youresodamnfat

YOUR INBOX. (No audio.)

Added 2022-12-31 17:54:23 +0000 UTC

From: Michael Lee (mickylee@gmail.com)

To: James Parker (jparker@aol.com)

Subject: I’m concerned

Hey Jamie,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I know we haven’t kept in touch that much since college, but we used to be pretty tight back in the day, right? I don’t want to write “hope you’re doing well” because I saw you in the mall this past weekend, and it’s pretty damn obvious that you’re not. And that’s why I thought I would write you this email.

Dude, when I saw you I could hardly believe it was you. You’ve gotten so hugely obese I didn’t recognize you at first. What I say now I say as a friend. You gotta do something about your weight, bro. The size of you took my breath away. I was so shocked that this huge, lumbering pile of lard was my old college roomie.

Look at the pic attached. Look at that tiny waist and how fucking shredded you were. You can see your rib cage FFS! And now you’re just this disgusting blob of fat. I actually saw you go into the “Big & Tall” store and the guy struggled to find anything that would fit someone as fat as you. I’m amazed you could actually walk, you’re so fucking massive!

You need to get help. You can’t just keep pigging out every day like a fat, greedy hog - which you obviously are doing. What does your doctor say? Can he even weigh someone your size? Honestly bro, you looked like such a fat fucking pig waddling through that mall.

So I dunno how, but sort your shit out, buddy. Everyone was making fun of you because you’ve eaten yourself into this immense, disgusting “thing.” Get help, man. Now.

Your old friend,

Micky