Tata

"Father," I say. Scorn drips from my words.

He tries to give me a wide smile. Does he seriously think that I would return it? 

"Marcus!" His voice grates my ears, his glistening face infuriatingly happy. "Niall just put some of his facial cremes on me. Do you think I've gotten any young—"

"I will be a Centurion."

He freezes. What a delightful reaction. The horror and disbelief in his eyes warm my soul.

He blinks. He waits for me to say something. To let him know that I was only kidding. That I will follow in his footsteps and become a Senator. He's been pestering me, hoping that I would grow tired of being a soldier and join him and his circle of wankers. Stumble in my toga like an idiot. Debate with the old cocksuckers and think that I'm doing something for the great Empire.

He bursts out laughing. "Ha! A good one! I almost thought you were serious." He's pleading with his gaze. 'Please say you're not serious.'

"I am."

The smile still lingers on his face. Finally, he frowns. "But… Why?"

"I want to lead men on the battlefield." In other words: I want to piss in your soup, father, and watch you eat it.

"You… what? Lead the… When have you ever cared about that?"

"If you knew me, you'd know." I suppose I haven't. There are other dreams… But, even my rebellion has its limits. This is the next best thing. 

But wait: there's something more. Something that will boil his blood. A smile forces its way into my lips as I say: "I will lead the Auxiliaries." 

His reaction is delightful: he takes a shaky breath and sits down. I half-expect him to squeeze his tunic just over his heart. He has a flair for the dramatic. 

"Not even the Legionaries?" He squeezes his eyes shut and takes another deep inhale, his voice wheezing. He's preparing to scold me. My pulse quickens: I prepare myself for the upcoming battle.

However… Instead of an attack, he looks down in defeat. "Is this about your mothe—"

I clench my teeth. "Leave her out of this."

He shuts his mouth. My breathing is shallow. I hate that he has that effect on me. He must know it is so. Trying to speak about what happened, as if he had the right. That excuse of a man.

"Ah! Marcus!" Niall's voice. His wide smile almost takes some of the edges off my nerves. Almost. It's not enough. "Do you want to join tata and—" His smile quickly fades when his gaze meets mine.

Tata. Niall, you idiot.

They're acting as if nothing happened. As if she's not dead and buried in the ground, left for worms to devour her—

I shake my head and banish the intrusive thoughts. Niall doesn't blame him. Does it make me lesser man? Do I care? 

No.

I look at 'tata'. "Let's hope your son won't die on the battlefield." I shoot him a little smirk and leave.