Talkin' CHAMPAGNE AND BULLETS

Greetings, Traxians! Erik here.

It is with a not-too-unusual sense of joy that I bring you this very, very special edition of Talkin' RiffTrax. Why is it so special? Well, GetEven (an alternative title for this cult classic) is a movie I actually got to "screen" with Mike Nelson wayyyy back in the 2010s, and which unfortunately at that time was given a "no." Suffice to say it is one of my favorite memories of being a RiffTrax Employee that I got to watch Mike enjoy one of my favorite bad movies.

Yes, as a lover of bad movie cheese, I was already aware of this cinematic monstrosity, and had been historically responsible for multiple screenings over at various friends' houses. (Don't worry, these friends were also bad movie fans, so our friendships remain intact to this day. Although questions do remain about our respective sanity.)

Through whatever machinations have happened since then, RiffTrax was able to finally get our hands on this one, and I am thrilled that a riffed version finally gets to see the light of day. Very few movies have been more deserving.

The RiffTrax Pantheon is filled with hubristic auteurs who thought that they could write, produce, direct, and star in their own movies, despite the fact that they were previously software salesmen, architects, or miscellaneous. And now with Champagne and Bullets, we are pleased to welcome attorney John De Hart to this illustrious club. As a welcome gift, please accept fifty shares of NCT Software and a complimentary Doggy belly rub.

What sets Champagne and Bullets apart is that De Hart also performs most of the soundtrack with the energy of someone who got kicked out of a karaoke bar for disgracing Neil Diamond’s good name, only to get kicked out again a few songs later when they attempt to perform “I Am I Said” wearing a fake mustache and sunglasses. During his signature song, “Shimmy Slide,” De Hart’s facial expression is “They are holding my dog at gunpoint,” resulting in the most uncomfortable musical performance since John Daker.

Every hero needs a wingman, and De Hart took it literally, casting Wings Hauser as his best buddy. Wings appears to have had a great time on set, in the same sense that Carrie Fisher was having a great time on the set of The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Together, they will work to bust a Satanic cult that is led by their former partner — and you thought your co-workers sucked! This cult is up to some really evil stuff, including sacrificing babies, and financing movies starring trial attorneys who have no business singing.

Enjoy Mike, Kevin and Bill chatting about it more in the player above, or download it below, and get the full riff right here. Use the coupon code GETEVEN for another 5% off!

Yours in not making "Not a problem!" John De Hart's signature catchphrase,

Erik