SpanishRed

I'll Call This One the Whiplash Creeper

Writing Skills You Prolly Don’t Know You Need

How to touch type. It’s impossible to reach deadlines if you can’t bloody type as fast as you bloody think. Trust me. Learn it now.

Since we’re on the topic, if you spray a little WD-40...

Why Everything I Learned About BDSM Ethics Was Wrong

One of my kink mentors taught me that the secret to ethical sadomasochism lies in the difference between hurt and harm. BDSM might hurt, she said, but it should never, ever cause damage. It was a f...

The "Inferior" Submissive

I’m not one of those subs who feels unfulfilled without a dominant, nor do I have a permanently ignited slave heart that submits the second it finds a partner. In my day to day life, I’m the op...

Women don’t sign a Fetlife agreement to have sex with a minimum number of men a year.

An ex-Fetlife caretaker once listed the most surprising aspects of his employment. He recalled the many men who reported women for ignoring their unsolicited messages. They assumed the profiles wer...

Fire Season

This was what my neighbourhood looked like before Christmas. The firefighters are exhausted. I drove th...

Every Scrabble Game I've Ever Played

How to Do Your First Munch

1. Go outside. See that woman who just walked down the road? Yes, that one in the yellow dress. She looks exactly like the kind of person you’d meet at a munch. We BDSM community types are the...
   2024-01-02 06:20:02 +0000 UTC View Post

Unlocking the Secrets of the Female Sex Drive

When Meredith Chivers researched what made men and women’s libidos work overtime, she found that the female of th...

Every Kind of Fetlife Kinkster

I’m a demi-sapio-poly-non-binary-neurospicy <deep breath> gluten-intolerant switch, which basically means I’m a feminist for some reason. My strap-on has been baptised in Gloria Steinem�...

New Fetlife Rules for 2024

• This year, the vanillas became too kinky to scare, so All the Real Kinksters will have to work extra hard at it in 2024. We suggest driving toothbrushes and other household objects into your ...
  2023-12-31 05:35:22 +0000 UTC View Post

If you have sub frenzy, you probably shouldn't operate heavy machinery.

Menopause has knocked the sharp edges off my sex drive. Do I want The Sex? Yup. Do I want The Sex even if it costs me five cupcakes and a missed deadline? Nope. This lack of desperation has had une...

Why I Avoid Tops Who Don't Do Aftercare

One of the most surprising lessons I’ve learned about the kink scene is that not all tops do aftercare. They don’t dole it out for free like cash slips at a supermarket. If you need it, you hav...

Just Like a Kinky Werewolf

When I grow up, I’m going to be RainDeGrey: a proud pain slut who gives zero fucks about showing the entire planet my body. I’m going to have fifty sexual adventures before lunch and then have ...

Everything I Wish I'd Known About Kink From the Start

• Never, ever, ever assume good hygiene of a top. Don’t take it as a given that the dildo’s been sanitised, the needles have been correctly stored, or the flogger’s been set aside once it...
  2023-12-26 07:16:53 +0000 UTC View Post

The Law of Fuck Yes or No in Kink

“The Law of Fuck Yes or No states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with ...

2023-12-24 05:08:23 +0000 UTC View Post

Masochism Isn't an Animal To Break But a Wave To Ride

I started HIIT training a month ago. As expected, it was shit… until I broke through an invisible wall and reached the dimension where the endorphins fly. You stop feeling the pain. You stop stru...

An Absolute Beginner's Guide to a First Topping Scene

• Just because a bottom agreed to play, doesn’t mean they’ve agreed to sexual contact. Hell, it doesn’t even mean they’ve agreed to nudity, so ask the right questions before yo...
  2023-12-23 09:28:41 +0000 UTC View Post

Your Vagina Doesn't Render You Innocent (TW rape)

Few Fetsters remember R anymore. He’s one of an infinite list of Fetlife refugees, and who has time to remember those? I remember him, though. I remember his wit. I remember his compassion. I rem...

I Don't Know What a Compersion Is But I'm Pretty Sure It Would Taste Good in a Sandwich

I’m knitting squares for a blanket. This is the easiest knitting project in history. They were doing it during the Mesozoic era. When you start knitting, you make squares. That’s Grade One of t...

Your Kink's Not My Kink But Your Kink is Just Plain Weird

Fetlife exposes you to enough kinky weirdness to start your own sexy reality show. What’s the appeal of latex, and what the fuck is a shrink fetish? Have you ever heard of climacophilia? That’s...

When Sluts Hate Slugs

Don’t go wandering behind rocks in the kink scene. You never know what sort of parasites you might pick up. Today, I went wandering behind a rock, and I came across an <ahem> gentleman who ...

Are you a sub or are you a walking imitation of someone else’s fantasies?

Are you a sub or are you a walking imitation of someone else’s fantasies? No. Don’t move onto the next sentence. Answer the question. Are you a sub or are you merely living up to som...

Why I Reply To Every Wannafuck Message

“It’s impolite not to reply when a man takes the time to write to you.” – Some sort of Norman or other

Yesterday I came home to a yuuuge pile of inbox spam: Prime Vi...