Backyard Dungeon 7 Chapter 4

Nileme was as happy as clam at high water. The warrior woman had picked up a few very nice pieces to start her gun collection, including a pearl handled revolver from the 1920s, a replica flintlock musket, and a derringer that had belonged to some obscure riverboat gambler.

“I guess she was quite the wildcat.” I grinned as I looked over the paperwork that came with the derringer. “Won a bunch of money, drank it all away, then won a bunch more.”

“Can such a small thing really do that much damage?” the Elven woman asked as she looked at the tiny gun.

“Maybe if you got up real close,” Nathan snorted. “But really they are better at wounding your opponent enough for you to leg it the fuck out of somewhere. More people probably died from infection after than the shot itself.”

“It’s so intricate, though.” Nileme smiled as she looked at the derringer. “That’s what I liked about it most.”

The small firearm had an ivory handle and delicate, floral etching along the barrel, hammer, and trigger typical of the Victorian era.

“Makes sense that it belonged to a lady,” Pearson replied as he looked at it. “Pretty well made, too. Even if it didn’t have a lot of killing power, it was definitely useful for self defense. Women used to carry these because they were easily concealed in a purse or something. Nice little historical piece, if you ask me.”

The three of us had left the gun show and gotten some food, and then we drove to a park by the lake to look over our hauls as we ate on the back of the Jeep.

It was a cool fall day, but still mild enough to comfortably be outside, even this close to Lake Erie. It was a rare, sunny afternoon, and the water sparked with a wreath of orange and yellow trees around it.

“I wish I had more rounds of this double barrel,” I commented as I looked at my new big game rifle. “I’d like to try it out.”

“Yeah.” The sandy-haired man nodded with an envious expression. “I could order some for you. But they’re not cheap, and it’ll probably take a minute to get them in. Might be worth it to look into some good old DIY. Just learn to load the rounds yourself if you got the space for it.”

“I do.” I grinned as I perked up. “That’s definitely worth looking into.”

And if I got the right shells, I could also have Tauric work up some of his special bullets for me, too.

Fuck yeah.

“Did you two see anything you might need some ‘help’ buying?” Nathan asked as I put my double barrel back in the case it came in.

“I’d like to get some ammo in bulk,” I replied, and I sipped some of my pop from its paper cup. “And I’m really interested in getting some of these night vision goggles.”

“You don’t need my help with that,” the eccentric man snorted as I handed him the card the sales woman had given me.

“No,” I agreed. “But I want to get five or six of them. So, if there’s a way you can get a bulk discount, that’d be nice.”

I was in a place now where money wasn’t really an object anymore, but I had grown up pretty poor, and some things just stuck with you.

Any money I could save was money I had for something else that I wanted to do. My pop would have called it good stewardship, but I liked the word frugal. Frugal sounds fancy, but it just means knowing a good deal for what it was. I had big plans, and the more I kept tucked away, the better off I’d be to see those plans through.

“Five or six?” Nathan chuckled. “Planning on taking your lady friends out hunting at night? Sure, I’ll check into that for you. Text me a list of the ammo you need too, and I’ll see to it.”

“Sweet.” I smiled. “This was a really good idea, Nathan. Thanks for inviting us along.”

“Thank you.” Pearson shook his head. “Don’t really have a lot of friends around anymore to take to stuff like this. Not to mention the possibility of you coming on as an investor. If we can get a website or something off the ground, the sky’s the limit for how much money we could make.”

“I like the sound of that.” I smirked as I gathered up our lunch trash and took it over to one of the park trash bins.

Then we drove home and dropped Pearson off at his shop, and Nileme and I went back to the cul-de-sac after that. I pulled into the driveway of Ibseth’s house and opened the back of the Rubicon so Nileme and I could take out our purchases. The Dolrath woman took hers back to her house to put them in the gun room in her basement until I could help her find some display stands. Meanwhile, I went into Ibseth’s house to show her my new gun.

As soon as I stepped into the living room, though, I took in all the shopping bags and boxes on the floor. Ibseth and Bolra were busy as they organized the items, but they looked up as I came in.

“You girls got quite a lot,” I snorted as I set my gun case down next to the door. “What all did you get?”

“We had a lovely time.” Bolra grinned. “We got Ibseth some new clothes and looked at some beautiful furniture for my new house.”

“And Amrila got some things for her home,” the white-haired woman added with a giggle. “Almost all of it from the Halloween section at the store. And all of this is for the yards like you asked.”

“Really?” I asked with a raised eyebrow and looked around. “Let’s take a look.”

“They had so much,” the pretty Orc remarked in an excited tone. “Such odd and wonderful things.”

“This one fills with air and almost looks like a Pit Wyrm,” Ibseth giggled as she showed me an inflatable black dragon, still in its box. “Amrila suggested it. She laughed so hard when she saw it.”

I looked at the box and saw it would be fourteen feet tall when inflated and had red eyes that would light up.

“Fucking sweet!” I grinned. “This is perfect. Oh, baby. What else did you guys get?”

The two women showed me all the things they’d gotten for the yard displays, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

There were skeletons, a couple of ghosts that could be hung from a tree and fly around in a circle, and a ton of bags of fake webs. I got more excited with each item as I pictured how I’d put it all together.

“There’s this big, hairy spider, and its legs move,” Bolra giggled as she pointed at one box. “And a gar-- gar-- what’s it called again, Ibseth?”

“A gar-go-eel?” the curvy Elf squinted as she tried to read the unfamiliar word. “Amrila said she thought it looked like a Troll.”

Wait a minute.

“It’s a gargoyle,” I laughed. “Amrila said it looked like a Troll?”

I stared at the resin statue, and sure enough, it kinda did look like a Troll.

A Pit Wyrm, a big-ass spider, and a Troll. Those were all monsters my Zencarri wife and I had fought together in The Gloom.

“Amrila thought we should find a way to put jewels on the gar-gee-oil,” Ibseth explained. “So, I asked the lady at the shop, and she said we could glue these onto it.”

The white-haired woman held up a big bag of little plastic gems in assorted colors, plus a hot glue gun.

Amrila had done this all as a little inside joke for me, and I loved it.

“Did we do well, husband?” Bolra asked with a smile as she looked at the expression on my face.

“This could not be more perfect, thank you.” I nodded as I hugged and kissed my wives, and they showered me with kisses of their own. “I’m going to go over and see Amrila real quick. Be right back.”

As Ibseth and Bolra finished their organization of the decorations, I stepped outside and crossed the cul-de-sac to my Zencarri wife’s house.

Since the only neighbors we had left were Brock and Tanya, I didn’t make any pretext about knocking on the door and just walked in. The beautiful Zencarri was in the living room, and she carefully placed a sparkly, black skull on her shelf between two new pillar candles. Then Amrila turned and smiled as she saw me.

“Hello, partner,” the horned woman purred. “Did you have fun at the gun show?”

“I did.” I nodded as I came up to the red-skinned woman and wrapped my arms around her. “And I came home to one hell of a surprise.”

Amrila giggled, got up on her tiptoes, and kissed me.

The kiss raised my blood, and the two of us ripped each other’s clothes off and had some very athletic sex, right there in the living room. The Zencarri woman was insatiable, and I always found it easy to lose myself in her rough brand of affection and her tight, wet pussy.

About an hour later, after we’d had our fill of pleasure, the two of us laid on the soft couch while naked and a little sweaty. I had to admit, the crushed velvet did feel really good on my bare skin. Much better than leather would have as it stuck to the skin. I could see now why Amrila went with this sofa.

“Mmmm,” the horned woman sighed as she laid her head on my chest. “How can life with you get sweeter with each passing day?”

“Same way that you just get hotter the more time I spend with you,” I rumbled as I let my hand trace the smooth, sensual line of her back. “I really like the theme you picked for Halloween, too.”

“So, you’re onto my game?” Amrila snickered. “I didn’t know if you would notice right away.”

“You picked out all the monsters we fought together when we first met.” I smiled. “Kinda a romantic gesture, if you ask me.”

“I’m so glad you noticed.” Amrila grinned. “A display of each of our conquests. But I couldn’t find any that looked like a Basilisk. Or any good Demons.”

“I think you did great,” I said as I took in the clean scent of her strawberry-blonde hair. “Maybe we could get little swords for some of those skeletons and make them look like they’re fighting the monsters.”

“I love that idea,” Amrila chuckled. “Oh, Ibseth and I had an idea while I was out today. We think you should take Bolra out, just you and her.”

“That’s a good idea,” I agreed, since I hadn’t gotten to spend a lot of time alone with the willowy mystic since we’d gotten married.

“But I think you should take Ibseth out by herself sometime, too,” the Zencarri woman continued. “Nileme and I get so much time with you in The Gloom. I think it would be nice for them both.”

“You’ve got a point.” I nodded. “But don’t you think you and Nileme should get a date night, too?”

“I wouldn’t say no to that,” Amrila purred as she moved her head to look at me with her dark eyes. “But I have my nights with you, and our adventures. I don’t really need all that romantic stuff. But Ibseth and Bolra are different. They are soft and sweet and deserve the kind of romance they dreamed of as girls.”

“That’s surprisingly intuitive of you,” I teased.

“When I was a thief, I had to be good at reading people.” The horned woman shrugged. “It’s how I got by for years and years.”

“Well, then,” I snorted as I started to sit up. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go ask Bolra out on a date.”

Amrila and I took a shower together at her place, and then I went back over to Ibseth’s house.

I found Ibseth in the kitchen, where she had started dinner.

“Hey, baby,” I growled as I came up behind her, lightly placed my hand on her round belly, and kissed the back of her soft neck.

“Hello again, my king,” Ibseth breathed as she smiled.

“Amrila told me about you two’s idea,” I said quietly as I looked around to see if Bolra was nearby. “But she added that I should take you out sometime soon, too.”

“Oh?” The white-haired woman blushed. “I’m not worried about myself. I have had the most time with you of all of us. But Bolra hasn’t had as much yet.”

“I know it’s not your nature to think about yourself,” I said as I looked down at the petite woman. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have a little something special for yourself, too. I’ll take Bolra out tonight. But I also want to take you out soon.”

“That sounds lovely,” Ibseth sighed with a glow to her heart-shaped face. “I would never say no to you, beloved.”

“That’s not going to mess up your dinner plan is it?” I asked as I looked at the chicken breasts she’d set out to marinate. “If we go out tonight?”

“Not at all,” the white-haired woman giggled. “There will just be left overs for tomorrow. I can make them into delicious sandwiches.”

“You’re amazing.” I grinned as I rubbed her belly a little. “Have you felt the baby moving yet?”

“Not yet.” Ibseth shook her head with a smile. “That comes later. But I will tell you as soon as I do, so that you can feel your child kick and stretch in my belly.”

“I can’t wait,” I replied as I kissed Ibseth’s neck again. “Where’s Bolra?”

“She is out in the yard with Growler and Dread,” the curvy Elf answered.

With one last kiss for good measure, I left my first wife in the kitchen and went out into the backyard to find the lovely seer as she played with our garms.

The two big, white furred dogs chased after a fuzzy tennis ball that the beautiful Orc had thrown for them. The garm’s dark red ears flapped behind them, and they wagged their long tails with excitement before Dread got to the ball first and ran it back to Bolra.

“Looks like you’re having fun,” I commented as I walked up to the green-skinned woman.

“I do love them.” Bolra smiled sweetly as she threw the ball again. “All the animals we kept at Tors Bane were livestock, or working animals. I’ve never had a real pet before.”

“I can tell they love you, too,” I said as I watched the boys chase the ball.

Dread got the ball first again. The passive garm had gotten faster than his braver brother, but Growler was already bigger and had more muscle.

“I think they love us all.” Bolra’s smile widened. “But Growler has definitely chosen you as his person. And Dread’s world revolves around Ibseth. I think that’s sweet though.”

I couldn’t argue that.

“Hey,” I said as I looked at the airy woman. “You should go get your shoes on. I want to take you somewhere special.”

“Really?” the pretty Orc asked, and she blinked up at me in surprise. “Just me?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Go get ready. I’d like to get to the city before it gets dark.”

“Yes, husband.” Bolra blushed, dropped her eyes, and then headed into the house.

I took a moment to check the garm’s food and water bowls, but the seer had already filled them, so I went into the house, too. Nileme and Amrila were in the kitchen now, and they helped Ibseth set the table or cut vegetables. I stopped long enough to give them all kisses, which was one of my favorite duties as a husband to four women.

My life at home was a constant wheel of affection, thoughtful gestures, and love. Everywhere I turned was an amazing woman I got to spend the rest of my life with, and I’d decided long ago to never take that for granted. Best of all was how they loved each other, too. I couldn’t imagine a better way to make a family since I had found them.

I met Bolra in the living room, where she’d put on a pair of cork heeled wedge style shoes that completed her flowy, boho look. We got into the Jeep, and I drove us up into Cleveland as we listened to an oldies station that played the kind of folk rock the Orcish woman had come to love since she’d moved to the surface. I headed into the city, to a neighborhood called Coventry where I had hung out a lot in college.

There were old brick buildings from the industrial era, little boutiques, and odd little restaurants that served whatever trendy food was in style with hipsters and arty kids from the local college. I found a nice little Indian place and paid for parking nearby. It was in a good spot, and we’d be able to wander around without having to walk a mile back at the end of the night.

I got out and opened Bolra’s door for her, and the mystic smiled shyly and looked around.

“This is beautiful,” the pretty Orc breathed as she looked at the turn of the century architecture. “It’s so different from anything in Westherst.”

“I’ve always liked it.” I grinned as I looked around, too. “I used to come here all the time and sketch.”

I led Bolra to the restaurant, and a young woman in a bright sari sat us, handed us some menus, and then left to get us water as we decided what we wanted.

“Her dress is so beautiful,” the mystic said as she set down the menu, since she hadn’t learned to read in English yet. “What should we get?”

“I always get Vindaloo,” I replied. “But it can be really spicy. Is that something you like?”

“Oh, yes.” The seer nodded enthusiastically before she leaned in and lowered her voice. “Orcs always use many spices in our cooking. Xuag brought a pepper plant from Tak’Fett that he jealously guards. He only shares on very special occasions.”

Given what I knew about Orcs, that fact didn’t come as a surprise.

“Sweet.” I smiled. “When I used to come here on dates, I’d always have to get mild dishes, since they give you big portions to share. You’re going to love this.”

When the girl in the sari came back, she set our water down on the table and pulled out a pad and pen from somewhere in the folds of her long skirt.

“What can I get for you?” The Indian woman smiled as she spoke in an American accent, and to her credit, she didn’t even blink at Bolra’s green skin.

“Can we get some chai and poppadom to start, and then the vindaloo with basmati rice?” I requested.

“Do you want it hot or mild?” the young server asked.

“Hot please.” I grinned and started to get excited.

“I’ll have that out shortly,” the girl in the sari replied. “My name is Preet, if you need anything else.”

As Preet left again to put in our order, I turned back to Bolra.

“What other kind of stuff do you like?” I asked as we reached across the small table at the same time to hold hands. “I feel like I’ve always known you, but don’t know a lot about you at the same time.”

“I don’t know.” Bolra blushed again as her green eyes looked into mine. “My duties in the village always took up so much time. I never really had time to find my own interests.”

I looked around the little restaurant. There were other customers all absorbed by their own conversations, and we were in a corner far enough apart that I felt we could talk freely without anyone paying much attention to us.

“Well, tell me about that,” I said. “Like your abilities. Were you always a seer? Or was that something you were taught?”

“One has to be born a seer,” the pretty Orc replied. “I started to show signs of it at a very young age. Xuag was thrilled, because it meant I would have station in our clan.”

“What’s it like?” I asked. “I’m sure you get sick of people asking about it. But do you see stuff all the time? Or do you have to choose to do it?”

“Visions come on their own sometimes,” Bolra explained. “Those are always the most powerful ones, and they are often frightening. But there are things I can do to bring on smaller visions. Like the runes, or burning certain incense.”

“If you could choose to make it stop, would you?” I asked.

“No one has ever asked me that before,” the mystic mused as she cocked her head to the side and looked at me with a sense of wonder. “Orcs see it as a gift from the gods, and no one questions it. But I don’t think I would. It’s such a part of me. I don’t know what my life would be like without it.”

Just then, Preet brought out our chai and the poppadom and left again. Bolra took a sip of the sweet, spicy tea, and her face lit up.

“This is lovely!” The green-skinned woman smiled as she took another sip. “Scourge would love this.”

“I’m sure he would,” I chuckled. “What about animals? You seem to have a special connection with them.”

“It started as part of my duties,” Bolra replied as she munched on poppadom. “But as I grew older, it became less a chore and more of a privilege. The animals provided us with food and clothing, and in return I would make sure their lives would be as pleasant as they could be.”

I could feel myself fall more in love with the gentle, kind seer. Everything about her seems both mystical, but also earthy and solid.

When our food came, I made Bolra a plate of rice and vindaloo with some naan bread and showed her how to use the naan to scoop up the food. Bolra took her first bite, and her emerald eyes went wide as she looked up at me.

“Is it too spicy?” I asked in concern.

“Not at all,” the Orc breathed. “It is divine. I’ve never tasted anything like it before!”

I smiled, and the two of us ate every last bite of the delicious food as we talked and slowly grew closer.

It was one of the best dates I’d ever had. Conversation was effortless, and after we had finished, Bolra and I walked around the neighborhood. Most of the storefronts were what I’d expect. Gourmet pickles, small batch breweries, and vintage shops.

But then we passed a kooky little place that had bunches of dried sage hung out front.

“This looks interesting,” I commented, and I stopped and read the sign that said The Sympathetic Witch.

“It looks like an apothecary,” Bolra replied as she looked at the display window.

“I think it might be,” I chuckled as I noted the jars of herbs, a small rack of crystal pendulums, and a book that had the word “magick” spelled with a K on the cover. “Let’s take a look.”

As we stepped inside, the place had a strong smell of incense and at least one clerk who was a white woman with dreadlocks.

“Can I help you?” the slim woman with dreadlocks asked as we walked in.

The woman seemed skeptical as she looked me up and down. I didn’t fit into a place like this at all, with my old jeans and work boots. But then the clerk spotted Bolra as she came in behind me, and her whole demeanor changed.

“Oh my goddess!” the young woman with dreads cooed as she took in my wife’s green skin, long auburn hair, and delicate tusks. “You are just the most divine creature I have ever seen! Did you just get back from a LARP?”

“Yes.” Bolra nodded as she looked at me. “I enjoy the cosplay. Is that correct, husband?”

“Yeah,” I chuckled. “I already changed, but it takes ages for my wife to get off that makeup, so we figured we’d enjoy the evening first.”

“I’m Starlight,” Dreads introduced herself as she came over to Bolra and grinned. “Can I help you find anything special today?”

“Uhh…” The green-skinned woman paused as she looked around the store. “Do you have any incense for divination?”

“Of course!” Starlight exclaimed.

I sat back to enjoy the show as the dreaded clerk led Bolra around.

“I just can’t get over the makeup!” Starlight gushed. “It looks so real. I just love it!”

Soon, my wife had an armload of incense, candles, and little jars of herbs.

I didn’t know how much of it would actually work, since my only experience with occult stuff was a couple of spooky girls from art school who were always very concerned about Mercury being in retrograde. I didn’t really know what that meant, but they seemed to feel it was bad. I paid for the items, and Starlight put them in a nice paper bag that had the name of the shop on it.

Then Bolra and I left and continued down the street.

“Find anything good in there?” I asked as my wife looked through the bag.

“I think so,” Bolra giggled. “It’s all different then what I’m used to, but I’m interested to try it.”

As we turned a corner, it had gotten fairly dark out, and I saw what looked like the last remnants of a street fair. People packed up their tables, and the last of the food trucks got ready to move onto the bars further down the street. The pretty Orc and I passed the last of the hangers on who were still hoping to make one last sale. Then Bolra stopped and looked around as she wrinkled her brow.

“What’s the matter?” I asked as I looked around too and wondered if I’d missed something.

“It’s just--” Bolra started to say, but then she took my hand and made a beeline to one of the last tables.

It was the Humane Society, and the volunteers were in the process of loading some animal crates onto their truck.

The mystic went up to a pen that had wood chips at the bottom and four puppies of different breeds in it. They all looked cute and sleepy, after a long day outside being petted and ogled by passersby.

“Ohhh,” Bolra breathed as she looked at the puppies. “That one is perfect.”

My wife pointed at a little wooly puppy curled up away from the others.

The small dog had brown, curly fur and looked more like a teddy bear with its short ears and mushed up snout. I could see the look on the seer’s face, and I knew she had to have the scruffy little guy.

“Excuse me,” I said to a man with a long beard and hair pulled up into the bun. “We’d like to adopt this little brown one that looks like a dust mop.”

“Oh, Eddie!” Bolra gasped as she looked up at me with a radiant smile.

Man Bun seemed less impressed.

“I’m sorry.” The bearded man shook his head. “We’ve wrapped up for the day.”

Bolra’s face fell a little, and I could tell the guy’s icy tone had bothered her. I suppressed a bit of protective anger and gave the guy a friendly smile.

“I know,” I replied in an apologetic tone. “But we already know the one we want. Could we just adopt it super quick? I can donate a little extra for the trouble.”

“Listen, man,” Man Bun said with a huff. “If you’d gotten here an hour ago--”

“Shut up, Greg,” I plump woman in a blue Humane Society t-shirt said as she came off the truck.

The lady had short, gray hair and a permanent scowl of a true midwesterner. But she came over to us with one last, withering look at Man Bun Greg and then gave us a smile.

“I’m Missy,” the woman said in a much more pleasant tone. “Which one did you want?”

“The little mop-like one right there,” the pretty Orc replied in a shy tone and pointed.

“Whoo, girl.” Missy smiled as she looked at the green-skinned woman. “You are really something. But I should let you know that one doesn’t really take to people. Or other dogs for that matter. Do you want to hold her a minute before you decide?”

“May I?” Bolra smiled a little as she perked back up.

“Missy, we really gotta--” the bearded man started to say.

“I said shut up, Greg!” Missy snapped back as she stepped into the pen and scooped up the brown ball of mostly fur.

The puppy opened her big, black eyes and started to wiggle to try to get away, but then the gray-haired woman handed the dog to Bolra.

“Shh shh shh, little one,” the Orcish woman said as the puppy looked up at her. “You are safe.”

The scruffy pup stopped for a moment, and then the dog wagged its stumpy little tail so hard its whole butt wiggled, too.

“Well, looky there,” Missy laughed. “She’s tried to run away from everyone else who wanted to touch her today. It’s almost like she was waiting for you.”

“Thank you so much.” I smiled at the older woman. “We’ll take her, obviously. And I’d like to donate an extra thousand on top of the adoption fees. For your trouble.”

“O-Oh, thank you!” Missy gasped as she grabbed her ample chest with surprise. “There’s just a couple papers you’ll have to sign.”

I had only planned to give an extra fifty or something, but the thousand was worth it for the look on Greg’s face when I made the offer.

I signed the forms, and Missy gave us a little crate with the Humane Society logo on it and a leash, but I doubted Bolra would put the little dog down any time soon.

“What are you going to call her?” I asked as we walked away, and the seer fussed over the adorable puppy.

“What’s the name of that princess from the film Ibseth and Amrila love so much?” Bolra asked. “The one with the man in the black mask and the large man who speaks in rhymes?”

“Buttercup?” I couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes!” The willowy woman nodded. “I’ll call her Buttercup.”

“Buttercup it is.” I smiled and took Bolra to a park close by so we could walk Buttercup a little before we headed home.

It took a minute for the ball of fluff to take to her leash, but with the mystic’s gentle ways, we got to walk around a little. Buttercup had a little prancing gate when she walked, and anytime she got excited, her whole back half would start to wiggle with joy. The two of us stopped in a secluded spot, surrounded by trees so the puppy could rest her tiny legs, and we tied the leash to a bench so the dust mop could explore a little.

Bolra and I sat down and snuggled up in the cool evening air, and my wife sighed with contentment.

“This has been such a lovely evening,” the pretty Orc breathed. “Thank you so much. I didn’t know love could be like this.”

“I do love you,” I replied. “And I don’t just want to say that. I want you to know it from every action I take.”

“I love you too, Eddie,” Bolra replied.

As I looked into the big, emerald colored eyes, I felt pulled toward the seer.

I leaned down and kissed her as the stars started to come out overhead. As our tongues caressed each other, I could hear the green-skinned woman’s breath quicken, and it sent a rush of blood into my core. Bolra reached for me as our passion for one another intensified, and I pulled her onto my lap.

Buttercup settled down on the grass and covered her face with her tiny paw so she didn’t have to watch.

“Ohh, Eddie,” Bolra purred.