.misery.

what was all of this for.

now that the battle is over, and i won. what was all of this for?
why did you push me to do this?
what is wrong with you?

did you find it fun?
watching me cry- beg you, just for some clarity. for some communication. to understand why you were doing this to me?
did it give you a sick thrill when i would excuse your odd and calloused behavior to anyone who cared for me? excuse after excuse after excuse.
why did you do this to me? what is wrong with you. 

for the longest time i HAD to believe that there was a reason behind all of this. that something in you- maybe some unresolved trauma, something had snapped. and that was why someone who was my safe place, my shoulder to cry on, my home, turned into this horrid monster feeding off my misery. 

now things are different. i dont believe in the good in you anymore.
i think you never loved me at all. which hurts because i loved you so so much. i would have done anything for you, went anywhere for you, become anyone for you. you were the ruler of my heart, my mind, my body.
i worshipped you. 

and in return you spit in my face, threw me into the mud, and tried to drown me there. 

you arent that good though.
maybe it was your laziness, maybe it was your lack of competence, or maybe... maybe you thought that the attempt to ruin me would be enough to scare me away forever.
sad that you think that little of me. 

you took my money.
you took my happiness.
you took my innocence. 

now, im taking the remaining of your peace.

i may or may not have a little penpal in your pen, little pig.
i may have told my penpal that you are in there for more than just a drug charge.
whats the worst possible thing to be in prison?  :)

oh cheer up~
it is the holiday season after all!
the season of thankfulness. 

you should be thankful that im not in there with you :) have fun~