mrculexus

The Rampart.

Added 2021-05-05 13:02:31 +0000 UTC

I am not convinced the Rampart is real. No credible enlightener or person of letter has documented her existence.

She's an excuse drunken steering. A trick of the ocean waves. An urban legend. You want to tell me anyone is going to imagine an enormous, curvy bioluminescent woman besides a sailor who hasn't 'gone to port' in a week? Balderdash.

Supposedly she has been seen by trawlers, lazing on her back like an otter as she sings dines on giant clams. Coastal villages swear she has partially come to shore to rest her head on the soft sand and nap. These people want publicity.

There is absolutely another explanation for that weird sound. It's not her laughter.

Supposedly, she despises trolls above all others - even if there is little reason or pattern to her attacks. Supposedly that's why less troll battleships have even gotten close to our land lately. Hence her name.

Suspicious sailors will tell you that she is the result of an ancient tragedy where hundred of young women, held captive and abandoned on a sinking ship all drowned at once and became ONE BIG Rusalka.

The same sailors will tell you you can avoid her wrath by offering her mangos or playing smooth jazz.

My hypothesis is that sailors are horny morons.

-Devon Zubb.

This was, of course, Kai's request.