Maggie’s Ghostly Torment
Added 2022-09-07 04:06:41 +0000 UTCMaggie’s Ghostly Torment
Maggie Hill was
Comments
I think it's great you are trying 3rd person. It's always good to challenge yourself creatively. That being said, I don't think it's quite there. It kind of feels like you are burying the story by not having her be aware of what happened. Just spitballing here, but maybe if the roles were reversed -- She is aware of what's happening the entire time, but the guys are possessed by spirits that are having there way with her. I don't know. I just know it doesn't land the way most of your stories do. You're a really talented writer though, I'm sure it will get there. Keep trying new things.
D Grace
2022-09-09 06:16:47 +0000 UTC
