Meredith

when suffering comes.

"your suffering is not despair, but desire. desire to meet the divine within you.

you are alive and well dear one, under the chaos.

you are alive and in love with your beating heart.<...

i am breath.

underwater

i’ve been getting in the river every single day for the month of june. i plan on getting in every day for the entire summer. my two daily rituals are meditating and getting in the water. every da...

random images from around the house in may

georgina and i

i was green and now i am only pink

photos from may 8th, words from a while ago.

it’s wild to see the places i can come from and go to within just a few months.

green hues

pink blush.

g...

"I wonder if you're mythologizing me like I do you"

‘sometimes i see so much beauty, i don’t think that i can cope’

florence and the machines new album “dance fever” is the most i’ve related to an album in a long time. but maybe that’s just because i’ve been getting back into music in a way i was 7 yea...

dancing alone

dancing alone

i’m reminded of myself

my freedom

my lust

and my anguish.

dancing alone

i am reminded of movement and how i love it all. them all. us ...

a flower day / sunday afternoon

constantly torn

5/18/2022

constantly torn.

between myself

and between ourself.

between constant movement and growth of my own being and aliveness

and ...

growing brighter

an evening alone in seattle

always here

mother’s day

it’s mother’s day and i am insanely sad. i just woke up and am so tired from working a double yesterday and today i’ll go into work and won’t see nalcoah today. but let’s feel it right? l...

dreary

expired film in black and white

disposable camera flash and no flash

a morning in hara part 2

same morning, different film🖤

kitchen table

so giddy about how this roll of expired film looks. i especially love the way my nipple piercing looks in the silhouette in the second photo 🤍

some notes from the morning of april 15th

sitting in blue lit bubbles from the blue of the sky filling the room before the sunlight comes in.

faded fogged windows.

soft blue skin.

breasts that droop down my ribs and graze...

i create it

i decide.

i create it.

i decide.

i am creating my dream life.

slowly… but slowly!

and that dream life is basically just community,

friendships,

to be wit...

breathe

the more i meditate the more i become aware of just how sacred our breath is. the more i am called into the moment with my breath, the more i realize that’s all there really is. the more i am abl...

am i just the same now as i was at 4?

I’ve been spending a lot of my days recently thinking about myself when I was 4 and 5 and 6.

My only memories of that time seem to be either beautiful; immersed in nature - mud, water, ta...

i do not end at my edges

know me!

know me!

i want to scream into the abyss,

i scream into my mind!

i scream for them all to hear.

i feel my body, the walls of me,

and i know i am not jus...

meditate. masturbate.

meditate,

masturbate.

meditate,

masturbate.

meditate….

or masturbate?

how about both?

masturbating helps me come into my body,

and meditating helps...

home alone and it feels so good

i will feed it to them

laying in bed

woke up at 4,

now it’s 5:30.

stuffy nose,

the most content i’ve ever been.

laying in bed

went to sleep at 8:30

woke up to write

to ...

notice me, notice us, notice her.

not sure.

but compassion, empathy and love.

not sure.

but being willing, present and open.

not sure.

but here, with myself.

here intertwined with nalcoah.

...

growing pains

i am so tired.

i don’t know if i can do this.

i don’t know if i want to.

i look back on the agony i was in the last few days of january, where i wrote

“…i would do a...