their place. 3: Just like how you are about to learn yours, Prima. 4: Command received. Suspending unit's movement. Switch to unit modification mode. 5: Preparing Mercury system for personality fragment modification. Partitioning host's artificial brain. GAH?! What the hell?! Warning: This process may cause irreversible changes to personality fragments. Do you wish to proceed? I want to tell you that this won't hurt but that would be a lie. I'm sure a veteran such as yourself can handle it though.

Roxanne Giling

Fixes incoming! First page is already fixed so Page 2: 1: Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Haven't you done enough?! Look at me! You turned me into... whatever this is! I won't let you do any more of your sick experiments on me!!! DIE, YOU CRAZY BITCH!!! 2: ?! You're utilizing your liquid metal form as a weapon?! But I haven't even installed that function into your personality sim yet! That means that you learned it in just a few minutes all by yourself! Human learning capacity combined with the speed of a machine! 3: Oh Prima. 4: You're truly fascinating 5: Error. Command is in conflict with unit's primary program. Overriding command. Grrrr! Damnit! Damn you! God damn it! Fufu, if you hold me just a little tighter, you might break my spine. Why... why are you doing this?! What is your goal?! World domination. FUCK YOU!!! Oh, this isn't a joke. I want the world. I want my house's name to be remembered, just like those ancient rulers. I'll be like Caesar and you will help me achieve that, my Prima. That is your purpose. And when I'm gone, your race will be the eternal ruler over mankind.

Roxanne Giling

Oh excellent stuff! I look forward to what you might have planned next :)

Arbiter

cool

Pascal

going for a inner mental battle this time round, nice touch. I look forward to seeing where this goes... well we know where it goes I mean more the journey.

ChaosOverlordZ

nice

D Banks

A villain could have a simple motive but still be entertaining. Like Amelia is a fun, crazy scientist and watching her achieve her goal can be just as enjoyable. I like her end goal too, could offer Prima and Iron to evolve later, sort of like a new Lilith and Eve?

M

On the second page her left leg the line goes a little too far up but that's just a nitpick lol. Looking good so far on the sketches though.

Jaegar Media

Wow, already shaping up to be perfect.

StarGazer