Trust Fall

 - Yo.
- This is Rachel Cohen, is this Shaun West?
- Yes, mum. Stop doing this charade every time. I got the new body. I got the new identity. I got in on the diversity quota. I’m doing my classes and activities just as we agreed. No one is going to spy on me. No one even know it’s possible to change a body like this. Why are you calling on a weekday anyway?
- Have you been watching the news?
- No, I told you. I’ve been doing my classes and activities, as agreed.
- Lehman Brothers just collapsed.
- Oh, God! Is dad OK?
- My husband and I have decided to divest our US assets and work at the Singapore branch for the foreseeable future.
- Why are you… I don’t understand.
- I just wanted to tell you to study hard. I’m sure such an able bodied young man as yourself, with a great degree, can get a job in no time.
- What the fuck are you saying? I’m stuck like this? You’re the one that insisted on spending the 25 million so I could get a degree from the university you wanted me to go to. You were the one that couldn’t stand having a son that didn’t measured up at your chardonnay luncheons. Why didn’t you pay someone to get a smart son for you, instead of this big dicked chocolate boy? I’m no smarter than before. All I got is a half finished degree in a field I hate, hard abs and constant stop and frisk as soon as I leave campus. And you lost my fucking return ticket?!
- Tomorrow you are getting a delivery of some pretty sweet Nike kicks. A parting gift as the Cohen Scholarship Fund closes down.
- Kicks? Fucking listen to yourself! I’m not some native tribe to be bribed with shiny baubles. I’m your son!! What about my game collection? My Porsche?! The Armanis?
- I’m sure you are well aware that Shaun West is an orphan with no significant assets.
- Of course I fucking know! I set him up! Tragic backstory and poor grades to make a sympathetic redemption arc.
- The gate staff have your photo and will call the police if you attempt to enter. You know you can’t afford a third strike.
- Fuck you Rachel!