Smiling Friends vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared - Early Audio

Early audio for ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III, Episode 6 - Smiling Friends vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared.

P) is Pim

C) is Charlie

A) is Allan

G) is Glep

R) is Red Guy

Y is Yellow Guy

D) is Duck

Smiling Friends:

P) Well, hello, little critters! Please listen for a while

‘Cuz we’re the Smiling Friends, and we’re here to make you smile!

C) Uh, Pim, no offense, but like, what was your plan

They’re literally puppets, I just- I don’t even think that they can

A) Wow, look, it’s a trio of Muppet Show rejects

I think I found out where all of my cheese went

Glep watches you on his iPad sometimes

(Alan glances over at Glep, watching the end of the first DHMIS YouTube video on his iPad.)

G) blblblblblblblblb 

A) what the fuck?

P) Relax, Charlie! There must be something to get them grinning

Perhaps we could go look for their pilot that went missing

C) Listen, Pim, I hear ya, but unlike the duck, it should stay dead

It leaked online, fully, and no one wanted to save it

A) Ew, change your own batteries, you strange laughingstock

Your father’s on the family computer jacking off

C) Look, I get you wanna jumpstart your show like Mr. Frog

But dude, never eat your cohost again. I-I swear to god

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared:

D) ATTENTION, FREAKS. GET AWAY, AND BE QUIET!

Y) The pink one has eyes that are two different sizes

R) So you go to people who you think need supporting

And just cheer them up? That sounds really boring

D) What so-called creative would greenlight this help?

Y) They work for the guy who has one of himself

D) Well, I wouldn’t say their work really counts as a profession

They’re charity cases 

R) just like Unemployed Brendan

Y) Their red one is looks like our red one. 

D) He’s not

He’s barely onscreen (hm!) pesky B-plot

R) If you make people smile, do big nose here first

He seems to get in your hair and on your nerves

Y) If your start-up needs help, give computer a try

(Yellow Guy turns to Colin the Computer (C), who suddenly boots up and says a few words.)

C) Pim Pimling deserves to die! (wow)

D) According to your rules, you won’t leave ‘till we smile

R) So I wonder what will happen if we don’t for a while

Smiling Friends:
P) Aw, come on guys, that’s silly! Keep trying, and you’ll get it

C) Uh.. Pim? Can I, uh.. talk to you over here for a second?

(CHARLIE pulls PIM to the side, and tries to convince him to give up on the puppets smiling. The puppets overhear, and begin butting into the conversation. Displeased, CHARLIE and PIM begin an argument, with everyone talking over each other. Suddenly, the front door swings open, and everybody falls silent. It’s MR. BOSS!)

(Unlabelled is Mr. Boss)

Hey everybody! How’s it goin’?

You should get your smiles growin’!

P) Oh, hey, Mr. Boss! It’s good to see you!

C) Uh, yeah, Mr…. Uh, we’re just trying to make these guys smile, you think you could help us out?

Sure thing, boys!  (interrupting Charlie)

Now, who do I have the pleasure of teaching?

R) Uhhh.. (caught off guard, stammering)

That’s great!

Take it away, me!

(Suddenly, MR. BOSS breaks into a song reminiscent of the teacher’s songs in the Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared web series.)

Smiling is good for you, and your body too

Yes, it’s true!

Just think of all the good things it could do

For you, and you, and you!

D) Me?

It’s good for your brain, and it’s good for your heart

D) Is it good for my shredder?

You’ll never know ‘till you start

Cuz smiling is good for you, and your body too!

Y) But… how DO you smile?

Seriously? Are you guys, like, babies or something?

D) I’m not!

R) I don’t.. know how old I am? (slightly disturbed)

Y) My dad was a baby once!

(Sighs) Okay… don’t worry, I’ll teach you how!

Smiling is good for me, and for you three

Yesirree!

Just curve you mouth up with a cute “tee-hee”

And you will quickly see

Y) Wow!

You can smile with a mouth of any old style 

R) I have no mouth.

(evil voice) AND YOU MUST SMILE.

Cuz smiling is easy for me, and for you three!

(The three puppets try to smile - with varying degrees of tenacity - but fail. Their mouths simply will not make that shape no matter how hard they try.)

Y) ughh.. my face won’t do it!

C) Uh.. I don’t really think this is gonna work, man.

It better…

(DOPAMINE (DP), a little Smiling Friends kinda blob guy, bursts open from a DOOR in Mr. Boss’ forehead, which Mr. Boss closes after he finishes screaming.)

Smiling is for your own good, it releases dopamine!

DP) LET ME OUT, I’M DOPAMINE!

Nobody likes feeling sad, so don’t make your sadness seen!

DP) SERIOUSLY LET ME OUTTA HERE-

(MR. BOSS squishes his own DOPAMINE with an extended finger.)

(SCENE: UNEMPLOYED BRENDON from the DHMIS TV Jobs episode walks down the street with a JOB APPLICATION FOR THE FROWNING FRIENDS. MR. BOSS clearly dislikes this.)

You could walk down the street with a grumpy old frown

But somebody you meet might take you down!

(MR. BOSS walks up to UNEMPLOYED BRENDON before quickly JUMPING HIM and SUFFOCATES HIM WITH A PILLOW, shushing the puppets as he does so. He then quickly scuttles back to the main cast to finish his song.)

So, smile! It’s good for you, and your body too! 

R) Look, my face is covered in all this, that one has a beak, and that one’s an idiot. We’re not smiling.

You don’t wanna smile?
YOU DON’T WANT TO SMILE?

Then I’ll just have to make you!

(Mr. Boss produces his MAGICAL RED JEWEL from the Spamtopia episode.)

R) What’s that? (on-edge)

Y) A baby pigeon egg…

(Mr. Boss begins to chant. A FOREBODING CHORUS echoes from the JEWEL (J) as its power FORCES THE PUPPETS TO GROW DISTURBING SMILES MADE OF FLESH.)

Now SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

SMILE!

J) Smiling is goood for you~

Smiling is good for yooooou~

Smiling is good for yooooou~

Smiling is good for yooooou~

Y) WHAT’S HAPPENING TO MEEE?

D) THIS IS SO DISRESPECTFAAAUAAUAUUGHHHH!

R) Oh noooooooaaaaaaaauuuuugghHHHHHH!

(THEIR FACES DISTORT FURTHER, until they’re motionless on the floor, horribly disfigured. Charlie, Pim and Alan watch, horrified. Glep is still on his iPad, seemingly uncaring about the events that have just unfolded.)

Now let’s agree to leave, and never come back!