LIquid mercury RE sketch p6-9

I don’t think the one who commissioned it will care about it

Vinicius Paiva

Is Dr. Amelia a lesbian?

Vinicius Paiva

No it's a comissions character and Elise it's kinda comissioner OC.

ibenz009

Thank you! I probably change the metal description part.

ibenz009

Excited to see where this goes. Well, of course some poor git gets turned into a metal girl, but I mean— I’m sure you get the point. Anywho, grammatical edits. Text in [square brackets] are notes. Why Why are you doing this → Why— [the Em Dash, used to denote interruption] why are you doing this? Aght! You kill my team for what? Is this some kind of your sick experiment? → Argh! [“Aght” isn’t a sound I know, it’s fine if you want to keep it, but “argh” is probably the sound you’re looking for] You killed [past tense] my team, for what? All I did was doing as my contract to the company Mr Miller. To create cutting edge weapon using the funding that company provided. I didn’t say that I’m gonna give it to them. → All I did was as my contract to the company stated, [comma before addressing someone] before Mr. [a matter of hot debate. As your writing skews closer to American English, a period should be added after an abbreviated honorific (“Mr.”, or “Mrs.”, etc.)] Miller. You mean that blob of metal!? And how did you know my name!? → You mean that blob of metal!? And how do you know my name!? We work at same company Mr Miller. All I have to do is look up your file from company record. → We work at the same company, [comma before addressing someone] Mr. Miller. All I had [past tense] to do was look up your file from the company record. Now back to your question Yes this child is the fruit of my project. You team had been test for combt ability to see if you are quality meterial tha worth my time or not. Mr Miller. I need a human subject for the next stage of my experiment → Now back to your question, yes this child is the fruit of my project. Your team has just been tested for combat ability. To see if they are quality material, worthy of my time. You see right now my Mercury is just a tool. It can only recieve order and execute it. No adaptation No creativity whatsoever. I want somthing more than a simple mindless AI. I want something that can think outside the box. That’s why I need a human for my next stage. And I refuse to use low quality meterial That’s the reason for the test. → You see, right now, my Mercury is just a tool. It can only receive orders and execute them. No adaptation nor creativity whatsoever. I want something more than a simple, [comma when listing adjectives] mindless AI, I want something that can think outside the box. That’s why I need a human for the next stage. And I refuse to use mediocre material. That’s the reason for the test. But first I have to make sure that you people don’t try anything foolish → But first, I have to make sure that you people don’t anything foolish. Wait…! What..! Gah A security bot? → Wait! What the…? Gah, a security bot? Dammit your crazy bitch → Dammit, you crazy bitch. Boss hang in there → Boss, [comma after addressing someone] hang in there. To be honest at first I just dismiss your team as a buch of company attack dog. So I expect no survivor → To be honest, at first I just dismissed [past tense] your team as a bunch of company attack dogs. So, I expected [past tense] no survivors. [plural, refers to a group] But you prove me wrong Mr Miller. Thank to you I’m now have three nice raw meterial to play with. → But you proved [past tense] me wrong, [comma before addressing someone] Mr. Miller. Thanks to you, I now have three nice pieces of raw material to play with. Now which one of you will be my test subject…? → Now, which one of you will be my test subject…? Hey hey I’m a leader here Whatever your sick plan you have in mind you do it to me → Hey, hey! I’m the [“the” is used here to denote the uniquity of the following word] leader here. Whatever sick plan you have in mind, you do it to me. That’s choice it’s not for you to make Mr Miller. The privilege of choice belong to the people above you station. People like me. → That’s not a choice for you to make, Mr. Miller. The privilege of choice belongs to people above your station. People like me. I find it very insulting when some guard dog try to give me an order. Know your place mutt. → I find it very insulting when some guard dog tries to give me an order. Know your place, [comma before addressing someone] mutt. But as much it’s a pain for me to admit. You are correct you are the best of a three option. → But as much as it’s a pain for me to admit, you are correct. You are the best of the three options. Yes yes see it now. You are perfect. Your skill your intellect your loyalty I want it all. → Yes, yes. I see it now. You are perfect. Your skill, your intellect, your loyalty. I want it all. You are such fortunate man Mr Miller. To get an honnor to be the first of our species to have a chance to be evole into new superior life form → You are such a fortunate man, Mr. Miller. To receive the honor [the honor being received is unique] of being the first of our species to have a chance to evolve into a new, superior lifeform. [“lifeform” is one word] You can shove that honnor right back. I rather die than being you slave. → You can take the honor and shove it. [more aggressive] [or “You can take that honor right back” [more polite] OR “You can take that honor and shove it up yours” [really aggressive]] I didn’t ask for you consent Mr Miller. It’s what I demand and you will comply. → I didn’t ask for your consent, Mr. Miller. It’s what I demand, [comma because both sides of the “and” are separate clauses] and you will comply. Don’t worry you’ll know your place soon enought I’ll get rid of all those flaw and made you into something magnificent. → Don’t you worry, you’ll know your place soon enough. I’ll get rid of all those flaws [plural] and make [present tense] you into something magnificent. Begin merging command c456 Setting paramiter for human male → Command c456: beginning merge Parameters set for: human male What is this It’s like a being stab by a bunch a cold needle → What is this!? It’s like being stabbed by a bunch of cold needles [plural]. Can you feel it Mr. Miller ? A billion of nanobot invading every fiber of your biological system This is the process for my Mercury to bind itself to your body on the cellular level. → Can you feel it, Mr. Miller? A billion nanobots [plural] invading every fiber of your biological system. [A more common saying is “every fiber of your being”, but that sounds less scientific] This is the process my Mercury does to bind itself to your body at the cellular level. What the fu…Aght!! Ha…. Ah…. → What the fu— Argh!! Ha… Ah… [ellipsis, the multiple dots, usually come in groups of threes] Boss!! Miller!! Dammit you bitch stop!! I’m gonna kill you. → Boss!! Dammit you bitch, [comma after addressing someone] stop!! I’m gonna kill you. Wade get this thing off me → Wade, get this thing off me. I’m trying I can’t barely put a dense in these thing firewall → I’m trying. I can [“can’t” would imply they can put a dent in it] barely put a dent [“dense” means compact. “Dent” means a deformation] in this [singular] thing’s [the firewall belongs to the thing] firewall. Relax your boss is about to become something better. Just sit and enjoy the show. → Relax, your boss is about to become something better. Just sit back and enjoy the show. Removing unnecessary meterials → Removing unnecessary materials… [computers will often add dots at the end of actions they are currently doing] Subject physical mass covered 80 percent → Subject’s [the mass belongs to the subject] physical mass is 80% covered [Shouldn’t this be the robotic font?] Oh don’t worry about getting drowed Mr. Miller. I made sure the Mercury assimilate your respiratory system before you running out of air. After that you don’t even need to breath anymore → Oh, and don’t worry about drowning [present tense], Mr Miller. I made sure my [she refers to it as “my Mercury” every other time] Mercury will [future tense, it is something it will do] assimilate your respiratory system before you asphyxiate. [lose consciousness from lack of oxygen] After that, you won’t [future tense] even need to breathe [“breath” is the noun (actually thing), “breathe” is the action] anymore. Gah Go… To…. Hell.. → G— Go… To… Hell… Begin the fusing process Copying subject shape. Braking down biological meterial → Beginning fusing process Copying subject shape… Breaking [“braking” is to slow down, “breaking” is to take apart] down biological material… [This should also be the robotic font] It’s getting hard to breath → It’s getting hard to breathe. MPF!? → MMPH!? No.! Ga Mpf A..a. → No! Gah—! Mmph A— Ah… Scanning subject internal system…. → Scanning subject’s [the system belongs to the subject[ internal system… Scanning complete → Scan complete Begin intergrade mercury into subject biological system converting subject cell → Beginning integration of Mercury [prop noun, should have capital letter] into subject’s biological system Converting subject’s cells… Converting complete. → Conversation complete Creating artifical brain Loading subject personality fragment and memory loading… → Creating artificial brain… Reading subject’s personality fragment and memory… Loading… Update and stabilizing form… → Updating and stabilizing form… What is this text keep poping in my head? → What is this text that keeps popping into my head? Task complete subject is now a part of a mercury system → Task complete! Subject is now part of the [the Mercury system is unique] Mercury system No not that I am that robot now. God I’m become that blob of metal. I can even feel cold breeze of the lab thought it dammit!! God dammit!! → No, it’s not that… I am that robot now. God, I’ve become that blob of metal. I can even feel the cold breeze of the lab on me. [the original wording seems to imply they are wearing the Mercury system like a suit rather than them and it becoming one] Dammit!! Goddammit!! [Goddammit is a single word] OK calm down. I’m still unable to move a muscle. Dammit! I can’t see anything eiher It’s like am trap in my own body. → OK, [most common form of “OK”] calm down. I’m still unable to move a muscle. Dammit! I can’t see anything either. It’s like I’m trapped in my own body. At least my hearing is still working. → At least I can still hear. Oh Mr Miller you look much better already You look like a piece of modern art. → Oh, Mr. Miller, you look so much better already, like a piece of modern art. How does your malleable, crystalline, ceramic-titanium armor interlaced with nano-fibers of carbon and titanium feel? Both strong flexible isn’t it? → How does your malleable, crystalline, ceramic-titanium body [their body is their armor] interlaced with carbon and titanium nanofibers [nanofiber doesn’t have a hyphen] feel? Both strong and flexible, isn’t it? [pretty much everything just mentioned isn’t flexible, but who cares] But we not done yet Mr Miller I’m gonna make you into something more to my taste. → But we’re not done yet, Mr. Miller. I’m going to [“gonna” is very informal, and probably not fitting for this character] make you into something more to my taste. Now let’s move some of you muscle mass shall we? → Now, let’s move some of your muscle mass, shall we? Not only you gonna be deadly Mr Miller. → Not only are you going to be deadlier [he was deadly to begin with], Mr. Miller… [this line of thought is picked up later on, so an ellipsis is used here] Receiving command distribute body mass according to A set paramiter → Received command Distributing body mass to set parameters… Ah gah What the hell this is so werid. I can feel my muscle moving. → Ah. Gah. What the hell, this is so weird. I can feel my muscles [plural] moving. You gonna be beautiful as well. → …you’re [start with an ellipsis because we’re picking up from before] going to be beautiful as well… [same deal] Both weapon and art piece at the same time. → …both weapon and art at the same time. Oh Mr Miller if you could see what you look like now. Like a adorable clay doll. That I can shape as I desire. → Oh, Mr. Miller. If you could see what you look like now. Like an [the following word starts with a vowel, so “an” is used instead of “a”] adorable clay doll, that I can shape as I desire. You’re doing great so far Mr Miller. We are at the uncharted territory now. You are the first humanbeing to be successfully remade into new bio-metal life form → You’re doing great so far, Mr. Miller. We are entering uncharted territory now, you are the first human being [two words] to be successfully reborn [sounds fancier] as a new bio-metal lifeform.

trigger_portal_cleanser

trigger_portal_cleanser

The finger on her glasses in that last panel on the first page made it look like she was cross-eyed at first. Probably looks better in color but that was amusing at first.

A. H. W.

very cool

Pascal

@ibenz009 will Elise get a reboot?

Arthur Yeung

nice

D Banks

The scientist's last words... dang, I can't wait to see them complete their transformation either!

Arbiter

😄😄😄😄😄

Stormfries

needs more liquid twercury

ZeroForever

You know you're screwed when the mad scientist takes an interest in you. Love how it's turning out though.

StarGazer