Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 157

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 157

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

…

I looked up from my desk and wished I didn’t.

“Now, you’re just improvising.” I grunted at A’Bel. The Archdemon pouted. She had a ponytail, glasses, and an amalgam between skintight workout clothes and an office outfit. Button up white shirt and tie, but backless and sleeveless. The tie sank into a tremendous valley and disappeared within. Sideboob and underboob threatened to both burst forth from the sides and below. The suit pants were more panties and declared the lack of panties with how simultaneously low and high they were. “Okay, fine, you’ve got my attention. What do you want?”

A’Bel giggled at her project working and pushed up her fake glasses.

“I would like a day off, my dear summoner.”

I nodded.

“Granted. See you in two days.”

With that, I looked back to my work… and wasn’t surprised two mountains soon cast a shadow over me.

I didn’t look up.

That top was more like a curtain than a shirt.

“Are you not going to ask what I intend to do, my dear summoner?”

“As your boss, that’s not my business, especially since I already approved it. But I can tell that you want to play… so fine.” I grunted and A’Bel flushed, giggled, and bounced a little in place. Well, her finely toned abdomen was. My male instincts screamed at me to look up just a little, but I resisted. “What are you planning to do with your day off, A’Bel?”

“Spend it with you, of course!”

Now, I’m a young man who has experienced an incredible amount of trauma and stress, which I’ve slowly began to rise above.

Not only that, but I’ve been the leader of a powerhouse of a region that is changing the entire world and will be remembered as the center of a technological and cultural renaissance in the near future.

I’ve had hundred of women throw themselves at me, and I didn’t so much as bat an eyelash. While it used to because of stress from seeing so many of my soldiers get raped to death, nowadays it was because I had iron will.

So, no matter what anyone says…

I didn’t blush from forehead to chin when A’Bel proclaimed her intentions.

It was just a normal flush of the cheeks.

No more and no less!

“What a wonderful sight. Truly, gap moe is amazing.”

“Oi, don’t take knowledge from me just to get new fetishes!”

“My dear master, I am Kindred. That’s all I could possibly do~!”

A’Bel laughed while I glowered at her, but soon enough she shook her head and sighed contentedly.

“I don’t believe you’ve noticed, but you’ve been quite busy since we left Ylstu, my dear summoner. As exciting as everything currently is, you are in need of a break… so I shall provide you with a perfect excuse.” A’Bel placed a hand on her chest. It almost disappeared in her ludicrous depths, but that wasn’t the point. “Your ever-rebellious Demon has demanded your time, therefore you can do nothing but acquiesce! I would like to spend all of tomorrow lounging, eating, and reading with my oh-so-diligent Master!”

It was my turn to sigh, and most definitely not batter down the heat on my face.

“Fine. You don’t need to keep embarrassing me, dammit.” I groused and shook my head.

I looked over at my desk, all that I finished and still had. Ever since we left Ylstu to help out Roseanne, I’d found my workload increasing. Black-ops work in recently-conquered territory was aplenty, and everyone else would do it wrong, so I took on the burden along with my troops. A’Bel was right. I’d been working hard, and hadn’t planned on taking a break, since I felt so close to finishing the fight I’d been fighting for more than half a decade.

A’Bel took a step back and smiled with hands clasped before her and waiting for a response.

In the back of my mind, I registered the fact that I would be taking a break while Roseanne and the Empire’s heir were wheeling and dealing, while everyone else of import tripped over themselves to get here.

A’Bel wasn’t just getting me to get rest, getting her rocks of somehow in the process, but also setting up a power play of some sort.

While all of you are working to decide the fate of the continent, I’m going to rest.

Something along those lines.

Mhmm.

Yeah, that just made the idea better.

“I’m glad you like it, my dear summoner!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take a break for a day. I get to rest, everyone else gets more scared of me, and no one can complain.”

It’s perfect and I couldn’t refuse.

Which was probably why A’Bel offered it here and now, in fact.

“Oh, you give me… just the right amount of credit, Hachiman!”

A’Bel swooned with satisfaction, while I shook my head and rose up with a stretch.

Alright.

Time to do as my Demon says and relax while everyone else is working their asses off.

After all, there’s nothing better than not working while everyone else is!

…

I had my ship land, had some deer hunted, and had a hammock set up in a grove next to a pond, while everyone else set up firepits and pots.

Given all the experience my troops had with expeditions, the work portion took up half the morning and before noon everyone was happy, full, and partaking in activities. Lunch was crewed by the ones who had the morning off, while those who cooked in the morning had the rest of the day for themselves.

Events were being held pretty quickly. A few Kindred got out personal instruments to play, some gathered together to read books, and some frolicked in the pond. Now, you’d expect me to say that those in the pond were scantily clad or nude. No. That’s not the case. All of them were either scantily clad or nude, whether they were playing a lute or chatting about books. Because that’s how Kindred are.

The number of fetishes I was looking at was terrifyingly increasing in number and variety and quality.

More than a dozen Kunoichi were somehow cosplaying a certain Eroge series’ costumes spot on. Those who weren’t subscribing to that were practicing their usual tactic of just wearing shadows and rays of light in the corner of my vision.

Most of the Amazons somehow acquired knowledge of bloomers, super-tight exercise wear, and yoga shorts (because yoga pants weren’t lewd enough.) The new tribes that were paler and taller preferred clothes that were looking more and more like cheerleading outfits, or fetishized sports uniforms, every time I glanced towards them.

Many of the Harpies had micro-bikinis with the emphasis on the micro, or the terrifying blue one-pieces complete with white name plates on the front… which were sometimes modified to be on the back.

The Werewolves somehow adopted denim short-shorts and white, sleeveless t-shirts that barely crested over their chests.

Maybe, after this war, I’ll devote my life to somehow figuring out how every single species of Kindred independently develop fetishistic wardrobes specific to their species. Not only that, maybe I’ll look into how they’re acquiring all the material for their new clothes. No matter how hard I look, I can’t find a trace of denim, let alone latex or yoga fabric in this world, yet I’m staring straight at it in various colors and perfect cuts no matter where I look.

Somehow, I thought that pursuing this course of research would lead to my demise… but I also didn’t want to back down from the mystery.

Anyway, my research into the secrets of this reality could wait for later.

My troops were relaxing, everything was in order, and so I could relax too.

I was set to just eat, lounge, chat, and read when Lisette arrived.

“…What are you doing?”

“Taking a day off. We busted our asses to get here quickly and we’ve done plenty to fuck over any threats.” I grunted and motioned for the Dragon to move, while she looked at me with confusion and frustration. More the former than the latter, in this specific instance. “You’re in my sun. Do you see my skin? This weather is the only way I’ll look healthy instead of pasty without getting burnt to a crisp, so get out of the way.”

Roseanne’s right-hand woman was quiet for a while, using her sub-par processor to handle and comprehend the situation no doubt.

I managed to take a bite of a venison sandwich before she rebooted.

“Roseanne is literally forging the future of the continent with the heir to the whole Empire… and you’re having a party?”

Lisette might’ve rebooted, but she still seemed to be stuck on a loop.

Where’s a cellphone repair shop when you need one?

“It’s not a party yet. Booze isn’t allowed until afternoon, the band hasn’t managed to agree on a set, and no one’s come forward for me to sign off on event prizes. Right now, we’re just eating and having refreshments.” I emphasized my statement by taking a sip of juice. It was the latest invention in Ylstu. Pasteurization allowed juice production to be industrialized. Soon, the first shipments of high-calorie beverages that are non-alcoholic and perfectly safe to drink will surge across the continent. Or, rather, towards the armies that Roseanne had operating hard, sweat campaigns. I’m gonna make so much money that it’s not even funny. That’s a lie. I’m going to laugh a lot. “Tell Roseanne she has an invitation, and so do the Royal Guards. No one else though, unless they bring their own meat and drinks.”

Lisette took a while to respond again.

Long enough for a Kunoichi to come by in a maid-bikini outfit and hand me two bottles of ice-cold juice.

I wondered why for a second, before realizing it was for Lisette.

Seems that she has some fans.

The Dragon had to take a seat, while sipping on her drink, and I relaxed a bit as she did.

I did pay her attention when she spoke again.

“How you can you be so calm?”

“Experience.” I answered her bluntly. “This isn’t my first world-changing event. Hell, it’s not even in my top ten.”

For everyone else, this was history being made.

For me, it was just another… Thursday?

Damn, so close to saying one of the decent lines from that American adaptation of a Japanese game.

“I think you’ve all forgotten, but I used to be from a world without magic, Kindred, or gods. Everything that’s strange and fantastical to you now… well, that’s how everything is for me day in and day out.” I offered Lisette some genuine advice and information, since she looked so lost and confused. Sue me, I can feel pity and remorse. Sometimes. On occasion. Alright, just when I’m not worried about anything and only to people I know.  “The Empire and Kindred coming to a peace treaty, while an Eldritch horror has driven most of the Empire into civil war? It’s as strangely normal as everything else.”

I’ll admit, I was afraid that my little heart-to-heart would turn my perfectly amicable relationship with Lisette into something strange (read: lusty) and different (read: horny).

So, relief filled my veins when she slowly nodded at my words.

“I see. That does help explain things.” The Royal Guard Captain. “If you’re used to being constantly terrified, I suppose that you’re used to being brave.”

“Less brave. More desensitized, but whatever you say.” I shrugged and raised my bottle at her. It was a little difficult to drink in a hammock, but I had practice. Now, if my carbonation experiments worked, I’ll soon have fizzy, sugary drinks to sell a thirsty populace. After this, it was making protein drinks with whey, powdered milk, or collagen, whichever we can produce more of in shelf-stable quantities. Not the Kindred’s preferred source of protein, but I won’t hear the complaints. “Just roll with it, do your best, and keep on living.”

Lisette was quiet for a bit more after those words, but soon enough nodded.

“My soldiers need a break as well. We’ll take your invitation, but we won’t be showing up empty handed… and we will win whatever events you have in store.” Lisette declared, before eyeing up the field and pond. If we were normal humans, I bet she’d have blanched at the sight of so many of my followers being either nude or wearing clothes lewder than being nude. Instead, she just nodded. If any god out there is listening, please don’t let this be a flag. Roseanne already has enough reasons to kill me. “We will see you then.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later.”

I waved her off, expecting the sun to return upon me, only for it to be blocked once again.

Ur.

Modest bikini with frilled skirt.

Tanned tomboy with slightly less tanned sections with messy hair down.

Wow.

“Wow.”

Ur blushed a deep shade of red.

A few Kunoichi popped up all around me to aggressively take notes, but didn’t care.

It’s not like that me liking variety and inching towards modesty was new.

Ur had to clear her throat before speaking.

“We require a judge and you’re the only one who will suffice. Come along, my chieftain.” Ur held her hand towards me. Although I had food, warm sun, and cool drinks, I accepted her offer without much of a thought. Dang, is this what returning to being a somewhat normal male means? I just go along with the flow when a pretty girl asks me to do something, instead of acting like a complete asshole? “By the way, if you seduce Lisette, Roseanne will definitely kill you.”

I couldn’t help it.

A let loose a little chuckle.

“Idiot, I’ve got too many people to be responsible for already.” I grunted and moved forward, even with Ur raised a questioning eyebrow at my words. “I’ll probably die from overwork as is. I’m not out to make sure that I die, you know?”

For a second, my words hung in the air without answer, until a bright and wide smile that took my breath away formed on Ur’s face.

“I’ll hold you to do those words, Hachiman.”

Ah.

I just confessed to doing my best to staying alive to take care of them.

How embarrassing.