DITW 12-20: Of Sorrow Unfeign'd

The submission to her desires had delivered her pleasure, but the betrayal did, too. The betrayal and the cruelty. As Devlin had told her over drinks at the Royal York: Josh lures his own torment. The meek summons the strong. She’d thought it was bull shit, but there was something about Josh that begged for it. Something in him that wanted the worst; that demanded it. Somehow he’d summoned his own devils, brought out the worst in others. Josh defined himself through the perception of the dominant. Josh found power in resentment; he fed off it.

The arousal that wickedness brought her was only because she loved Josh. That was her and Josh’s intertwined life now. Wasn’t it? Definitely. It was sacred.

Josh’s trembling eyes roamed the scene. His wife post-orgasm, his bully’s massive cock back inside her again; and his wife was getting off on it, writhing with Devlin’s gentle fucking, readjusting her sensitive and quivering interior to his demanding size. That unreadable expression twitched and turned down, assuming something more surly, his delightful brain at work.

He said, “It’s only urine.”

She moved her gaze from Josh up to Devlin, looming between her thighs, Devlin regarding Josh. Devlin looked at her, pausing his fucking, and their eyes met. Both of them burst into breathy chuckles. She clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the laughing, embarrassed, seeing herself as too aligned with Devlin, not wanting to be Josh’s bully, but to be his divine benefactor of highly tuned and delightful woe, his High Priestess of Sexual Anguish. But definitely not his bully. Not his Devlin. And not Amy.

Josh’s frown deepened, and his cheeks blushed. His mouth trembled. She whispered to Devlin, “Stop, stop, stop,” and put up her palms to indicate for him to halt.

Josh said, “I mean, you just, like her bladder gave out, ‘cause...”

She slipped away from Devlin and off the bed, suddenly feeling far too naked, her hand covering between her thighs, where Devlin had just been. Even the pressure of her own fingers to where Devlin stretched her brought sexual static and electric aftershocks. The seismic orgasm Devlin delivered hadn’t abandoned her yet. Josh watched her coming, not liking it, not wanting her comfort right now. She went to one knee before him. She asked him what he needed.

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

She took his hand and held it. “I didn’t mean to laugh.”

Josh winced in pain, hating her words.

“It was the perfect thing for you to say. That’s why I thought it was funny. That was the Josh I know.”

Josh’s eyes flitted, his mouth working out what to say, his brow a tense line. “I’m not trying to be funny.”

She asked him again. “What do you need right now?”

“Nothing, Kimmy,” he said, vexed. “Just keep going.”

She thumbed his knuckles, chewing her cheek. It was the perfect thing for Josh to say; it had betrayed so much about how his mind worked. He’d just watched his bully fuck his wife so good she’d been turned to useless goo, coming so hard she’d squirted. And Josh had said the expected retort, something that amounted to an Oh, yeah? or a So what, big deal. While it was funny, she didn’t like that role for him. He deserved a better position.

She let his hand go and rubbed both his forearms. “Why don’t you take that jacket off.”

His lip curled, saying, “Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

Behind her, Devlin said, “Do what she says, Josh.”

She didn’t look at Devlin, but answered, “I don’t need your help.” Then to Josh: “Come on. If the sin is the penitence, it’s because you want the sin. It’s why I’m doing it.”

Josh said nothing, but she could hear his answer in her own head: You don’t have to like it so much.

She answered as if he’d stated it out loud. “I liked it because you were watching, Josh. That’s why you’re here. . . . Take off your jacket, please.”

Josh sat forward and pulled the jacket off. She wanted to run her hands up his leg and test his hardness, but the effect of seeing his bully pleasure his wife like no one else could had put a bad spin on Josh’s experience. She didn’t want to push him too far, didn’t want to touch his dick and have him push her hand away. Or worse, have it go off in his pants and ruin the progress. The act with Devlin today was for Josh; was to grant her atonement. Josh wasn’t there yet, but he could be pushed or pulled to that place if she worked with him.

“Tell me what you want, Josh. I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.”

Behind her again: “How about what I want.”

She looked over her shoulder to regard Devlin on his knees still, awaiting her return, his cock in his hand and working to maintain his hardness.

Josh said to Devlin, “What do you want?”

There was strength in Josh’s voice, the statement like a challenge. He sounded unafraid again. The secret was to keep Josh in contrast with Devlin, remove herself from Devlin as much as she could and still keep Josh entertained.

Devlin flashed a smile, regarding Josh with sly approval. “Why stop at your jacket? Let’s get those pants off you.”

Kimmy looked back to Josh, and Josh watched Devlin over her shoulder with a cold stare. She asked him if he wanted that. He said, “I want you to be yourself. I want you to show me what you are.”

“What do you mean what I am?”

Josh steadied his eyes on hers and spoke clearly. “I want you to show me how wicked you are,” he said, slowly, taking his time with each word.

“Josh likes a bad girl,” Devlin said.

Josh kept his eyes on hers, saying, “I guess I do.”

Devlin said, “If you like a wicked woman, Josh, you hit the fucking jackpot. Kimmy Chang is the devil.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, retreating from Josh, but he held her wrist to stop her.

“Is this what it’s like with him? What I watched, was this how it was all the times you were with him?”

Her lips slimmed but she didn’t shy away. “Yeah,” she said. “Pretty much.” Then she grooved from the sickly look on Josh’s face, her husband hating that answer but loving it just the same, probably coming in his pants from hearing it. “Why else would I do it?”

Josh nodded, grim, eyes blazing with a dark sexual fire she loved.

“Do you want to see more?”

Josh’s nod was almost unnoticeable (still struggling to hide the truth from her). But, yes, he did want to see more. “I told you what I want.”

Devlin said, “He wants to watch you misbehave.”

“You’re wicked,” Josh said. “Show me how wicked you are.”

But she didn’t like the assessment, the bullying demand and castigation. She furrowed her brow in a play on wounding, saying, “That’s all I am to you?”

Josh showed the slightest amount of amusement, but then it twisted into something more shocked, more disbelieving—the look of an apostate, his faith diminished at the sight of her weakness. He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head, lost in skepticism. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard you say, and you’re not stupid.”

Josh saw through the theatric offense, and she did feel stupid for trying something so lame when he’d been treated to her worst. That must have seemed juvenile to him. She’d shown him stark betrayal; too much, too close, and he wouldn’t trust her again. That truth disheartened her for a moment. And, somehow, this time, she really was wounded. She said, “I’m everything to you. At least I hope I am. I want to be everything.”

Josh’s lips slimmed, and he studied her further, that momentary shaken faith dissipating, his eyes seeking truth in her words. She did her best to convince him with her eyes, wanting him to trust her, to put his most valuable vulnerabilities in her hands. She would tease him with them, make them huge until his cock exploded in his pants. Soon, those huge things would become small, and maybe they wouldn’t scare him so much.

“I want to be everything to you,” she said again. “I want to be the one who gives you everything you’ve dreamed of. And everything we both dreamed of.”

Devlin sighed, impatient.

The power of her temptation showed in Josh’s eyes. He wanted it to be true. And it was—it was her betrayal that had shaken his faith. She said, “Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want right now. Please, baby.”

Josh exhaled and closed his eyes, his head rocking back. The sun played on his troubled features. When he opened his eyes again, the sun filled them with color. He said, “Don’t hold back.”

“Don’t hold back? That’s what you want?” She cupped a hand to his cheek, delighted he didn’t pull away.

“Show me your worst. I want to see it.”

She said, “I will. I will, for you.”

So, she rose, for some reason still with a hand between her thighs and covering his closeup view of her swollen and punished sex, and turned to Devlin. “And what do you want?”

Devlin smiled and pulled her onto the bed, manhandling her and getting her to lay face down on the bed, legs spread on either side of his knees. “Stay down like that, stay flat on your stomach,” he said, and she obeyed him, turning her head to the left to look at Josh.

Josh watched as Devlin lowered his body over hers, his cock coming down on one butt cheek and then hoisted into position between her cheeks, dangling down to touch her sex. He grunted as he shoved his cock inside her again and she groaned and narrowed her eyes, loving his thick return. He fucked her shallow from this angle, bouncing above her, his hands on either side of her shoulders. The bed squeaked with their rocking and Josh watched, cheeks drawn, his expression aghast. Despite the extreme duress, she marveled at how good Josh looked. The suit fit him well, and even stripped down to the dress shirt, no tie, collar open, he looked handsome with the daylight behind him. The new haircut showed him less boyishly, more masculine, and her husband wore it well.

Devlin fucked her like that, slowly building up to a deeper penetration, and as he returned his stretch to her depths, she began to moan, narrowing her eyes, the vision of Josh warbling. “Oh, you’re so fucking big,” she whispered in a breathy voice. “You feel so good, mm, keep going, ah, not too deep yet.”

Devlin slowed, rolling his hips on the thrust, the angle changing, swirling, stretching her in incredible ways. Her mouth hung open, and her moans turned to high cries that whined with each of Devlin’s thrusts.

Josh’s fervor had returned in a fiery glory, his eyes widened, soaking in every iota of visual information while his bully fucked his wife. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Do you fuck him every day?”

Devlin was quicker than her, chuckling, saying, “I wish.”

“No, Josh,” she said. “It wasn’t like that.”

Josh’s brow lowered, and he leaned even closer, his eyes troubled despite the scorn his features showed. “Did you fuck him in Grand Cayman?”