Thank You For October

A soft little thing to bring this month's saga to a close, thank you all so so much for being so supportive and encouraging while I was going through my emotions.
To compensate I hereby declare November and December Halloween II: Electric Boogaloo, so don't be surprised to see something themed pop up at a later date. One reason this month's art block struggles bummed me out extra bad was because I genuinely was so delighted by some of the halloween suggestions (Van Helsing x Dracula, hello???? Who are you and how did you break into my favourite movies and hottest werewolf files????)

To anyone interested in hearing my thoughts on what went on inside my head to so thouroughly throw me out of the loop, the next few lines will be me musing on that:
I feel I've been both too critical of my work lately, and put pressure on myself to produce produce produce. Not because anyone told me to, but it's a hole I dug myself, said "oh boy am I glad I'm not the one in that hole!", covered it with leafs, and then my dumb ass fell right into it. I'm usually pretty good at giving myself leniency in the way that I allow myself times to just think, come up with ideas and visions for images, but this time around every time I sat down to draw, whatever came out just... wasn't it. And when that became a cycle for days, weeks, I panicked. But ideas, both my own and your suggestions, they're still there. And they pile up. And when none of it escapes, making room for new ones? I got lost in them all, trying to juggle everything at once while not concentrating anything at all.
It felt exactly like that one time couple of years ago, if anyone remembers. And just like back then, I can feel it in my bones that all I need to breathe, self-indulge, get some inspiring narration and art in front of my eyes, and a stretchy arm to pat myself on the back, to tell me it's okay you fool. And I cannot lie, hearing from you guys too that's it's okay, that helps. A lot.
More specifically, I think I shot myself in the foot this time around by fixating on the slasher thing. I feel it was one of those things where it's not really a genre I'm familiar with, nor I personally understand, but I feel like I... kinda? Secondhand get it? And it felt exciting to try something with it, I had ideas for images, but it all kinda clashed for both personal reasons as well as fear of patreon's content rules. Because you know. Slasher. Implications. And I just could not wrap my head around how to draw something that A) was representative for what I think people like about the genre, B) was still loyal to what I personally like and find hot, and C) wouldn't get my account sniped for a character not smiling enough while getting pounded by a bloody man in a mask. You know. That recipe spells for a dull, uninspired disaster.
I did some horror film research though! My boyfriend showed me Scream and Blair Witch Project (yes yes I'm uncultured and I own it!), we also watched Sleepaway camp and I think anyone who's seen that one can guess that I am now forever obsessed with camp counselor himbo Ronnie and his teeny tiny man shorts. What a legend.


That's a lot of text, no issue if you skipped it lmao. But! Good news! Getting some succesfull art under my belt at the end here has lifted my mood dramatically, so even though I want to keep my pace steady and build my mojo back up, I'm feeling optimistic.
Good news number two, I'm getting a kitten next Saturday so you can expect to see pics of him over at bluesky (OH and yeah all the shit once again going on with social media? Not helping with the stress!!!)

Thank you so much again. Thank you. I hope you had a nice halloween and that November will treat you kindly.❤️