Demon lord chapter 2 sketch p 10-11

When it will be finished good story

Bhumpharn

,

Bhumpharn

I see you revealed that Aria had Sorcery origins, it certainly fits the theme of her new demoness design and it’s something I thought of too!

MagicCobra911

Page 2 Text Edits Hero stop my body isn't your plaything Hmm. Let's go with your head next. Your face is too innocent, too kind. How about a little horn? Hmm yes, it's really looking good on you. Oh, looks like another core has grown. Ahh yes, I remember now. Before the church took you in, you told me that your family came from an ancient bloodline of dark magic users. You're shaping up to be quite a powerful demon, Aria. I'm so proud. Look. The shadow will soon cover your entire body. Your flesh and blood will be gone, leaving only shadow elemental behind. (I changed the first part of this one a little, I think her telling Aria to look fits the tone by this point in the scene a little better than another bemused "Well it looks like this is happening") Stay focused, or you won't even remember that you're Aria (eliminated the first mention of her name, it's a little redundant). Ah yes, can't forget your backside. I'll give it a little shape and a tail. That's all I can find on that page ibenz. Looking great so far!

Salt & Storm

More than a few of these are the same as what Roxanne suggested, but I'm including the for the sake of potential convenience. Also, if people have edits on top of my edits, by all means. I definitely don't claim to have all the answers. 10.2.1 you still call => you're still calling 10.2.2 How amusing. You always were the optimist in our party. 10.3.1 I liked that about you. In fact, call me whatever you want (from now on). 10.3.2 Let me put this right here. 10.4.1 it's => is 10.4.2 The core has taken root. Now I can mold your entire being like so much clay, reshaping you into any form I desire. 10.4.3 Allow me to demonstrate. I seem to recall you being self-conscious about your small breasts. 10.5.1 It's burning => It burns 10.5.2 There you go, Aria, nice new bosoms. 10.5.4 Let's mold the rest of you into a proper demon, shall we?

Asani

Apologies for not commenting earlier, but it took me a while to get my thoughts down. It's a great use of story developments that Demon Lord reaches straight into Aria's body to place her demon seed. However, that action is undercut by it immediately reemerging from her sternum. What if, the core remains deep inside Aria, or kinda dissolves, and thanks to her newly translucent and incorporeal nature, we can see the core's corruption spread out to form the external nodes down her centerline? Kinda like the designs for some of the Time Elementals, but more... smokey? Obviously this ain't my comic, but if I had my druthers I'd make the following tweaks to these pages: 10.4: Show Demon Lord placing the core deep in Aria, with a hazy effect obscuring the portion of her arm and hand that are inside. Right now it looks like she is hooking her hand down and around, which seems awkward. Possibly have Demon Lord take her hand out in this panel. 10.5: Have the sternum core emerge here in conjunction with the breast enhancement. Arch Aria's back to emphasize the outward motion. Might look awesome if we can see a tendril-like structure (or some sort of fluid) leading from the main core to this new one, and maybe her breasts. 11.3 (center): Add a splash effect to show the bellybutton core emerging. Possibly add interior corruption tendrils to all panels on this page to show it spreading.

Asani

Whoa thats some nice art.

Heinz

Page 2: 1: Hero, stop! My body isn't your plaything! Hmm. Let's go with your head next. Your face is looking too innocent. Too kind. How about a pair of horns? 2: AHH Hmm, yes. It looks real good on you. Oh? Looks like another core has grown. You are quite compatible with dark magic. 3: Ahh yes, I remember now. Before the church took you in, you told me that your family came from an ancient bloodline of dark magic users. You're shaping up to be quite a powerful demon, Aria. I'm so proud. Looks like the shadow will soon cover your entire body. Your flesh and blood will be gone, leaving only a shadow elemental behind. Ahh... a..hhh no... Stay focused, Aria, or else you won't even remember who you are. Ahh yes, we can't forget about your backside. Let's give it a little shame and a tail

Roxanne Giling

Edits! Page 1: 1: GAH HA..! Hero, stop! I beg of you! 2: Oh? You're still calling me that? How amusing. Well, you always were the most optimistic one in our group. 3: I always liked that about you. Well, you can call me whatever you like Gah! Now, let me put it right here. 4: AGH! HAAA! My body is burning! The core has taken root. Right now, I can mold your entire being like clay. I can shape you into any form I desire. Hero... I still believe... Let me show you. Do you want bigger breasts, Aria? 5: Nght! It's burning! Hero, you... you... must... not... There you go, Aria. Nice new bosoms. Nght...! Now, let's shape you into a proper demon, shall we?

Roxanne Giling

Hope Aria will have a bigger breast in demon form

shaunong

I'm not gonna give up on the happy ending or this being ultimately a good thing hope. Believe me on paper I know that "willing/happiness" and "corruption" seem like polar opposites but they aren't. You can totally have both happen and I think it makes the story all the stronger if you can pull it off. Heck this is already miles better then what Hero's other "so called friend" went through, she doesn't appear to have gone through any pain yet (maybe a little, granted she's blushing for the latter half so she's clearly enjoying this now that the pain has seemingly dulled or been overpowered), and if anything merely appears to simply be resisting how good this feels or feeling like she shouldn't be feeling the way she is and enjoying this~

RedeemerofDark

tg tf a must! "!! i love your work

Stormfries

I am not so good at English, but I think there are a few mistakes in one line. Example:"you flesh and blood will begone leave only shadow elemental behind". More correctly : "Your flesh and blood will begone, leaving only shadow elemental behind". And at the same page I saw "has grow", more correctly "has grown". Hope it will be helpful for you. Thank you for your comics and especially your draw style. Keep this TF TG theme alive.

I still hope for happy ending at some point.

T004

I really like this idea.

T004

Damn i love that rear view.

D Banks

aye I can spot a few bits of grammer and spelling. I myself am not to great at them but for example the part in P11 "you shape up to be quite powerful demon Aria I'm so proud" Could be changed to "Your shaping up to be quite a powerful demon Aria! I am so proud."

ChaosOverlordZ

Love it, would be funny if Aria still has a shy and easily embarrassed personality when she's a demon, that way she can just cover herself in shadows to hide her blushing face.

StarGazer