The Replacement - Chapter 2

“It’s an internet site,” Fred said, still recovering from… whatever the fuck he was just doing with his massive wife, Cheryl.

“Okay…” I said, trying my best not to sound judgemental. I honestly didn’t care at this point, I just wanted to get out of there.

“There’s a big market for women like Cheryl online, you don’t really see them much in real life, but people like her for her… size…” he said, pointing to her. She definitely didn’t look like any model I had ever seen online. She looked like she’d eaten a few maybe, but not one that was paid to look how she looked. Her fat body was easily three or four times the size of mine, maybe even more. She was round like an over inflated beach ball, ready to burst. Her clothes looked like they barely fit her, and they were likely 5XL already. Her thighs alone looked like they weighed more than my entire body, each one separately. Those jean shorts she wore looked like they were ready to rip.

“I can um… I can see it,” I said, still just wanting this conversation to end. I tried making my way to the door, but he grabbed me by my arm. He was much bigger than me too. I looked up at him and he looked down on me with a grave look on his face.

“We’re doing really well.”

I didn’t want to be rude. Aside from this bizarre display I had walked in on, Fred had been a perfectly kind host and helped me move. But there was nothing I wanted less than to take part in this.

“Sorry… I gotta go.”

-

My search continued alone in the new apartment. I googled jobs. I signed up for all of the alerts. I sent out my resume like it was a parasite ready to destroy civilization. I felt like I had applied for every job under the sun.

And then I waited.

I stared at my email inbox like it owed me money. I felt like in some ways, it did. Someone had to be reaching out to me, after such an eligible and incredible worker had just opened themselves up to the world. I had all of the qualifications, all of the work history. Nobody could deny my abilities.

And so I sat at my computer, staring at the inbox of my email. If ever I felt pathetic and useless, it was staring at my inbox and begging for the number of unread emails to go up. This didn’t even mean the email had anything to do with the job; I received many emails, from various subscriptions, general spam, and a myriad of other sources. But I was now hungrier than ever for that number to go up.

I didn’t even realize just how long I was staring at it. My wife got home and saw me staring at the screen. She checked up on me, asking if anyone had emailed me back. I gave her the bad news, and she shook her head, then went off to the room you gotta know she hated. The apartment life was not something we were prepared for.

We got dinner started in the cramped kitchen. Neither of us were very big, but there was absolutely no room for the two of us at one time. We usually liked to help each other cook, but I think the combination of recent tensions and the lack of space in this kitchen brought her to the point she asked me to leave the space and let her finish. I obliged, but it did little for my self esteem.

Later, the doorbell would ring. I opened the door to see Fred and Cheryl, who were holding a pie in her fat hands.

“Oh, hi Fred!” I said politely.

“Hey there, Luke,” he said back. “Just wanted to give you this pie, now that you’re all moved in, say welcome to the complex.”

I paused for a minute looking at Cheryl. Visions of what they had been doing in their apartment were swimming through my brain. I didn’t even want to consider all they had done throughout the years. Their life was their own, I didn’t want to pass judgment, but it was getting harder and harder.

“Oh, come on in,” I said, remembering I had to be a good host.

They filed in, Cheryl having to turn to squeeze inside. I figured she was probably used to it by now. Her massive, hulking frame looked ridiculous in our house, like a giant walking amongst dwarves.

We sat down in the living room, Julia and I on one of the couches, Cheryl sitting entirely on the other one, which was actually meant for three. It was incredible seeing just how massive she was. Fred stood next to her, his hand resting on her shoulder. We all realized she wouldn’t be able to sit anywhere else, but didn’t want to say anything.

“Fred, want me to get you a chair?” Julia asked.

“No thank you,” he said. “I’ve been sitting all day, feels good to stand.”

This had to be his way of coping with his wife’s obesity. The natural way that rolled off the tongue told me he had said that before, perhaps many times. I admired how supportive he was of his wife.

We all chatted for a while, learning about each others’ lives. Cheryl barely said anything; she let Fred speak for her, for the most part. It was hard to get a read on who she was, besides the biggest human I had ever seen. Eventually, the topic of work came up, I knew it would happen sooner or later.

“So what do you do, Luke?” Fred asked.

“Well, I’m in between jobs now, but I’m a bit of a techie,” I said. “I was doing really well, but the economy hit and my place of business went under. Just looking for a job now, trying to get back on the grind.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Fred said. “This economy is miserable, and inflation is off the charts. Seems like everything costs more now.”

“For sure,” I said. “But nobody’s bit on my resume yet. Getting a little frustrated but I’m working through it.”

“You’ll find something, you’re smart, I can tell.”

Cheryl gave me a warm smile.

Fred talked about his job, and I noticed he completely avoided the topic of the weird porn he created with Cheryl. Apparently, she did some office work, and he worked in a warehouse. Neither seemed very happy with their careers, for sure Fred. Again, Cheryl didn’t talk much about it. She just sat on the couch, looking like the sun, and we were orbiting planets. Julia would look at her every now and then, with an expression of fear… and something else? It was hard to tell.

Eventually, we called it a night, and I walked them to the door. Julia headed back to the room to turn in. I opened the door and let them file out, and we found ourselves politely chatting in the open doorway.

“Hey, thanks for keeping mum on the whole video thing,” Fred whispered. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“No problem,” I said. “But I’m sure it’s all worth it. Porn money is good if you can swing it, from what I hear.”

“You would think so,” he said. “I’m just having a lot of trouble branching out.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re trying to grow, and it’s just not happening. We have a few people that follow us, but I’m not getting our name out there. Apparently, I’m supposed to be on, like, 50 different programs, but I can’t figure it all out.”

“Yeah,” I thought out loud. “Probably want to increase your social media presence, get on a good sub site, automate posts to various feeds to gain traction, you know…”

“No, I don’t,” Fred said, the light beginning to burn in his eyes.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it-”

Fred put his hand on the door before I could close it.

“Luke, you need some cash I’m sure,” Fred said. “Why don’t you set up all of those automotronics you were just talking about. I’ll give you twenty bucks for each one you set up, you just have to show me what they are and how to access them!”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t really want to get involved in all of… well you know. I don’t really feel comfortable.”

“You don’t have to work on the show, in any capacity, other than setting up the profiles,” he said. “I promise, you won’t regret it, and you’d be helping us out tremendously. It’s basically free money, you can’t turn that down.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

“Please do,” he replied. “Have a good night.”

I closed the door, and walked back to the bedroom. Julia was laying in the bed, her eyes closed. I quietly performed my nightly routine and used the restroom. I crawled into bed next to Julia and closed my eyes.

“Do you think she would crush you if she sat on you?” I heard Julia ask.

“What?” I asked, somewhat startled that she was even awake.

“If Cheryl sat on you, do you think it would like… kill you?”

What a bizarre question.

“I mean, she’s very large. Probably weighs a lot. I figure at the right angle, yeah she could crush me to death. Best case scenario, she would leave me in the hospital. Can’t really see how that would ever happen though. Why do you ask?”

She turned away from me.

“Just thinking about how big she is. I can’t believe someone is married to someone so fat. It’s disgusting.”