[Mad Tiger] Chapter 19

The Hokage’s office wasn’t half bad—kinda cozy, actually. Big desk, piles of papers and scrolls stacked so high they practically made a nest.

"Tora-chan, are you sprawled out on the reports again?" Kushina-san’s hand started tugging a paper out from under me. I lazily batted at her hand with a paw, playing it cool.

Since I’d been temporarily promoted to "Godaime’s Cat," I figured I should live up to the title a little. For the past week, I’d been doing just that. During office hours, I was a fixture here—napping like clockwork. Conveniently, those hours lined up perfectly with my post-training nap time.

In the mornings, I "escorted" Naruto to the Academy. And by "escorted," I mean he stuffed me into his backpack. Great endurance training for the kid, right? I’d sit through the first class, which was usually some interesting ninjutsu theory or tactical breakdown. After that, though, it was all kiddie ninja stuff—running, obstacle courses, throwing pointy things at wooden targets. That’s when I’d bolt to the Inuzuka clan grounds.

There, I’d get a couple of hours of chakra training with Kuromaru. Then it was time for a meal from my very own food dish—set up next to the puppy’s dish so the little guy wouldn’t feel left out. Another hour or so of training, then I’d head back to catch the tail end of lunch with the Academy kids.

Lately, Ino had been sharing treats from her spare bento. It used to be reserved for "Sasuke-kun," but now? Now, I am indulging myself at Uchiha’s expense with great moral satisfaction.

Afternoons were for exploring Konoha, checking out landmarks, meeting the locals, and generally staking my claim as a ninja cat extraordinaire. By the time Hokage office hours rolled around, I’d return to flop dramatically onto the paperwork and eavesdrop on the latest gossip and reports.

After fulfilling my Godaime Cat duties, I’d find Naruto and his friends just before sunset. They’d usually be hanging out at the playground or sports field, and we’d play games like "Catch the Cat," "Who Can Climb the Tree Faster," or the classic "Mouse on a String." They’d tie a little toy mouse to a string and run like their lives depended on it while I gave chase. Great for their agility, great for my training, and Akamaru usually joined in—mostly chasing me. Poor pup still couldn’t figure out how to climb trees, though.

Afterward, Naruto would carry me home. Sometimes it was Sasuke or Choji who got that honor. Kiba would drag his dog along, and Shikamaru, well… he dragged his laziness.

Dinner depended on whether Kushina-san was back from her Hokage duties. Three times this week, Naruto surprised me by cooking for her himself. The kid’s only eleven, but he’s got skills. Most of the time, he’d send a shadow clone out for groceries. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to endure the trial of taste-testing an 11-year-old’s experiments too often. My meals were mostly prepped—meat, tofu, or boiled chicken. Though one time, Naruto made an omelet. Surprisingly edible. I even ate a piece.

Post-dinner, Naruto often hit the training field. I’d tag along to practice my chakra control. It was getting easier every day—thanks to proper training, good food, and a top-tier teacher. In just over a week, my progress had me purring with pride.

Man, it’s only been ten days in Konoha, but it feels like a vacation at a summer sports camp—new adventures every day.

I’ve got to say, Yamanaka’s "brain zap" that unlocked all my anime memories has been super helpful for figuring out who’s who and what’s what. That said, the anime barely scratched the surface of Konoha.

By my calculations, the Ninja Academy has at least 400 kids. There are six grades, starting at around age six and finishing at twelve or thirteen. Each class has anywhere from 20 to 36 kids—Naruto’s class being the biggest. I snooped around the school just to confirm. They’ve even got something like an "honors" track, judging by the clan kids and the teachers’ chatter, plus a couple of regular classes per grade. Ninja demographics, I guess.

So, 50–80 kids graduate each year, but the anime only ever focused on 12 of them—and a handful of adults. Figures. It’s a show about the main characters, after all. But really, you could make a whole movie about any one of these kids. On the other hand it’s Naruto who is destined to save the world. Or maybe it was just a made up story for the show. 

After all, Kushina-san’s alive, healthy, and running the village. Naruto’s not even a jinchuuriki, and he’s got friends. Sure, not everyone loves him, but "the whole village hates him" narrative? Not even close. So who knows, what’s up with canon.

Speaking of discoveries, I stumbled upon the Hyuga clan recently. Their eyes are pale blue—not as bright as Naruto’s, but not blank-white like in the anime. They even have pupils! I caught sight of one of Naruto’s classmates training with a boy whose forehead was clean—no weird green X or anything. His name was Neji, according to the girl he was sparring with.

Neji kept calling her "Hyuga-hime" or just "hime-san"—so she must be Hinata. From what I’ve observed, the other kids don’t really interact with her much, and she’s not part of any of the girls’ cliques. Naruto and his crew don’t hang out with her either. Makes sense—they’re eleven-year-old boys. What do they need girls for? Especially ones who barely talk. I can’t tell if she’s just shy or thinks she’s too good for everyone. Not as simple as the anime made it seem.

"Tora-san," Kushina said, scratching behind my ear and snapping me out of my thoughts. "Let me grab something here…"

I stayed put, doing my best impression of a fluffy paperweight as she dug around beneath me. Eventually, she shoved me to the middle of the desk and triumphantly exclaimed, "Aha! Got it!"

Suddenly, a deafening bang shattered the peace. I nearly jumped out of my fur. The office door practically flew off its hinges as a blonde woman stormed in, radiating enough fury to scorch the room.

And—whoa! Those boobs. Seriously, one of those could squash me flat, and the other could finish the job.

"TSUNADE-SAMA!" a frantic voice declared like some kind of herald, as another woman darted in after her.

Oh yeah. That’s her. Princess of the Senju clan, legendary medic, and so on.

"Tsunade-sama, please calm down!" the woman repeated.

And right behind her came another familiar figure—a pig in a red vest and actual pearl necklace! I thought that was anime nonsense, but nope, here he was in the flesh.

"Oh, this is gonna be good!" the pig squealed excitedly.

“How dare you accuse my teacher of anything?!” Tsunade’s voice thundered from the doorway. “You sly fox, you’ve twisted everything to grab this position! And now you’re finishing off the old man, huh? What kind of shady politics are you running here?!”

Kushina-san’s hair bristled, a clear warning sign.

“Shizune-san,” she barked, her tone sharp enough to rival Tsunade’s. “Close the door on your way out. The princess and I need to have a private conversation.”

Shizune hesitated but eventually retreated, closing the door behind her. What followed was some ninja sorcery: Kushina moved her hands in a blur of seals and touched the wall. A ripple of glowing green characters spread out across the surface.

“Now no one can eavesdrop,” Kushina said, her voice eerily calm. “Take a seat, onee-san. Our little act was a smashing success.”

I nearly smacked my jaw against the table in shock. These ladies were devious! Clearly, if this Sarutobi Hiruzen guy was enough of a schemer to warrant such theatrics, they weren’t pulling any punches.

Man, I have to touch those.

“Who’s this little guy?” Tsunade asked as I hopped onto her lap, curiosity sparkling in her eyes. The pig on the floor, meanwhile, snorted indignantly.

“This is Tora-chan,” Kushina introduced me with an amused grin.

I placed my paws on the impressive peaks before me—soft and squishy. So niiiiice. Nyaaah… Pure bliss. I could do this all day.

“Tora-chan, stop kneading my boobs,” Tsunade laughed, gently nudging me away.

I sighed dramatically and buried my face in her deep neckline. Moments like these are when you fully appreciate being a cat. If I were a 17-year-old guy, would I ever get away with this? Not a chance. Instead, I got back scratches and affectionate pats while basking in the ultimate comfort. Life. Is. Good.

“Looks like you’ve won over yet another admirer, onee-san,” Kushina teased.

“Hey, fuzzball!” came an annoyed voice from below. “Get your paws off my mistress!”

“As if!” I retorted, shooting a glance at the pig in pearls. “Buzz off, Nif-Nif, and let me enjoy this moment,” I added, rubbing my cheek against the softness, just to rub it in.

For some reason, I always assumed this pig was female—probably because of the necklace—but now I wasn’t so sure. Guess accessories mean nothing when it comes to gender.

“I’m Tonton, not Nif-Nif!” the pig squealed indignantly.

I sized him up. If you stretched my tail out, I was bigger than him. Definitely not some baby piglet. A miniature breed, maybe?

“And I’m Tora, not ‘fuzzball,’” I shot back.

Tsunade stopped petting me and turned her attention back to Kushina, the two of them discussing their plans to catch Sarutobi in the act. From what I gathered, the old man wanted to rule forever and was systematically eliminating potential “rivals.” Except Kushina and the Uchiha clan had thrown a wrench into his plans. Tsunade, was aware of his scheming, though she had been out of Konoha for a while.

It seemed Kushina regarded Tsunade as a sort of respected elder sister and kept her updated on Konoha’s goings-on. Recently, Tsunade had received a tearful letter from Hiruzen himself, practically begging for her protection against Kushina’s supposed “persecution.” Guess he thought he could shield himself behind his student’s… formidable assets. And to think, in the anime, Tsunade became the Fifth Hokage!

Their conversation wrapped up quickly, and Kushina removed the barrier around the room. The moment the seals disappeared, Tsunade resumed her booming act.

“Don’t think for a second I’ll let this slide! I’ll be watching you like a hawk! Stay away from my teacher!”

“I’ll remember you, fuzzball! And don’t you dare touch my mistress again!” Tonton added his two cents, snout in the air.

I snorted. “I’ll remember you too, Nuf-Nuf.”

“I’m Ton-ton!” he squealed as Shizune scooped him up, trailing after the still-fuming Tsunade. Honestly, they should be performing on Broadway with this level of drama.

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TN: Nif-Nif/Nuf-Nuf are the names of Three Little Pigs in Russian translation. Their names are Nif-nif, Naf-Naf and Nuf-Nuf.

I thought about changing Tonton’s nickname to something more familiar to an English-speaking audience, like Porky, Pumba, or Peppa. But, popular pig characters with recognizable names didn’t have the rhyming names the original used to play off “Tonton.” So, I decided to translate it as is.